Carrie Mae BR

Carrie Mae wins "Best Egg Decorating" Contest

2009-04-22T18:57:00.012-05:00

Jamie Bunny Rabbit is pictured at the top. The Easter Bunny is next.

RIDGE COVE CONDOMINIUMS - AFTERNOON

Prior to Easter:

JAMIE BUNNY RABBIT
After doing all the eggs last year for the Library Easter Egg hunt, I knew my daddy, The Easter Bunny, would want me to color eggs. He would be dropping off eggs any day now. I think he will drop off a dozen hard cooked eggs for me and another dozen for that lazy no good bunny rabbit, Carrie Mae.

I remember when mommy brought her here. Every day when mommy went to sleep, Carrie would jump on the love seat where I was sleeping with all my friends, Tricky Dickie Squirrel, Raphael (a big white tiger) and his son Ralphy, just a baby, Cecilia, (the Sea Otter, a/k/a C.C.)

Then, Carrie would kick me off the couch and onto the floor. Mommy finally bawled Carrie Mae out and told her to leave me alone. Carrie wanted no competition and was claiming her territory.

MOMMY
As Easter, 2009 approached, I knew there would be trouble over those Easter eggs. I knew The Easter Bunny would be dropping off eggs for his daughter, Jamie, and he probably would want Carrie to color some as well. Sure enough.

THE EASTER BUNNY
Here are your eggs, Jamie. I brought along another dozen for Carrie Mae to color. Carrie Mae, I apologize for not doing this before, but I wasn’t paying attention that there was another rabbit living here. All rabbits must help color the eggs for the children. This year there will be the Annual Easter Egg Roll in the White House on the Monday following Easter Sunday. And I want to please our new President and his family. Your names are on the tag on the basket.

CARRIE MAE
(thinking to herself)
Cram those eggs, Easter Bunny. I ain’t coloring them. I’m a pet.

MOMMY
I kept warning Carrie Mae that she had better get started on her eggs because time was running out.

JAMIE
I knew that lazy bunny wouldn’t color eggs. All she does is eat, poop, and sleep. As Easter was very near and not wanting to see my daddy upset, I took her eggs out of the fridge and colored them for Carrie and put them down in the basket with her name.

EASTER BUNNY
Well, Jamie and Carrie, I came for your eggs. I see you have them ready and just at first glance, I see they look beautiful.

MOMMY
(Shakes her head in disgust at Carrie Mae)

THE ANNUAL EASTER EGG ROLL AT THE WHITE HOUSE

On Monday, April 13, 2009, the Annual Easter Egg Roll commences. The Easter Bunny and a team of experts watch the proceedings with intense interest. As the proceedings get under way, The Easter Bunny decides he would like to have a judgment on whose eggs were the best decorated. All the bunnies agree on this and stare at the children and adults. They are basing their approval by their own judgment and on the acceptance by the participants (the children and The President).

A FEW DAYS LATER - NOON

At the end it was unanimous, that the eggs colored by Carrie Mae and Jamie were favored two-to-one over all the other competition. The Easter Bunny did not wish to influence the Contest, due to the fact that Jamie is one of his favorite children. (He has many children. He is a very prolific bunny.) After some arguing and haranguing, the panel of experts designate Carrie Mae’s eggs as No. 1 and Jamie is voted First Runner Up for her eggs. There are two other bunnies’ eggs in third and fourth place.

After that important decision, all the bunnies pig-out on salad and carrots. The Easter Bunny goes his merry way with a tummy ache, but after a week or so, he gets around to scampering down to see the third and fourth prize winners, who again feed him a lot of salad and carrots.

RIDGE COVE CONDOMINIUMS - Noon

Carrie Mae and Jamie are notified a few days later. The Easter Bunny, in person, comes to visit. Carrie Mae tells him to get away from her salad and Triscuits and Jamie is mortified with embarrassment but welcomes her daddy with open arms. Mommy offers him some carrots and some of Carrie Mae’s lettuces, which makes Carrie Mae grunt and growl ferociously. The Easter Bunny seems to take this in stride and then the rest of the panel of Experts come in and do a drum roll. Carrie Mae grunts and growls at them as well when she sees Mommy offering more of her carrots and salad to the newcomers.

It isn’t long before all of Carrie Mae’s food is nearly finished. Then The Easter Bunny announces Carrie Mae is the winner of the first Best Egg Decorating Contest that he initiated just this year. Carrie Mae grunts again, and says, “I’d like you better if you just went away.” With that The Easter Bunny also announces that he will award a year’s supply of carrots and greens to Carrie Mae. Carrie Mae says, “Fine. Bring them on. Let’s see them.”

Poor Jamie just stares at this scene. She waits for Carrie Mae to ‘fess up’ and tell The Easter Bunny the truth about who decorated the eggs. Carrie Mae just preens and says gratuitously, “I’m very happy and proud to get the prize.” Carrie puffs out her chest and mentions to The Easter Bunny, “don’t forget my treats.”

Jamie is heartbroken. She retires to Mommy’s bedroom and cries.

MOMMY
Mommy enters the bedroom and says, I’ll see that this mistake never happens again.

JAMIE BUNNY RABBIT
I hear mommy scolding Carrie.

MOMMY
You lazy lying rabbit. You should have confessed that Jamie did your eggs.

CARRIE MAE
(begins grooming)
(thinking to herself)
I’d like you better if you just shut up.

CHANNEL 2 NEWS - Early A.M.

It isn’t long before the Press picks up the news about the Easter Egg Coloring Contest. Channel 2 decides that it would like to have The Easter Bunny and the winner of the Contest on the Show.

RIDGE COVE CONDOMINIUMS - Very Early A.M.

Of course, The Easter Bunny takes Carrie Mae with him and at the last minute, says he wants his favorite daughter along as well. Jamie is still weepy, but agrees.

CHANNEL 2 MORNING NEWS STUDIO

When the three bunnies arrive at the Studio, they are greeted and treated like royalty. The producer says he has set up the interview booth and then has a dozen or so hard cooked eggs and wishes that the winner should demonstrate “how to color your Easter eggs.” Then Carrie Mae thumps in horror. The three are led out to the demonstration table set up and the announcer says, “Okay, guys, go to it.” Carrie Mae is stricken. The announcer says, come on, we haven’t got all day. Finally, Carrie Mae taps The Easter Bunny on the shoulder and tells the truth. It is Jamie who colored Carrie’s eggs and Carrie didn’t do anything but sniff around and then went to sleep. The Easter Bunny is horrified. However, he tells the viewers that there appears to have been an error in the print-out. Jamie is really the winner of the Contest.

After that, Jamie happily hops up on the table and demonstrates the coloring while The Easter Bunny narrates the proceedings. Carrie Mae slumps to a corner at the back of the set and begins to cry. Her day of glory is over. But Jamie and The Easter Bunny call her over and The Easter Bunny whispers something to Carrie. At that point, Carrie starts giving orders to Jamie about the colors to use and the sprinkles to add, etc. Everyone is happy and admiring of all three bunnies.

So don’t lie. Tell the truth, children, or else you may wind up in the corner like Carrie Mae.

Easter Bunny picture was printed from “Connections by Hallmark.

If you would like to comment, please do so here or on Carriemaebr@aol.com. Thank you.

Carrie Mae leads the Bunny Hop, her favorite dance

2009-04-10T11:49:00.004-05:00

Hello, all fans and friends of Carrie Mae, Bunny Rabbit.

You haven’t heard from Carrie Mae for quite a while. I just wanted to let you and everybody else know that both Carrie Mae and me, her mommy, are fine.

Carrie had an injury some months ago, but seems to have recovered fully. Her leg was out of joint (to the tune of $320). Her doctor sedated her, took X-rays, tried to manually put the joint back where it belonged, but with no success. He then let me take her home but she had to be caged for a few days to keep her off the leg. He gave me some medicine that I had to put in her mouth. I had to kneel, hold her down between my legs and while holding her mouth open with my left hand, I inserted the plunger behind her big front tooth with what her doctor referred to as “bunny Advil.”

Well, it worked fine although my hands were shaking when I put the stuff in. On his follow up visit, I think Carrie Mae got away from him (he looked embarrassed) and declared her okay.

I wanted to tell you about the funniest thing I had ever seen in my life and that’s why I’m writing this, not Carrie Mae.

One Friday night, I had a taste for pizza, ordered one and had the money ready for the driver when he delivered the pizza. The door was only open a minute or two. I took the pizza to the kitchen and opened the box, took out three square pieces and put them on a foam plate, went back to the front room, sat down and commenced to eat my pizza.

After two pieces, I noticed something wrong. It was too quiet and I said to myself, “Where’s the bunny?” I started to scream, “Carrie Mae, show yourself.” No reply. I put the pizza down on the coffee table, raced to the back bed rooms. She is not allowed in my bedroom, because I don’t want her pooping or peeing under the bed, and she’s not allowed in the computer room, where she chews cords if she can. Both doors were closed. No Carrie May.

I thought for a minute and then ran to the front door. There was Carrie Mae. She had escaped when the pizza was delivered. Then I noticed there was quite a show out there. The neighbors next door were out and their four-year old child was hopping around the room. The neighbor across the hall, who doesn’t speak English, was out too and her two-year old was hopping around as well.

I quickly explained that I was frantic because I didn’t know where she was. She must have run out the door when the pizza was delivered. “It ain’t easy to be a critter mommy,” I said to my neighbor, Mike, who laughed. I also told him that Al (across the hall from him) told me that Carrie Mae had presented herself at his door one day and Al’s wife, Awilda, had screamed. She thought Carrie Mae was a RAT. All laughed.

What happened next was certainly both charming and hilarious.

Carrie Mae hopped around the perimeter of the 6x12 hall, followed by Angela (the four-year old) who was now taking ballet lessons and then followed by the little two-year old, Thomas.

Carrie Mae, ran a while, then HOP, HOP, HOP, around the outer perimeter of the hall.

Angela followed, running a while, then HOP, HOP, HOP, then pirouetting.

Thomas followed, laughing, running a while, then HOP, HOP, HOP.

This went on for about three or four circuits of the hall. At that Carrie Mae decided it was enough and came on in.

After that whenever she heard noise in the hall, she ran toward the door and I could tell she wanted to go out there and play with her friends. Because the winter had been so severe and everybody needed to wear boots or leave shoes out to dry, there were plenty there and Carrie sniffed at every one looking for her friends.

Well, never a dull moment.

I gave up on chiding her to start on her Easter eggs, but little Jamie, one of the Easter bunny’s daughters colored her eggs and Carrie Mae’s eggs as well.

Oh well, all’s well that ends well.

HAVE A HAPPY EASTER and may the EASTER BUNNY leave you many beautiful eggs to find and eat.

GOOD BYE, CHILDREN OF ALL AGES.

If you wish to make a comment, please do so, on Carriemaebr@aol.com. Thank you.

Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit, Pres. of the USA

2008-11-03T12:17:00.002-06:00

I am Carrie Mae, Bunny Rabbit, and have asked for people to elect me on the Independent Bunny ticket to become President of the U.S.

After being sworn in, I would first meet with the CFO of Exxon-Mobil Corporation to find out how they managed a profit this quarter up 35 to 42% from last quarter.

I would then meet with Sen. Obama and Sen. McCain to discuss how they intended to get money out of a turnip.

I would next decree that all hay sold as pet food be given away (so I and my cronies would get into hay barrel feeding).

I will be a good president. You'll see.

Don't forget to write me in on your ballot tomorrow.

Thank you.
Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit

You may add a comment here or on my e-mail site at Carriemaebr@aol.com.

Halloween Greeting

2008-10-27T11:24:00.004-06:00

Carrie Mae wishes all a Happy Halloween. Go for the treats, guys.

Don't have a story for you for Halloween, but will try to get a good one on being elected President--How I would run the Country.

Thanks,

Carrie Mae, Bunny Rabbit

Carrie Mae Runs for President of the USA

2008-10-13T09:45:00.008-05:00

I'm sure you are all sick of politics and politicians by now, but I do what I think is best for the general public and must be done!

I have decided to run for President of the United States of America. I owe it to the critters of this Great Country. I have been called a self-indulgent rabbit that wants the whole World to revolve around me. My platform is simple. No rhetoric. No slamming the other candidates, only straight talk. If my sentences are short and choppy, just remember I'm only a little bunny rabbit.

If elected, I promise I will outlaw all cruelty to animals, EVEN CATS! Anyone caught in an act of cruelty will face the most severe punishment imaginable. They will have the same acts done to them that they were doing on the critters. I promise this legislation will pass the House and the Senate, or all their pets wil chase their owners away and the owners will be forced to live in shelters.

Furthermore, I will reenact slavery. The slavery will be performed by the humans for us animals, for favors the humans like--you can count on us to run up to the door and welcome the human in. Some of us endure chains and harnesses and run up to their human. No more of that and no more of poop pans either. Let the humans clean up after us.

You can write me in on your ballots on Tuesday, November 4th. I assure you that this is not hooey but is the honest truth. My stint in politics will survive all the other politicians.

I have decided how I will get public attention to my candidacy. I will break into the next debate and crash the party scheduled for Wednesday.

I can see it all now. Senators Obama and McCain, and the candidates for Vice President, Governor Sarah Palin and Senator Joe Biden, with Bob Schieffer facing them as moderator.

Hell bent on fury over the economy and the War in Iraq, the people in the audience are all hep-up and ready to go with tell-tale questions to trip them up. With all this hullabaloo and hoopla going on and right in the middle of it, I will come hippity-hopping in with my vice presidential candidate, Dickie Squirrrel, waving a banner with my logo (a Triscuit with a carrot) and the words: "Write in Carrie Mae for President, the World's one and only blogging rabbit." My roomie/slave will follow us, looking mortified. She has to do any debating since I cannot talk.

I hear somebody holler out, "How'd they get past security?"

Bob Schieffer will put his head back and laugh uproarously.

* * *

Don't forget you can write in my name, Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit, on your ballot when you vote on November 4th, Election Day. Thank you for your vote.

I AM CARRIE MAE BUNNY RABBIT, AND I HAVE APPROVED THIS MESSAGE.

Post comments here or on my e-mail site at Carriemaebr@aol.com.

Personal Medical Update

2008-08-03T06:15:00.004-05:00

Dear Friends,

I wanted you to know that I saw my doctor on July 30, 2008. He trimmed my nails and he checked how my leg was doing.

He put down a large beach towel on the floor and then put me on it. I ran like a true rabbit and he and his assistant had to chase me.

I hope to do some very good writing shortly, but right now my roomie/slave injured herself carrying my large cage from the corner by the door to where my food and play station are situated so she could watch me and I wouldn't be lonely. On the day that I saw my doctor she carried it back to the corner by the door. The next day her ribs and arms hurt. The cage is pretty heavy and the handles are on the long side rather than the narrow front and back. I guess she stretched her arms and chest area too much. She is taking Advil and this helps her.

As you know, my doctor gave me bunny Advil for my leg to get the inflammation down. My roomie/slave had to wrap my legs in a towel like a burrito, then she sat on me. She had to hold my mouth open with her left hand and then using a syringe and plunger, she had to give me my medicine in back on my big front tooth. She hated this procedure, but the medicine helped me. She takes her Advil by a pill and water.

I know all of you wished me well and will now wish my roomie/slave a quick recovery.

Love,
Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit

Carrie Mae's Surgery

2008-07-11T16:20:00.003-05:00

This message is from Carrie Mae's roomie/slave. I am sorry to inform you that Carrie Mae dislocated her hip and had to have surgery. She is recuperating at home now. The surgery was not successful, in that the dislocation reoccurred whenever her doctor did not manually support the relocation.

She will be unable to continue her blog for awhile. She is on medication for pain and inflammation, now, but we hope that she will be able to function soon. It is believed she jumped off her throne and missed her scatter rug and landed on the laminate floor sometime during the early morning hours of Monday/Tuesday, July 7/8.

She is scheduled to see her doctor for a follow-up, check-up on July 31st. In the meantime, her doctor has recommended she be confined to her cage to avoid use of the bag leg. I have had to give her oral medication each day, but tomorrow, her doctor said to let her out of the cage and start using the injured leg.

I hope all of you will say a prayer for her that she is at least pain free and does not need further surgery.

Carrie Mae's Name the Dragon Contest

2008-06-05T16:46:00.004-05:00

This is to let you know that besides a cash prize for naming the dragon, I am also offering a DVD shown on Animal Planet that depicts the evolution of dragons. This is a $20 prize besides the cash prize.

We really need a name for this precious beast.

Enter now!

Love,

Carrie Mae BR

Carrie Mae's Birthday and Name the Dragon Contest

2008-05-25T09:07:00.005-05:00

Hello friends and admirers of the "One and Only Blogging Rabbit," that's me, Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit.

I want to let you know that I have not forgotten my public, but my roomie/slave has to do the typing and she has been sick with the flu. Therefore, there is nothing I can do, because even though I tell her what to type, she says 'forget about it.'

Well, I started peeing and pooping on her tile floors and she changed her mind: this is my adoption date, which is now considered my birthday as well. As you can see from the picture, I am wishing hard. I am wishing hard for you to send me money.

AND, just to let you know, that I'm not greedy or presumptious of you, I am offering a CASH PRIZE for whoever NAMES THE DRAGON. My roomie/slave bought the dragon but she cannot think of a name for her. You'll notice the dragon is a female with an egg that must be kept warm, hence the fire underneath her. I decided to offer a CASH PRIZE for whoever comes up with the best name for this mommy beast.

To enter, simply write in the Comments section, or on my e-mail address at Carriemaebr@aol.com.

Good luck and I love you all. Don't forget to send money for me for my birthday present.

Love,

Carrie Mae, BR

Visit to Arnie

2008-04-19T17:14:00.006-05:00

Now that it was spring and the windows and screens had been washed, my roomie/slave opened up the balcony door and let the breeze blow in.

I sat patiently waiting until one day by friend Dickie Squirrel came along. We greeted each other warmly. After he had eaten and drank some water, he became very relaxed and talkative. He picked up his narrative telling me that went back many months to the fall of 2004, when Comfy and Cozy were still small. Since then he had two more children. Tricksy gave birth to twins again, a male and female, and named Nutter and Butter. He said he had a lot to tell me about all the squirrels, but decided to go back to 204, when Comfy and Cozy were mere nestlings, when the man named Jim and the lady named Chris lived in this very apartment now occupied by me and my roomie/slave. He said weather and roomie/slave permitting, he would try to bring me up to date.

So saying, I sat back and listened. The following is Dickie’s tale of a “Visit to Arnie:”

As time went by in the year 2004, the squirrels of Stony Ridge Creek Den settled down and prepared for the winter months. It was fall and the leaves were ablaze with color. Nuts and seeds were buried everywhere and Tommy took inventory of all his stashes. Pumpkinhead was now well established in the den and all of the critters were happy to see that Pouf and her “Pumpky” had become a couple and were planning on mating when the season began. Dickie had temporarily given up on interviews of new applicants for the den, because he was very unhappy with the quality of the squirrels who wanted to join his den. They were obviously nothing but trash scum, drifters, stupid and lazy and not to be trusted with the female squirrels of his den. The winter approaches swiftly and Dickie felt he would put off further interviews until spring, at which time, he would again visit the Chee-Crier and the process would start all over.

The baby girl-squirrels, especially little Cozy, nagged him constantly for a visit to see Uncle Arnie at the people’s house. Dickie paused. “You remember little Arnie, don’t you, Carrie Mae?”

“Yes, of course.” (See my blog of May 6, 2007, entitled “Dickie’s Tale: A Bad Nite for Sleeping - Parts 1 and 2.)

Dickie had dreaded this simply because he didn’t know if Arnie was alive. For all Dickie’s trips to the Condominium, he had never seen Arnie. He feared the worse and was afraid of upsetting his twins with such devastating news. However, he had postponed the visit for as long as he dared before winter set in. One day, he got Pouf to babysit and chased Tricksy to the apartment in the Condominium where the lady who fed the squirrels lived. He jumped on her screen door immediately while Tricksy made a racket.

“Tricksy,” Dickie said suddenly, did I ever make a whipping boy out of Arnie?”

“You, why, no. You always treated Arnie with great respect and love, as was due him. He was your brother.”

When the lady appeared she held her arms across her chest and waited until he saw her on his way down her screen door. “Well, hello! What can I do for you. A nut?” Dickie and Tricksy both stood on their haunches and pointed their forepaw at their chest in the squirrel begging posture. The lady threw some nuts out. But they ignored the nuts and continued to beg. The lady looked puzzled. She simply didn’t know what the squirrels wanted. She returned with a water bottle and filled their water bowl. Dickie ran inside the apartment. The lady made a racket, expressing surprise and alarm. Tricksy stood watching. Tricksy was one worried squirrel.

Dickie knew that once inside he had to move fast and search for Arnie. He cheed loudly. All of a sudden he heard an answering chee from inside the apartment. The lady began chasing him, holding her head, a look of horror on her face. Dickie literally flew inside to the master bedroom, and there in his small cage on the night stand table to the right of the bed, Arnie stood waiting. Dickie jumped on the table, nearly knocking over the lamp, and cheed loudly at Arnie. Arnie cheed back. The lady stopped in her tracks, backed off slightly and watched.

Arnie was jumping up and down excitedly. Dickie turned to the lady and held his forepaw out and curled toward Arnie’s cage. Dickie could easily have opened Arnie’s cage, but thought it best to see if the lady would open it and free Arnie. Dickie didn’t know the cage was unlocked and Arnie could open it and come and go at any time.

“Oh, my God, he’s got visitors. His friends came to see him. Okay, Dickie, I got a deal for you! I’ll take Arnie outside and let him out, if you promise to follow him and not jump around my apartment. If Arnie wants to go with you, he’s free to go.” Even if that breaks my heart, she thought.

Dickie jumped off the night stand table and watched. The lady opened Arnie’s cage. Both squirrels bounded toward the front door. When Arnie saw Tricksy, he jumped and cheed in joy. Tricksy came up to Arnie and kissed him on the mouth.

The lady was flabbergasted! “Did I just see those two squirrels kiss?”

The three squirrels stood and cheed for some time. The lady went inside her apartment and left the balcony door open. Once inside, she poured a glass of wine and sitting down on her couch, she leaned over to watch the squirrels. After a time, Arnie kissed Tricksy and cheed at Dickie. Then he came inside the apartment and jumped on his large cage in the entrance hall. The two squirrels started eating the nuts that the lady put out earlier. Each grabbed a nut and climbed on the rail to eat. “Never leave a nut uneaten. When they passed up the nuts earlier, I knew something ‘big and unusual’ was happening,” the lady affirmed. When the squirrels finished, they each took one last walnut for the road and left.

The squirrels discussed their visit when they got home. “See, Dickie, Arnie’s just fine. Never looked better. I know the others and especially the baby girl-squirrels will be delighted.”

“Tricksy, he’s bigger than before and his fur is as shiny as mine. His tail grew too. Now, I’m happy to bring the twins and the others to see him.”

Dickie suggested that perhaps he could bring Arnie to the group. It would be easier, but Arnie’s mommy would probably start crying, thinking that Arnie was not coming back. And Dickie was afraid that Arnie couldn’t make the necessary jumps. If he should fall and die, Dickie knew he could never forgive himself and the people (especially the lady) would be heartbroken. This idea was dismissed and it was decided that the squirrels would make the trip to Arnie.

However, there was a problem with the logistics of the expedition to see Arnie. The baby-girl squirrels had grown to the point where it would require the male squirrels to carry them. The squirrels would wait for a day when the winds were still. The squirrels would begin doing exercises with weights on their backs to prepare for jumps while carrying the baby girl-squirrels and the girl-squirrels were told they would have to do exercises also; they needed to learn to sit still when on the back of the carrier. No squirming, wiggling, giggling, gapping and pointing at sights along the way. Dickie felt that it would be in the best interests of the squirrels if he would lead the way, testing all the branches of the trees, etc., to be sure the branches would support the weights. He would also look out for trouble in the form of predators as well. Then Tommy should probably carry Comfy and Pumpky would carry Cozy. Tricksy and Pouf would follow and Crow would guard them from the rear. He felt Crow adored the baby girl-squirrels so much that this duty would be carried out with great honor by Crow and he would not goof off.

That left an empty nest, and if other squirrels in the area saw them leave, these squirrels might think that the family was abandoning their home, and feel free to move in. Dickie spoke to Tommy and Pumpky first. Dickie was shocked speechless when Tommy told him that under no circumstances would Tommy leave his stashes unguarded. Tommy was adamant that he was not going so he would stay within the boundaries of the den to warn other squirrels away. Dickie thought in the alternative that he would stay behind, but then Tommy said he definitely did not want to go on a trip to visit Arnie. “I’ve got to stay here, so others won’t think we evacuated and deserted this den and move in to replace us; or break into my stashes. Give him my love.”

Tricksy was furious with Tommy when she heard this news. “I’ll bite his ears off! she screamed. Arnie is his son and a hero and he cares more about his precious stashes and hoards of nuts. The old skinflint!”

Dickie was hushing Tricksy. “Don’t let the babies hear you. That’s their grampa, you know.”

Tricksy begrudgingly stopped complaining. “What will you do, Dickie.”

“Pumpky and I will carry the girls. Tricksy, you had better lead the way. Pouf will want to bring her teddy bear Snort and Crow will guard the rear. I’ll think of something to tell Arnie.”

“You mean to lie to Arnie, don’t you.”

“Well, yes, lie. I don’t want Arnie to know the truth about his father.”

It was a sight to behold. A line of squirrels came. People gawked at this procession of squirrels. Wherever possible, the baby girl-squirrels walked behind the carrier squirrel assigned to each of them. Dickie would stop from time to time when he heard giggles and remind the girls to behave. It was hard to scold such sweet little things when they were so happy and excited! It was their longest trip outside the confines of the den. They arrived at the condo on a bright morning in late fall. The trees were gold and crimson against the dark green of the evergreens and Tricksy or Dickie would call halts from time to time both to let the carriers get their breath after a jump and to let the girls-squirrels have a chance to take in the sights.

When Arnie saw them, he was overjoyed. The lady and the man both gawked at them with mouths open. Arnie bounded out of the balcony as soon as the lady opened the door. The girl-squirrels jumped and cheed and kissed Arnie. Tricksy and Pouf kissed Arnie. Pouf introduced Arnie to her teddy bear Snort. Pumpky and Dickie stood off to one side, arms folded across their chests. The man came out on the balcony with a big bag of nuts which he put in the squirrel dish. The squirrels were so excited that they didn’t back away.

“Be careful, Jim, don’t step on one of the babies. Aren’t they darling. I think I’ll call them Comfy and Cozy. Would you see what Pouf has in her mouth. It’s a teddy bear! Oh, my God! Now for sure, I’ve seen everything.”

All of a sudden, the balcony became rather quiet, although the babies still chattered excitedly. Arnie was looking up and down and around. He seemed to shrink in size and he hung his head. Then he started wringing his forepaws and crying. “Aargh, aargh, aargh.”

“My God, what’s wrong with Arnie all of a sudden, the man said. What do you think happened that caused the squirrels to go so quiet?”

“I don’t know. I can’t imagine.”

Suddenly, Arnie bounded up the gable to the roof. Dickie followed him quickly. Tricksy and Pouf cried, “Aargh.” The girl-squirrels stopped chattering and looked confused. No one touched the nuts. Pumpky reached out to Tricksy and Pouf, as if to console them. Pouf hugged her teddy bear and cried. “Aargh.”

Dickie returned, cheed and the squirrels prepared to leave. The baby girl-squirrels got on the back of their carrier, looking sad and confused. Tricksy and Pouf followed, then the small, skinny squirrel, Crow.

“Something’s very wrong and Arnie may have left us, dear,” the man stated.

“Oh, God, no. He’s got to come back. I don’t know what I’ll do without him.”

“You mean what we’ll do without him,” the man sadly stated. “Bye, guys. Take care of our Arnie. Your Arnie now, I guess. No more workouts on his jumps, no more raising the broom stick with Arnie. I had more fun than him when he made higher and higher jumps.”

“Bye.” The lady walked back into the condo trying to hide her tears.

Arnie never stopped running until he reached the tree that was home to the squirrels of Stony Ridge Creek Den. He ran toward a fairly big older squirrel who seemed to be studying his hind legs and the ground in front of him. The big squirrel turned when he heard Arnie’s approach. He stopped dead. His eyes widened. “Arnie, is that you?”

“Why didn’t you come to see me like the others. You’re my father. I was thrilled to death that you were coming because I missed you so much. What excuse did you use?”

“Now, son, you know I couldn’t leave the tree home alone, son. Somebody had to stay to protect it.”

“That’s a lie. Dickie or Pumpkinhead could have stayed to protect the den. You miserable liar. You’re just ashamed of me because I’m small and a runt. You’re afraid other squirrels would think that you were not a good breeder.”

Tommy put his head down and Arnie saw small tears course through his father’s fur and fall to the ground. “I love you son. I’ve always loved you all the more because you were so small and helpless. Runts happen. I wished it could have been me, not you. You’ll never understand how proud I was of you when you attacked that large Renegade Red Fox Squirrel to save little Comfy from being squirrel-napped. I saw how hurt you were and I knew you must die of such an injury. I would have had to be the one who put you out of your misery, but Dickie said we should take you to the people as a last chance to save your life. I threatened the man that I’d get revenge on them if you were further hurt. But, Dickie was right. When I heard you were well again, grown, and your fur was sleek and your tail sprightly, I was overjoyed. I didn’t come to see you because, because . . . because I was afraid I’d break down and cry in front of the others, and I was ashamed of myself for cursing the man and afraid he’d recognize me. I should have come. Don’t hate me too much. I’m sorry.”

Arnie was speechless with surprise. He went over to his father. Tommy embraced little Arnie and held him close. Both cried silently.

Dickie stood at the doorway with little Comfy at his side. He blocked her way, but she broke through and ran up to Arnie and climbed on both squirrels until they each held up an arm for her. All the squirrels were now gathered outside the entrance to the den, very quiet and overcome with emotion over the reunion of Tommy and his son, Arnie.

“It’s time for me to go home now. Thanks all of you for coming to see me. I love you all. I love you, daddy. Come around by yourself one day. I’ll stand by the balcony window and watch for you.”

“I’ll do that, son. I’ll do that.”

With that Dickie and Pumpky touched Arnie on the shoulder, Tricksy and Pouf kissed him. Arnie bent down and kissed Comfy and then Cozy. “Goodbye, thanks again, all of you. I love you, even Snort, the teddy bear.” Dickie led Arnie back to the people.

There was a general celebration between the lady and the man and their pet squirrel Arnie that night. The lady filled a shot glass half full of wine and put it in Arnie’s cage. He sucked it down greedily, smacking his lips after. This is a great life, you bet, Arnie thought. I get to have my cake and eat it too!

With that Dickie got up and yawned and stretched. “I’ll see you around soon, Carrie Mae.”

Well, that’s all for now folks. Leave a Comment here or you can e-mail me at Carriemaebr@aol.com.

Good bye and love.
Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit.

I'm innocent until proven guilty. Earthquake!

2008-04-18T10:55:00.008-05:00

This is to alert you that at approximately 4:37 a.m., today, Friday, April 18, 2008, an earthquake originated at Mount Carmel, Illinois, 6 miles north of the New Madrid fault.

I know my roomie/slave was awake because I heard the flushing of the toilet in her room and saw her turn the lamp on and off. Of course, I knew she sometimes wanted to sleep later than I do, and I want her up with me!

Sometimes she just has the gate up between the kitchen and the small hall that leads to her bedroom. In that case, it is possible for me to knock over the bag of plastic and paper bags placed on the little blue recycle can that holds the nuts for the squirrels and pull the gate down enough for me to sneak through. However, if the door to the bedroom is closed, then all I can do is come around and chew on the wood work at her bedroom door until she gets up.

I knew something was happening. As all animals can, I felt the vibrations in my body and my extra sensory perception told me that all was not well. I tried to get past the gate at least, but the recycle can was too heavy with a new supply of nuts and rabbit pellets and I couldn't budge it. I just had to wait.

Eventually, she got up and turned on the news. That is when she heard there was an earthquake in southern Illinois. She was surprised but told me that at about the time mentioned, she thought I had been able to get inside her bedroom and suddenly jump on the bed. She said she felt a "thump" like when I sometimes jump on her when she has fallen asleep on the couch. She was sure it was me. She said she woke up, sat up in bed and looked (even though it was dark) and felt around the bed. She decided she had dreamed this occurrence because she was positive I was not in the room and that it would have been impossible for me to get in. I know she was surprised about the earthquake

It seemed to me from the phone calls and e-mails read over our local news that many people in the Chicago vicinity felt the earthquake in their beds. I wonder if that is because the bed is so large and heavy. Would they have felt it if they were just standing or sitting down? Some people never felt it at all.

From now on I will try to get into her bedroom come hell or high water and jump on her bed. It will be my new challenge in life.

Love and stuff. Leave a comment here or if you prefer, send me an e-mail with your thoughts and comments to Carriemaebr@aol.com.

Thank you,

Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit

Carrie Mae's Miracle of the Eggs

2008-03-19T13:47:00.007-06:00

Last year, I was really put out by my roomie/slave and her friend Doug niggling me to step up to the plate and "do those eggs." That meant coloring and hiding the eggs for the children on Easter morning.

This year, Doug started on roomie/slave early and she started nagging me to color the eggs. Screw Easter and all that work. I thought and thought and thought. There was only one hope for me. Santa Bunny did double duty as the Easter Bunny. But I knew he was really mad at me. (See Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit's Christmas 2007 Blog.) Santa/Easter Bunny was my only hope. After all, that WAS his job. I tuned in to him using my rabbit ears as antennae and giving it all with my rabbit extra sensory perceptions. Oh, hear me, I'll be a better bunny this coming year, but you must come to my aid now.

There was no return signal from Santa/Easter Bunny. I was crushed. All my hopes were dashed. What could I do now?

Then one evening about half-way through Lent, my roomie/slave was watching TV and having a glass of wine. I sat by her feet. The phone rang. She muted the TV and went to talk on the phone. I supposed it was Douglas asking her if I got started on the eggs. Just like him to turn a nice evening into mush.

"Oh, well, I suppose I could," I heard her say. "Its for a good cause, I know. I haven't colored eggs in such a long time, I don't know how any more. Okay. I'll call you a few days before Easter, but no later than the 19th. You'll be picking them up? Give me your phone number. Oh, that's nice! I get reimbursed for the cost of the eggs, coloring and whatever else I need. All right, I'll do it. Maybe I can get my bunny to do the work. Ha. Ha. Ha. Okay, then, good bye." She hung up and returned to her seat on the couch before the TV.

"Well, don't look at me with those big brown eyes. I guess one of us has to step up to the plate for the children. That was our Librarian. They are having an Easter Egg hunt on Thursday, March 20th, before Easter and I'll be coloring some eggs for the hunt."

True to her word on Tuesday, the 18th, she went shopping and came back with a whole bunch of groceries, including three dozen eggs plus Easter egg dyes (in other words, "the works"). Well, I know I should have felt sorry for roomie/slave. I watched her as she got out the vinegar and heated water. She had a bunch of coffee mugs out on the counter, a new invention called an egg "Grip 'n' Dip," and even cooking oil to shine the eggs. She proceeded in making a mess of the kitchen and herself. She grumbled and swore. Is this the way Easter eggs should be colored, with such bad feeling? I think this is wrong and since I'm slightly fey, I know this could only lead to ultimate disaster.

She had dye all over her hands. She had dye on her bleached blond hair and on her clothes. She was really a mess! She put the eggs in the refrigerator. She called the Librarian and told her to pick up the eggs the next day. Would it be a martini day? If so, how many? Over two and I'd probably not get my evening salad. She'd pass out on the couch before she made my salad. Oh, I had a long night like that, little or no hay left, no salad, icy cold water, and she's snoring on the couch. When she wakes, she stumbles off to bed and forgetting about me, I'm doomed to hunger.

The next day our bell rang, and roomie/slave helped the Librarian take the eggs down to her car. In that short time, it was all over and I thought I'd heard the last of it. It was a quiet day and evening from that time on.

Early in the morning of the 20th, our phone rang, and I heard my roomie/slave gasp, saying, "Oh, no. Oh, how horrible. Who did this to us? Yes, I could do a dozen, in time for the children arriving at 10:30 this morning. I understand it will take you and the others a couple of hours to clean up the mess that was left." Then, after a pause, "Oh, my! Yes. I have a bunny, but, but, but..."

As I've said before, my roomie/slave talks to herself and to me constantly. "Some vandals broke into the Library after closing and got the eggs out of the refrigerator at the Library. They both threw the eggs all over, smashing them against the walls, or carrying them off. They don't know whether the vandals were punks or street people, bu believe that whoever did it was high on drugs. I said I'd get a dozen or so eggs, boiled and colored, over to them as soon as possible, but, Carrie Mae, they want me to bring you too. So the children will have an Easter bunny to play with. I'm counting on you, Carrie Mae!

My roomie/slave was very upset and I felt sorry for her. She hurried out to the store to buy eggs and when she returned, set about coloring them. Another mess. Then, we had another go-around to catch me. (See my April 27, 2007 blog, entitled: "My Lifestyle." She was taking me with her to the Library! I was to be the Easter bunny! Oh, no. Not me.

When we got there, one of the Librarians was crying. She took the eggs from my roomie/slave and thanked her profusely. I looked out from my carry case to take in the surroundings. I was a little drowsy. It was my time to sleep and I was tired from the big chase. I was put in a corner while my roomie/slave proceeded to help the librarians hide the eggs. After a short snooze, I was awakened by a couple of little people, trying to open my carry case. Each time the library door opened and a new child came in, a little girl would yell, "Look, here's the Easter bunny." Finally, one of the bigger kids came over and pulled the catches back. The boy opened the top of the carry case and all the kids "oohhed and aahhdd" over me. I liked that. Lots of attention. I hopped out of the case and the kids were applauding and pushing each other to get closer to me.

By now the librarian and my roomie/slave heard the commotion and came over to take charge. I ran for cover between two of the bookcases and then I saw a display case with Easter toys on it. I jumped on it and hid between a duckling and some chicks.

The librarian called out that the party had begun and the children could start searching for the Easter eggs. She apologized for only having one dozen eggs, but said there was plenty of chocolate and candy eggs on the tables for the children. The children looked sad and disappointed and the little one (who liked me) started to cry. I jumped down and went over to her, nudged her foot and ran to where I knew there would be a real egg. She jumped for joy. Then I started leading the others to the eggs. Some of the children looked disappointed about the eggs. Roomie/slave's eggs were very ordinary and only the very little children happily took an egg and jumped for joy.

At that time, I noticed something funny and thought I was losing my mind. As more children came in, I started nudging them because my ears were buzzing with signals and my esp was guiding me to the hiding places for the eggs. We were finding eggs that had ribbons and lace around them; some had squiggly designs. Some eggs were speckled and some even glowed. Some of the eggs wore tiny felt hats and had funny faces. Some even had the children's names written on them. There were eggs covered with glitter in many dazzling colors. There were so many beautiful eggs, striped and spotted that sported designs and patterns around the stripes. Some eggs were star-spangled and in every color of the rainbow.

But these were not the eggs tht my roomie/slave cooked and colored. I gawked at the eggs as the children screamed in delight. The librarians were awe-struck and speechless and so was my roomie/slave. The little girl who had first seen me pointed at me and screamed, "that's the Easter Bunny and it brought the eggs." All the other children cheered and said "Easter Bunny! Easter Bunny! Easter Bunny!" I knew who had to have contributed these eggs. I ran to the hiding place between the duckling and the chicks and threw out signals to Santa/Easter Bunny, thanking him for the gifts of these beautiful eggs.

"I didn't cook, color or hide these eggs," was the reply from Santa/Easter Bunny. "I was too busy. You need to make an appointment if you want my services at Easter. My daughter Jamie did your eggs. This was her first assignment, since coming of age. Jamie is preening with delight. Just you remember your manners from now on, Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit. I don't want to hear any of your nonsense next Christmas. I nearly resigned. However, I'm glad that it worked out so well for your owner. She's a nice lady and the librarians worked hard for the children. I liked the way you nudged the little girl and the others and helped them find the eggs. You're really a pretty good bunny yourself. Go and enjoy the party. There's Triscuits for you. Have a wonderful Easter."

Thank you, Santa/Easter Bunny, and thank you, Jamie. I love you both. I wish you a happy Easter, too, and I'll always be in your service.

And, that, folks is all there is. All the children had a wonderful time. The eggs were so beautiful that pictures were taken and sent to the local news (as well as the facts about the vandalism) so the event could be shown on TV. The miracle of the Easter eggs was described on the morning news. All the people at the TV station and the viewers were looking at the beautiful eggs and watching the children cheering me as "Easter Bunny! Easter Bunny! Easter Bunny!" But I can't talk and so nobody ever found out who did those beautiful eggs. My roomie/slave scoffed at the notion of her lazy pet doing the eggs, but she was as mystified as the rest about who really contributed all those beautiful eggs.

The police investigated and found the vandals who destroyed the first batch of eggs and they were punished.

But to this day, no one but me, Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit, knows who did the beautiful substitute eggs -- Jamie, the Easter Bunny's daughter. Hip, hip, hurray, Jamie!

* * * * *

You may wish to leave a comment here or you can e-mail me at Carriemaebr@aol.com.

Have a happy, wonderful Easter, and don't eat too many eggs.

My Valentine

2008-02-14T12:06:00.006-06:00

Dear Readers,

I wish you love! On this Valentine's Day, I am extending to you my fondest wishes. I am only a poor bunny rabbit and can't buy you candy or flowers. I wish you the best in love.

To my dear readers this is also an apology for not finishing this Valentine's Day wish. I just couldn't do it without help from my roomie/slave. Then I thought we'd combine it with a President's Day Greeting, but I was LOCKED in my cage on Sunday and Monday and part of Tuesday, and there was nothing I could do. She had her cleaning lady out on Tuesday.

My roomie/slave's friend Douglas said it was time to get started on my best holiday coming up--Easter, a'la the Easter Bunny. So wish me luck.

Justice Shall Prevail

2008-01-30T09:12:00.001-06:00

EDITOR'S NOTE: I believe it will be easier to read this blog as a script (like a play or screenplay). Okay? Here we go!

Scene A

INT. MS. D. & CARRIE MAE BR'S HOME - AFTERNOON

CARRIE MAE BR: I was muching on hay and snoozing when, about one o'clock p.m., my roomie/slave came back upstairs with the mail, ranting and raving.

ROOMIE/SLAVE: What the *|;!@ is this %*|+/? A notice from a collection agency addressed to my pet bunny rabbit, Carrie Mae?

Carrie Mae, what do you know about this?

CARRIE MAE BR: I looked up in surprise and fright. What had come in the mail that upset my roomie/slave to this extent?

Scene B

TWO WEEKS EARLIER:
INT. LAW FIRM OF LIDDLE AND ASSOCIATES, P.C.

FLUNKIE NO. 1: Liddle wants us to send out these notices to collect some debts, but I don't think he took a good look at this one. It seems like Carrie Mae BR or Carrie Mae Brown is a rabbit.

FLUNKIE NO. 2: Sure does, it must be a mistake on this part.

THE BOSS: So, what's so important that you two have to have a discussion on my time. Get back to work!

FLUNKIE NO. 1: Mr. Liddle, sir, it looks lie this collection judgment is wrong. It looks like we got it off the internet, but that the debtor is a rabbit.

THE BOSS: (Grabs the documents out of the hands of Flunkie No. 1.) What do you mean? A rabbit can't write a blog. Obviously, the owner of the rabbit writes the blog. Carrie Mae BR. Huh! Look on the profile sheet, you dummie, she tells you her name and what BR stands for (if you would only look past your nose). She says here on the profile she's "brown and round." Send it to Carrie Mae Brown. Obviously, that is what the BR stands for, shortened for Brown.

FLUNKIE NO. 1: Okay, Mr. Liddle, sir, you're probably right.

THE BOSS: Of course, I'm right, idiot.

The boss walks away and his flunkie proceeds to send out the notice to Carrie Mae Brown at roomie/slave's address.

Scene C

INT. MS. D. & CARRIE MAE BR'S HOME - AFTERNOON

CARRIE MAE BR: My roomie/slave looked up my name in the telephone directories. There was one person with a similar name in the suburban directory and thirty people with a simlar name in the Chicago directory. That is, there were people with the surname of Brown, but that was not MY surname. My name is Carrie Mae, Bunny Rabbit.

My roomie/slave was seething with fury. What kind of idiot would try to collect money from a bunny rabbit, calling her Carrie Mae Brown, just because my profile on my blog states I am Carrie Mae, BR, and my description states I am "brown and round."

There was going to be much trouble, I knew!

Scene D

INT. LOBBY, BRIDGEVIEW CRIMINAL COURTS BUILDING - MORNING

CARRIE MAE BR. I was being carried in my carry case into the building of the Bridgeview Court by my roomie/slave. She was stopped by a uniformed and armed guard, who questioned her extensively and examined the documents in the folder she had brought along. Then he called another guard, a discussion ensued, the documents were again scrutinized, the men scratched their head and shrugged their shoulders, saying "I don't know, let the judge sort it out." Then, I was carried into the building and up an elevator. I laid low and kept a very low profile.

Scene E

INT. JUDGE JONES' COURTROOM, BRIDGEVIEW CRIMINAL COURT BUILDING - MORNING

CARRIE MAE BR: Some time passed. I had to poop and pee, but held it. I looked around. There were a dozen or more people in the courtroom, talking in hushed tones and looking as if they suffered boredome from waiting and yet dreaded the start of proceedings.

COURT BAILIFF: Please all rise. The Court will come to order. Judge Martin Jones presiding.

The judge, a tall Black man in robes, finally appeared from a door behind the Bench (just like "The Donald" does on his television show), strode in the Court with great authority, and sat down at his seat.

He looked over the papers on his desk, then looked down at the participants seated in the court room, and, as I knew would happen, his eyes came to rest on me and my roomie/slave.

JUDGE JONES: Young, lady, you cannot bring animals into my Courtroom. Please excuse yourself, take the animal out and a Bailiff will watch over it. How did you get in here in the first place? You should have been stopped at the entrance door.

ROOMIE/SLAVE: Judge, I explained to the bailiffs that the warrant and court order says that the "named defendant" must appear. Carrie Mae, my bunny rabbit, IS THE NAMED DEFENDANT in this case.

JUDGE JONES: Is this some kind of joke? If so, I'm not in the mood for this type of humor.

ROOMIE/SLAVE: (Pointing at the plaintiff's table) No, I don't consider this a joke and, Judge, you should ask the plaintiff, NCD (No Can Do), why they are suing rabbits.

At this point, the participants in the court room waiting their turn, began to snicker and look at each other. Pretty soon, the snickering turned to giggling and laughter.

Judge Jones banged his gaven down hard.

JUDGE JONES: Order in the Court. Counsel for NCD, Mr. Middle or Piddle, whatever your name is, what do you know about this?

NCD - COUNSEL: Nothing, Judge. We asked for Carrie Mae Brown to come to Court for a hearing and answer why she won't pay a debt.

ROOMIE/SLAVE: That is correct, your Honor. Here are the papers on it. I don't know how they got the name of my bunny rabbit. Her name is Carrie Mae, BR (the BR stands for Bunny Rabbit), not Brown.

She's just a little bunny rabbit, your Honor. She doesn't have a credit card account or a saving account in a bank. I brought all her papers, her adoption from the Animal Welfare League Shelter, her doctor records at VCA Worth Animal Hospital, and all my expense records on her. I give her a dollar a week as allowance, and I brought that money too. That is the only money in Carrie's name. Besides, the law firm that represents NCD started calling me and leaving recorded messages on the weekends looking for Carrie Mae BR. Whenever I called their office, they were closed. These calls were nothing but bully tactics, knowing fully well that no one was at their office and were used for intimidation purposes only. When I did reach someone with a deep Spanish accent during the week, and tried to explain, he kept talking, and so refused to listen, and then hung up on me.

Your Honor, Carrie Mae is really sweet, if you put your finger in her carry cage, she'll kiss it, but be careful she doesn't get out.

CARRIE MAE BR: Of course, I heard this and was waiting for the moment. It was as if my roomie/slave was telling me to do something.

The judge took the folder and examined all the documents carefully. I viewed the man sitting at the NCD table, who was looking a little sick. Finally, the judge closed the folder and grinned widely.

JUDGE JONES: Well, let's see this little critter. If this the debtor? Ha! Ha! Ha!

CARRIE MAE BR: When he opened the little door on top of the carry case, I was ready. I swung into action and jumped out. In one fluid motion, I jumped onto the judge's desk, to the witness chair, and then to the floor of the Courtroom. From there I disappeared in seconds. After everyone was looking for me somewhere in the back of the courtroom, I slipped over to LCD's table and crapped and peed on the man's shoes. Oh! What a relief it was!

The bailiff and the court clerk tried to chase me. My roomie/salve put her hands on her head (as if in despair) and started shaking her head back and forth.

The Court room erupted into riotous laughter.

JUDGE JONES: (Banging on his gavel) Order! Order in the Court!

ROOMIE/SLAVE: Oh, no. Carrie, come back.

CARRIE MAE BR: I do believe my roomie/slave started to cry. She could probably have won an Academy Award for her performance that day.

JUDGE JONES: Bailifff, find the little critter.

CARRIE MAE BR: Needless to say after about a half-hour, I was chased down. I had pooped and peed here and there, and now I was ready to go back into my carry case.

COUNSEL FOR NCD: Judge, the little son-of-a-bitch shit and pissed on me!

JUDGE JONES: Mr. Piddle or Fiddle or whatever, counsel for NCD, what are you and your people thinking of? Why have you disgraced this Court. The critter is smarter than you. I'd like to do the same.

ROOMIE/SLAVE: That's exactly right, Judge. These people have filed a frivolous and worthless lawsuit and should be punished. I wrote them and in the file on your Bench is a copy of my letter and affidavit. I wrote them and told them Carrie Mae Brown does not live at my address. Carrie Mae BR is a rabbit and has no assets, never purchased anything from Stone Memorials, and neither have I, and I should not be held responsible for NCD's negligent and stupid errors.

JUDGE JONES: That is right, young lady. You and your rabbit may leave the Court now. The case against you is dismissed. You may send me any receipts for out-of-pocket expenses that you were forced to incur. I will see to it that you are reimbursed for your time for this appearance as well as for your expenses.

Counsel for NCD, stay where you're at.

COUNSEL FOR NCD: Groan. Ohhhh, nooooo! Judge, I object!

CARRIE MAE BR: My roomie/slave picked up my carry case and cooed to me, saying, "Come on, Carrie, we're going home." She wasted just enough time to hear the judge say:

JUDGE JONES: Counsel for NCD, Fiddle or Faddle, sit down. You will draw up an order now stating that you will pay charges for my time and the court personnel's time for this nonsense as well as Ms. D's time and expenses. Clerk, how long have we ....

CARRIE MAE BR: And, then we were gone. My roomie/slave was overjoyed. We also received a check from NCD in the amount of $156 for our times and expenses and, of course, it went right into my Bunny Bank.

You see, crime really doesn't pay, expense to the innocent, that is.

EDITOR'S NOTE: You can leave a comment here or on my e-mail at Carriemaebr@aol.com.

My dearest guardian (roomie/slave) joins me in sending our most sincerest condolences to the immediate family and the CBS2 Chicago family and friends of the news anchor Randy Salerno who was killed on January 24th in the snowmobiling accident in Wisconsin. We all loved his wit and humor and I hope he can read the foregoing blog and laugh up in heaven. In the meantime, I am praying to him to interceed for me with the Almighty. I am going over the heads of Santa Bunny and Santa Claus to ask for that Mercedes-Benz, Honda or Willie Nelson. Any one or all will do. Do your best, Randy. Love from Carrie Mae BR.

My New Year's Resolutions

2008-01-12T09:35:00.000-06:00

Hello, dear friends and admirers,

I, Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit, hereby declare my New Year's Resolutions:

1. I will faithfully use my poop pan when roomie/slave (r/s) is watching me.

2. I will not eat newspaper or cardboard, except when r/s is sleeping.

3. I will never run underneath my r/s's bed, expect when r/s is nearby and able to chase me. I think that is great fun and good play for a bunny rabbit. R/S does not agree.

4. I will never again chew on the USB cord that attaches the printer to the computer because r/s was REALLY UPSET. She was so upset it spoiled her Christmas Day. The neighbor next door came in with another USB cord and fixed it and the computer and printer were working within five minutes. I knew r/s was really mad at me because she threw the old chewed up cord on my throne and left it there for a whole day.

5. I promise to give up Triscuits.

Well, you might as well know that I have not kept these resolutions, except No. 4 (because r/s is very careful to be sure I can't get into the Computer Room). I made other resolutions, and haven't kept any of them either.

By the way, my r/s was very happy with one of her Christmas presents. She got a Nikon digital camera from the people next door and the Mrs. gave her a lesson on how to use it including how to put pictures on the computer. Their little girl was here also and she was most unhappy because she wanted to go home so she could play with her toys. I pretty much slept through the whole thing.

I will be writing my next blog in a couple of weeks. This is just so you don't think that I forgot you or am going into hiding. My r/s has been busy over the Christmas holidays and hasn't been on the computer much. She will be busy now with taxes and so I won't have much help on typing from her.

I'll be writing again soon. If you wish to leave a comment here, please do so. Otherwise, you can leave a comment on Carriemaebr@aol.com. Happy New Year to all.

Love,
Carrie Mae, BR

Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit's Christmas 2007 Blog

2007-12-11T14:12:00.000-06:00

Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit saw a commercial on television about Santa Claus and his elves preparing to give away Mercedes-Benz automobiles, and was mightily impressed.

She just knew Santa had a bunny as a pet who probably did double duty as an elf at Christmas, so she decided to write a letter to Santa Bunny asking for a Mercedes-Benz.

The following is her letter:

Dear Santa Bunny,

I am writing you today to find out how you are feeling. I hope you are well and that all your Christmas wishes come true.

I have been a very good bunny all year. I try to use my poop pan, but sometimes accidents happen. I love my roomie/slave and she is real good to me. She gives me Triscuits sometimes--not enough, but then I jump on her, putting my front paws on her chest and my face an inch or two from her face, and threaten to bite her (sometimes accidents happen and she screams). She feeds the Triscuit to me. Triscuits are scored and she breaks the cracker into one-quarter inch pieces. She pets me while I eat. Sometimes I get carried away and upset with her because she takes too long to get to me. Unfortunately, in my haste to get the Triscuit, I sometimes do take a nip out of her. I am sorry for my impatience.

I have a good home. My roomie/slave gave me her chair. She covers it with old towels and a part of an old blanket. We call it my "throne." I also have a rabbit hole, which is really a cat condo, I guess. I destroyed the first one and she had to buy me another. Our neighbor assembled it as a favor for her. I also have a cage but do not use it very often. There is a gate to keep me out of certain rooms. I try to find a way to sneak in, especially to her bedroom. I run under the bed and sometimes she has a hard time reaching me and getting me out. I can be mischievous but still good in one way or another. My roomie/slave cannot make up her mind whether she wants to laugh or cry.

But all in all, I think I have been the best bunny rabbit in the whole wide world. Certainly, I am the one and only blogging rabbit and blogging can be hard on a creature such as myself.

I am a very good little bunny and I am writing to you now requesting a Christmas present. I know you must exist; that Santa Claus must have a bunny rabbit as a pet. I think you are all white with big floppy ears, and wear a red cap and red shawl.

Now I saw a commercial that showed Santa giving away Mercedes-Benz automobiles and I would like you to bring one out to me. The World's one and only blogging rabbit deserves a great car like this. Please write bck and say yes.

Love always,

Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit

* * * * *

Santa Bunny wrote back. Following is his letter to Carrie Mae:

Dear Carrie Mae,

I know you mean well and try very hard to be a good bunny. We know you realize you have a good home and a loving keeper. However, we regret to tell you that Santa cannot send you a Mercedes-Benz automobile. What you saw was a commercial done by the manufacturer of Mercedes-Benz automobiles and Santa Claus had nothing to do with it.

I am sorry to say that you are not on our "best" list either. You are on our "Naughty but Nice" list and that is only because even though you do mischief at every opportunity, your keeper loves you so much that she forgives you and wants the best for you.

We'd love to send you a nice gift, however, so write back and let us know what else you might want (that can fit in Santa's pack).

Your loving friend,

Santa Bunny

P.S. I also work hard. During the Christmas season, I help Santa and work with the other elves on presents for the children. However, the other elves can pretty much relax the rest of the year, although they do continue to make toys for children for the next Christmas. But, I have to do double duty as the Easter Bunny and I have to color and distribute eggs at Easter time.

* * * * *

Carrie Mae was most unhappy about this and wrote back. Following is her letter:

Dear Santa Bunny,

Well, I'm certainly surprised that a hard-working bunny like you wrote to me to turn me down on my Mercedes-Benz. However, I have seen commercials on TV advertising "Happy Honda Days" and would be willing to accept a Honda in place of the Mercedes-Benz.

Thank you and I'll see you on Christmas Eve. I'll leave a salad and a carrot or two for you.

Your loving friend,

Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit

* * * * *

Carrie Mae received the following response from Santa Bunny:

Dear Carrie Mae,

You are a persistent one, aren't you. The Honda was only used in commercials to get PEOPLE to buy Hondas. Santa Claus does not give away Mercedes-Benz or Hondas as presents on Christmas. Sorry. Now quit wasting my time, and if you write again, please request something that we can give you: no cars, buildings, money or stocks and bonds. These items are not acceptable.

Yours truly,

Santa Bunny

* * * * *

Carrie Mae wrote back:

Dear Santa Bunny,

I am sorry that I am confused about gifts that Santa Clause or you can bring to me. Please forget about the cars. I wouldn't be able to operate them anyhow. After a lot of thought, I want you to know that I have always enjoyed Willie Nelson's singing and I would like you to bring me Willie Nelson as a Christmas present. Please hear me out. I'm sure he would love to have an adoring fan like me smother him with kisses, etc., and he would not mind serenading me whenever I wanted him to sing.

Your grateful bunny,

Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit.

* * * * *

Santa Bunny read this letter and steam started coming out of his ears. He jumped high into the air and screamed, "Aargh." After a fit of jumping and screaming he took the letters, all of them, to Santa Clause and told Santa he was resigning as Santa Bunny.

"Oh, Santa Bunny, you're really needed. Please don't resign at this time. You must know we need every hand and paw we can get. Let me see those letters that have upset you so much."

Santa Bunny handed Santa Claus the three letters he received from Carrie Mae and also his replies to Carrie Mae.

Santa gave out a great big, "Ho! Ho! Ho! Now, Santa Bunny, you must have realized that this little self-indulgent whippersnapper is a nut case, and is not to be taken seriously. A resignation from your work here is not worth a hundred Carrie Mae's. I'll have to take this one under my own wing. Go take a nap now and forget all about this.

* * * * *

Carrie Mae received the following letter from Santa Claus.

My dear little friend, Carrie Mae,

My elf, Santa Bunny, brought me your letters to peruse. I want to take this opportunty to remind you to review the real meaning of Christmas. You might listen to a few of your keeper's Christmas carols. Indeed, one of my favorites is "It Came Upon the Midnight Clear."

This song touches me deeply; it describes in detail the angels singing of the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ, and the wish from "Heaven's all gratious King." It takes the listener through the life of Jesus even unto his walk to his eventual death that the prophets foretold. Yes, "the whole world" shall "send back the song, which ... the angels sing"--

"Glory to God in the highest, and peace on earth to men of good will. Alleluia. Alleluia."

You need to remember that is the reason we celebrate each 25th of December, because it is the birthday of Jesus.

Now you go to sleep, little bunny, and be thankful that you have a sweet keeper who loves you dearly and would give you almost anything that would make you happy. Why, you even have a pink cushion to place on your own "throne," but Jesus lay on the hay. I'll bet you eat hay but have never lain upon it. I'll be seeing you soon. You be good. And use that poop pan!

Ho. Ho. Ho. Merry Christmas to all.

Santa Clause

* * * * *

Carrie Mae was very quiet after reading Santa's letter. Why? She is very unhappy. She is thinking of what to request next year at Christmas.

* * * * *

Carrie Mae and her keeper (roomie/slave) want to take this opportunity to wish you and yours a very merry Christmas and a most happy and prosperous New Year.

You can leave a comment here or on Carriemaebr@aol.com.

Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit's Thanksgiving Blog

2007-11-20T15:10:00.001-06:00

What does a bunny have to be thankful for?

Remember, I was a shelter bunny, Animal #11139052, at the Animal Welfare League at 10305 Southwest Highway in Chicago Ridge, Illinois, adopted on May 25, 2005. But I learned how lucky I was even then. I had a good keeper who came and cleaned the cage that I shared with my offspring. He tickled my nose and since I was in the room called the store, children came and played with me and pointed at me and most of them wished I was their bunny.

Then my lady adopted me and took me home on Friday, May 27, 2005. I slept all that day until Saturday, May 28, 2005, at which time, I got up and began my new life. I am treated like royalty--which I am. I have a chair of hers which I took over and that chair is now called my throne.

I have a loving godmother, Mrs. Z., who gave advice and guidance to my lady until she could handle me on her own, and I admit, I can be a lot to handle.

I am fed well, green salads, fresh water, all the hay I can eat, and Triscuits as treats. Sometimes I get a sliver or two of apples or pears with my salad. All welcome.

I have a good doctor, Dr. Cory Loxtercamp at the Worth VCA Animal Hospital. He is very nice and treats me well. He cuts my nails and gives me whatever other care I need. He scolds me and my lady for giving me too much food and wants her to stop giving me Triscuits. But that is the only time I jump in her lap and she can pet me. Sometimes I get so excited from waiting for my treats, that when she brings them, in my anxiety, I bite her.

My lady has her friends that come over from time to time: her friend Carol, her cousin, Marilyn, and the lady next door, Ula and her little girl. There are also men who come over to fix things, and then there is Douglas, my nemesis. The Condo Board met here one night, and I cannot say much except I, on my throne, acted as Chairman. The stupid one, asked who was Carrie Mae at the end of the meeting. All in attendance looked surprised, looked down at and pointed to me, and said, "that's Carrie Mae."

As to eats, Thanksgiving must be one where almost all people eat turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, salad and vegetables and top it all off with pumpkin pie, or pecan pie, or something equally as big and fattening. As for me, I am strictly a vegetarian and will enjoy my hay, salads and (treats) and maybe a little newspaper or cardboard will fill the bill. (Dr. Cory said to keep these last two items away from me so I don't get sick.)

I am a happy and healthy bunny and take this opportunity to wish you and yours a Happy Thanksgiving. Don't forget to feed your squirrels and say a prayer for the poor turkey who gave up his life to feed you guys. Meditate for a moment on your good fortune and thank the Almighty for your blessings.

Note the three pictures, one of a turkey dinner, one of me dining and one of me on my throne.

Don't eat so much that you get sick.

Love from Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit and remember you can leave a comment here or drop me an e-mail at Carriemaebr@aol.com. Good bye now, and I love you all.

The Betrothal - Part II

2007-11-07T08:29:00.001-06:00

If you recall, last month I published The Betrothal - Part I, wherein Dickie and Tricksy were told they would have to pay a dowry by the Southwicke Den squirrels for the mating of his two beloved daughters, Comfy and Cozy, to Spick and Span, the babies of Bobo and Twinkle. Both Tricksy and Dickie were infuriated and the marriage discussion ended. Although Tricksy was upset, she calmed down during a visit to her sister, Pouf, and they drank some of Pouf's elderberry tea. Dickie, however, chose to drink Grampa Tommy's juniper berry homebrew.

Dickie finished the story and the following describes what happened the "morning after."

Dickie opened one beady eye half-way and squinted at the light. The sun was just showing on the horizon with unaccustomed glare. He scowled, shut his eye and put his forepaw over his eyes until his head fought back, causing him to yelp in pain. Dickie had the hangover to end all hangovers. At that time, the tree trunk trembled and Dickie was shaken awake from the pain which spread, kneading every muscle in his trim little body into bread dough. He howled "aargh," and rolled away. His whole body was shaking from an intruder. Oh, no, not another renegade red squirrel!

His forepaw shot out to the intruder with a vengeance. The intruder screamed and yelped "aargh" in a high-pitched whine that shot Dickie fully awake. When his poor little beady eyes finally focused, all his could see was his darling favorite daughter Cozy running away, but there was no other squirrels in sight. He could hear her screams but didn't understand why she was screaming. He pulled himself up and ran after her. When next he knew, little Cozy ws being shielded from him in the arms of his mate, Tricksy, who was waving a stick at him. "Get away from here, you rotten good-for-nothing drunk!"

To Tricksy and Cozy, they beheld a sight that was hardly that of the best looking squirrel on the southwest side. Dickie's eyes were half open, mere blood red slits. One ear drooped down over his right eye. He dragged his once magnificent shiny silver tail behind him like a dirty mop, leaving a trail in the dust. Worst of all his gray fur had turned yellow. His white chest was yellow, and he smelled like yesterday's chicken bones in the garbage.

Dickie slowly became aware of what he had done, that is, he hurt Cozy, who was the recipient of his angry swipe. Cozy had been trying to wake him up to play with her. Dickie was the most remorseful shamed squirrel that every hoped up and down and climbed trees in the whole of squirrel civilization. "Oh, God, please forgive me. Tricksy, please foregive me. You know it was an accident. Cozy, please say you forgive your daddy. I'll never touch Tommy's homebrew again, so help me."

"You worthless peanut shell, you'll never touch your daughter again! Baby Girl squirrel abuser!"

By now, little Cozy's aarghs had escalated to explosions equal to a neighborhood celebration of firecrackers on the Fourth of July and each one pierced Dickie's head until the worst possible thing happened. Dickie, poor creature, started going into Shock. Shock is sometimes deadly to little gray squirrels. It was a good thing that Pouf heard the commotion from outside and hurried into the den. "Stop it, both of you. You're about to lose our leader here. You know the demons in Tommy's homebrew got hold of him!"

Tricksy grabbed little Cozy and ran out, shushing her. Pouf brought in a walnut shell full of water and threw it on Dickie. Then she hurried and brought another shell full of water and made Dickie drink it down. Then she helped Dickie lie down and swabbed him with one of her oils. She held his head to one side while he threw up. She bathed him and washed the area, then while lying next to him, she crooned softly to Dickie and petted him on the head, while she fanned him with a large leaf. The little guy's chest finally stopped heaving and he fell asleep.

After dear Pouf cleaned up Dickie and the surrounding area she was very tired and limped out to find Tricksy and Cozy. On the way she ran into Grampa Tommy. She glared at him with all her might. When she calmed down, she noticed he had a couple of squirrels with him, male and female mates, and the ambitious Tommy was giving them a sales pitch about a new home. One of Tommy's many business ventures was real estate and it was acknowledged that to start a new den, a squirrel had to see Tommy before proceeding. Tommy was always on top of it!

Pouf would have given Tommy a piece of her mind, but for the couple, and her worn out condition. Instead she skulked off to find Tricksy and Cozy. Cozy had already forgotten about the incident involving her father and was playing happily with her sister Comfy, chasing bugs. Tricksy had calmed down but was anxious about Dickie.

"Dickie's all right now, and he probbly won't remember the incident. I think he'll remember being sick and dirtying himself, however. You know how Dickie is about his appearance. I think it bet that Cozy does not see her dad right now. Dickie is pretty out of it and that's a good sign. I guess they'll be no more talk about betrothals for the girls for a long time."

"I'll bring the girls in through the fire exit, if you'll go back and open it up."

"I'm sorry, but I'm really exhausted. I'll get Pumpkinhead or Crow to help you. See you later. I'm going to lie down myself."

"Okay, Pouf. Thank you for taking care of Dickie."

I the meantime, Tommy was looking very pleased with himself. He had made the sale of a used squirrel den in a tree about a quarter-mile from this very den for the price of one hundred walnuts payable over time. A couple from the South by the names of Perky Petunia and Skipper Sycamore were the purchasers of the property. Although it needed some cleaning up, it was suitable for a family of mom and dad and a single daughter, named Cookie Gardenia. He had promised the couple to keep them on his proposed list if something came on the market when their family expanded and they needed more space. In the meantime, they had seen the den and agreed that it was more than they had expected. Everyone was satisfied.

The couple had to relocate due to loss of all home and property because of Hurricane Katrina. They all spoke with southern accents. They had hopped on a freight train headed north and decided on the Chicago area.

Tommy has angry at his son Dickie who was stretched out blocking part of the living quarters of thie Stony Ridge Creek Den. The couple had heard that the southwest side alpha squirrel lived in this den and they had looked forward to meeting him with great anticipation. They frowned upon nearly tripping over this worthless souse that was too wasted to swat the flies that buzzed and circled around his head and the maggot that crawled on his closed eyelid. Tommy apologized and said probably every larger den had its resident drunk. He apologized again that the alpha squirrel was out of the den today, but promised that next time, they would meet him. Tommy was an accomplished thief, but shame caused him to add lying to his repetoire.

Pouf said Dickie was ill and he should be excused. Dickie certainly looked terrible. Tommy wondered why. He knew Dickie had been drinking juniper berry beer last night, but he didn't connect it to Dickie's sorry condition today. Why should Tommy understand? Tommy never drank. He had too many hughely successful business ventures to waste his time and brain on any frivolous diversions that didn't pay off.

That evening, Dickie awoke and crawled back to his area of the den. He was aware that Tricksy was nowhere to be seen. The two baby girl squirrels were gone as well. "I'll never drink again," Dickie groaned out loud.

Dickie stayed inside the den alone for another day and night. Someone was leaving him some water, sunflower nuts and peanut butter cookies. He guessed it was Pouf. On the third day Dickie arose before sunup, did stretches and then hit the road to the Condominium for some real food. He stomped on the lady's storage cases, clicked his claws on her balcony window, paced back and forth, making as much racket as he could, until he could see her ambling her way toward the balcony. She was still wearing a white nightgown and her hair was a mess. Dickie guessed he had succeeded in waking her. He quickly jumped on the big balcony screen door and climbed to the top. This always worked on getting her to open up the big glass sliding door.

After that she would get some walnut and wait for him to climb down. He would wait by the door for her to throw a walnut in the air for him to catch. It was a game he knew she liked to play with him only. She would applaud if he caught the nut on the fly. He was adept at all games; Dickie was a playful cheerful little squirrel that was hardly ever solemn. He would rather have foregotten the games today, however. Since he lost his family, he was not all that cheeerful, but he was a clever conniver and knew he had to play up to the lady.

The game proceeded for one round. He took the nut, ran up to the roof to eat, while she put fresh water in the water dish, and filled another larger dish with corn, sunflower seeds, soy nuts, dog biscuits (what an insult!) and then threw down a good handful of walnuts. "Okay, Dickie, come and get it. Come later tomorrow. I don't want you waking me up. Where's Tricksy?"

Dickie came down and ate heartily of all the walnuts, ate some corn-on-the cob, took several drinks of water and then decided he needed a trip to the gym for a workout and then a shower at the health spa (which was a hugh greenhouse and plant nursery nearby). Dickie hadn't paid a visit to Duke's for a long time, but he now headed there with great anticipation. He still needed to work off some steam, especially since his mate was mad enough to desert him and take his children. Not to worry too much, he thought, she'll be back!

Dickie wanted to be at Duke's just after the manager opened the outer doors for the staff, but before the customers were allowed in. So saying, he hid behind a bush until the greenhouse manager put the key in the lock and opened the door. He followed swiftly and he was sure she was not even aware that he had entered the establishment.

Later that day, three events need to be documented here. One was that Tricksy spotted a new squirrel in the neighborhood, she stopped eating and dropped her walnut, which squirrels do not do! The two baby girl squirrels were nearby playing and chattering. Tricksy was dumbfounded to spot the most handsome squirrel she had seen since she didn't remember when. His fur gleamed and glistened in the early morning sun with golden highlights. But the tail! Oh, my! Silver and gold! The squirrel that jumped and bounded gleefully nearby from tree to tree, headed her way. Maybe it was good she had deserted Dickie, the worthless drunken bum. Now the squirrel was close enough for her to gasp in amazement. It looked like...it was! Dickie! He was the squirrel she had fallen in love with two seasons ago.

"Tricksy, it is I, Dickie. Will you let me back in, sweatheart? I love you."

Well, you can guess how the rest of the day and night went for Dickie and Tricksy and the children. It was a fabulous reunion.

By the way, another cause for celebration for the squirrels of Stony Ridge Creek Den happened that night. The young couple, Petunia and Skipper, that had purchased real estate from Tommy came back with the down payment and asked if the alpha squirrel was home. Tommy led them back to where Dickie and Tricksy were cheeing sweet nothings in each other's ears. Dickie excused himself and greeted the new arrivals expansively. Before they left, they mentioned to a beaming Tommy that Dickie indeed was the most handsome squirrel they had ever laid eyes on and the two baby girl squirrels were adorable.

You probably would never guess the other events which took place at Duke's Greenhouse shortly before Dickie and Tricksy started their love affair all over. An angry greenhouse manager snorted, "Oh, no. Not that squirrel! Don't tell me he's back again. I'm putting a price on that squirrel's head."

The manager nailed a handbill onto the wall near the outer entrance to the greenhouse. Other workers were nailing handbills in various places in the greenhouse. "Wanted: Squirrel. Answers to the name of Dickie, a/k/a Little Dickie. REWARD. Inquire within." A picture of a gray squirrel (not Dickie) had been copied onto the handbills. Tehre was no resemblance between the ordinary squirrel pictured on the greenhouse and the magnificent one now nipping playfully at his mate's ear. When customers saw the handbill, of course, they asked the employees of the greenhouse what had happened. The angry employees had been cleaning up for an hour or more. They needed to get it off the chest and so the employees detailed the viciousness of the squirrel's attack on the greenhouse.

Dickie had bitten into most of the sacks of seeds and corn and bits and pieces were littered around the sacks. Little bites and tears could be seen on the leaves of many plants that had been sampled.

When Dickie was just about ready to leave, he had taken a cold shower in the garden waterfall and pond and little black specks and gray fuzz floated dismally near the banks of the pond. Duke's had an indoor pond complete with waterfall and fish. There were rocks around the waterfall and many tropical plants. When the employees went further through the area of the tropical plants, it was noted that Dickie had been digging in nearly every potted plant, many stems and branches had been broken and potting soil was strewn in the aisles, showing the trail of destruction.

The employees' nerves were even more frazzled when they head the birds. Duke's was home to a total of seven tropical birds: one had a green body, yellow and orange ruff and a black bill; bird number two had a green body, a gray ruff, a black bill and a long marroon tail; another bird, a little bigger than the others had a green body, green head, orange bill and a long aqua tail.

Joseph, a/k/a Bugsy, was multi-colored with a green and black body, red and blue head and an orange bill. Since this bird was very friendly and curious, Dickie left it alone. Joseph liked to play with the people and he received excellent care. It was only the boredom that bothered him, so Joseph seemed very happy with the excitement Dickie was causing. There were also two small, very pretty yellow and gray birds with combs of deeper yellow with black tails, that Dickie thought were pretty and looked to be in love, so Dickie didn't harass them.

The bird that Dickie zeroed in on was a large green parrot. It had a yellow head with aqua patches, a black bill and a few orange and yellow feathers here and there. It screamed and spit and swore at Dickie and demanded freedom. "Come over here and unlock this cage," it screeched. Dickie didn't like any bird that big demanding anything of him and therfore, he was ruthless in his assault on this poor bird.

It was the cries of the birds, screaming and croaking their anger and threatening revenge on their keepers that had alerted the greenhouse employees that the perpetrator of the vandalism was still on the property. They came running to the source of the noise in time to see Dickie on top of the parrot's cage, squirting the bird. However, now Dickie was all through and ready to leave. He bolted through the open door and ran for home.

"It took us an hour to calm our parrot and the other birds down. But Joseph was as happy a bird in captivity as I've ever seen."

"But," the employees groaned, "they wouldn't think of harming the squirrel. After all, it's against the law to kill a squirrel!"

So ended Dickie's tale of the dowry and betrothal of his two young daughters.

*****

If you wish, leave a comment here or you can reach me at my e-mail address: Carriemaebr@aol.com. Thank you.

Carrie Mae's Halloween Blog - 2007

2007-10-27T14:39:00.000-05:00

This is my special Halloween blog. I hope all of you enjoy it.

When fall comes around, I can tell my roomie/slave feels better about life. She starts out buying apples and gives me a sliver or two with my salad. I like apples. It makes me more hungry smelling them on the coffee table where r/s keeps them in a glass bowl, along with pears (also, one of my favorite delicacies). The whole apartment takes on a different look. She opens the vertical blinds and we can enjoy the glorious colors of autumn, gold and yellow and red mixed with the deep green of the evergreen trees.

She decorates the balcony. This year, a raven is fastened to the rail; red and gold leaves trail along the balcony rail; and funkins lay on the balcony floor. (Funkins are false styrofoam pumpkins). There is a small galvanized bucket with wax applies; and a scattering of gourds. This year's special addition was bunting of three bats put on the rails. In the past, there have been ghosts crawling up the rails and orange candles in luminaria, spider webs and other Halloween decorations.

The squirrels jump over all of the junk and get to their pan of food.

My r/s hates every other season, I think, but fall. She belongs to a Social Club called SAS and this year they were hosting a Halloween party, which my r/s was going to attend in costume, of course. She decided on Ugly Betty.

My r/s went out with her Social Club and left me all alone on Saturday, October 27th. I noticed through the open balcony blinds that there was a full moon.

"I'll be back before the witching hour, I think," my r/s advised as she headed out the door.

I was lonely and disgusted. What's a poor bunny to do when I can't annoy my r/s by pooping outside my poop pan and getting into things she treasures.

When is the witching hour? I think I'll Google it. I found out that midnight is said to be the witching hour; the time when witches allegedly appear.

I amused myself by conjuring up questions and answers with the various decorations on the balcony:

Pumpkin:

CM: If a pumpkin could talk, what would it say to Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit?

PK: Don't eat me!

CM: You're already dead. You're just a plant. You died when they cut you off your vine.

PK: Please don't cut me!

CM: You shuld be happy to become a Jack-o-lantern. You were originally cut with fiendish faces to scare away the evil spirits that roam around on Halloween.

PK: Please don't cut me!

CM: Why?

PK: Ouch! It would hurt!

CM: Wimpy! Wimpy! Wimpy!

Bats:

CM: If the bat bunting on the balcony could talk, what would the bats say?

BAT: Please touch me, touch me, touch me.

CM: No. It is bad to touch bats. They carry rabies, a terrible disease.

BAT: Wimpy! Wimpy! Wimpy!

Ghosts:

CM: If ghosts could talk, what would they say?

GH: Boo!

CM: There is no such thing as a ghost.

GH: Then what am I?

CM: An undigested piece of Triscuit. Whatever you are, beat it!

Black Cats:

CM: If black cats coud talk, what would they say?

CAT: Why am I a symbol of bad luck?

CM: You were a witch's familiar. A familiar is "an attendant spirit (often of a witch or evil entity), often taking animal form." A long time ago, it was thought that witches could turn themselves into black cats. When people saw a black cat, they believed it was a witch in disguise.

CAT: The squirrels here hate me.

CM: So do I. Beat it!

Ravens:

RV: Why are ravens associated with Halloween?

CM: Because they are evil. In the middle ages, a raven's caw was an omen of death. To the Native American, the raven has the character and quality of a shape shifter, a being that is able to change form or identity at will. It's a mythical figure that can assume different forms of animals.

RV: Crow Squirrel likes me.

CM: As far as Crow Squirrel is concerned, he's just kinda dumb and lonely.

RV: I am a nice birdie!

CM: Okay, birdie, I believe you. Now fly away. "Bye, bye, black bird!"

Halloween:

CM: And, why does Halloween have such a history of bad spirits and mischief? Halloween is "All Hallowed's Eve" and the real answer goes back to pagan rituals celebrating All Saints Day, November 1st. There were two important feasts celebrated by the Celts and their priests, called Druids. They called Halloween Samhain and believed it was a time when the division between the spirit world and the real world was thin and ghosts and spirits were free to wander the earth. Spirits of the dead could rise out of their graves and wander with the living.

I want to mention here that my r/s has a friend named Doug who lives in San Diego and many fires have occurred there this fall. He said he is safe because his home is in the middle of the City. The following information is for Doug.

The Celtics performed sacrifices to placate their gods. The bonfire, which represented the sun, was used to fight the dark powers. The term bonfire comes from "bone fire" because the bones of sacrifices were piled in a field and set afire.

Doug said he missed the smell of bonfires in the midwest but after the threat of fires so close to him, he warned us "be careful what you wish for."

In reality, Halloween is nothing. Just for children to get candy by going to homes and calling "trick or treat." Bah!

* * * * *

After a time, I got tired and bored with this banter with myself and closed my eyes.

When I sit to show anger, it is like I have a rod up my butt, but it soon became too hard to keep this position and so I did a bunny flop (and almost fell off my throne) and got some beauty sleep (not that I need it, mind you)! I then went into a kind of a meditative trance, half asleep, half awake.

I was confortably dreaming of falling into a vat of Triscuits, when of a sudden, I was awakened with a start by some sort of racket.

Oooohhh. Yeeeeee! Schrree!

I never heard such a loud moaning nor such a blood curdling shrieking cry.

Opening my eyes, I sat bolt upright and saw a ghostly apparition, or at least I knew something was coming at me.

It was the funkin/pumpkin that my r/s had on the balcony. Only, now it was enlarged and the full moon shone on it. It had Indian corn for teeth and was grinning. It was not a funny grin, but was hideous, ominously warning of terrible things to come.

PK: So! You would cut me? Ah? Let's see how you take to having your eyes cut out, your mouth cut out with square teeth.

I jumped from my throne and ran under the coffee table and under the couch. I stayed hidden under the couch until the room stayed quiet. Then I peeked out and the apparition had disappeared. I was still shaking when I crawled out and jumped back on my throne.

Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh.

A whooshing sound of winds. Then out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement coming from my right. It originated at the far wall above the old Magnavox stereo. I turned my head to the right to face the direction of the whooshing sound. The room was dark and everything I saw was blurry and out of focus. I stared at the wall where my r/s had hung an original watercolor done by a local artist in Prince Edward Island, Canada, some years back.

It depicted an old deserted ramshackle house shown in the distance. A brief description of the artist and the picture was given to her at the galery. Apparently, this house was soon to be torn down. The picture was certainly spooky, painted by the light cast from the full moon. The moonlight was reflected in a recent snowfall and the ravens were in the foreground flying across the snow-covered terrain toward the house.

Good God, these ravens now appeared to have changed direction and were flying out of the picture and headed over to the living room and toward me!

The ravens now circled the front room flying over the loveseat, then above the couch and around to the front of the balcony windows, and back, in an aimless circle.

Pling. Pling. Pling.

I heard a pecking noise and there was the raven that my r/s had affixed to the rail with cable fasteners beating on the glass with its yellow beak. I screamed.

Caw! Caw! Caw!

I jumped from the throne once more and ran for safety under the couch.

RV: So, you don't like ravens, huh?

CM: Oh, but I really do like ravens.

RV: Wimpy! Wimpy! Wimpy!

That ghastly picture that my r/s liked so much was highlighted by a full moon seen through dark clouds. Once again, I noticed that tonight there was a full moon. It is called the "Hunter's Moon." The Hunter's Moon, occurring in October, is also known as the Blood Moon. It was celebrated as a feast day among some Native American tribes. With trees barren of leaves, and the deer fattened, it was the ideal time to hunt. The fields had been reaped and the hunters could easily see animals which had come out to gather grain left by the farmers. Animals such as me? Oh, no. I ran for cover the under the couch again.

The monsters then started to close in.

I prayed for the return of my r/s who is my protector. But I am really afraid if the witching hour is bad, then, what if she returns as a witch. Where does that leave me?

Just then I heard r/s returning. I am frozen in fear. She left as "Ugly Betty," but will she return as a witch.

"Well, here I am," I hear her say, and I'll play it up on Carrie Mae. Ha. Ha. Ha. Boo!"

The boo resounded through the house. I felt like I was going into shock. I know she's had a few drinks, but is not really drunk. "Carrie Mae," she calls out to me.

I'm still hiding.

"Play it up," r/s says aloud. "Boo!" This time she screamed her boo.

Then I go crazy and run all around the couch.

"What's wrong, sweety? Don't be afraid, it's just me, your roomie/slave and I left the party early. It's not even midnight yet."

Slowly I creep out and look around.

My r/s is holding out a Triscuit for me. I jump on her lap, happy she is here. She still looks like "Ugly Betty."

And, the monsters have all disappeared.

I know one thing for sure, I'll never discount Halloween again.

* * * * *

I hope you enjoyed this story and that you were properly scared. I used "Halloween" Its Origins and Customs," (http://www.jeremiahproject.com/Halloween/html, and "Hunter's Moon" from Wikipedia, as sources for information on Halloween.

Any comments, please leave here, or on my e-mail, Carriemaebr@aol.com. Thank you and have a Happy Halloween!

The Betrothal - Part One

2007-10-05T12:12:00.000-05:00

I'm a Cub fan and when roomie/slave watched the White Sox in the World Series, I'd crawl in my cage (and you know I hate to be in the cage) and go to sleep. Well, now its my turn. GO, CUBS!

Dickie came around today and told me the story of the arrangement of his two daughters in marriage. He told me this happened a couple of years ago. He liked reminiscing of times past. He said his tail-mate, Tricksy, had recently delivred two new baby squirrels, a boy and a girl, and named them Nutter and Butter, respectively.

This is Part One of Dickie's story:

Dickie said he had been concerned about his two beautiful daughters, Comfy and Cozy. He wanted to be sure that they had a happy home life when they became adults. He didn't want them getting mixed up with the likes of Horseface, Dingbat or Bodda, Bodda, Bing. These three had been hanging around on the pretext of looking for Crow, Pouf's teenage son. Crow was forbidden to talk to the three young hoodlums and he didn't mind in the least after his capture in the cat lady's trap. (See my blog, entitled: "Crow, The Typical Teenager.") Dickie chased them away from Stony Ridge Creek Den, his home. He saw the three punks paying altogether too much attention to his baby girl squirrels. Dickie was perhaps over reactive, but he didn't care. He gave the situation a lot of thought and one day, he told his mate, Tricksy, the girl squirrel's mother, that they had to have a private conversation about the girls' future.

Tricksy didn't like the look on Dickie's face, and knew something was in the offing that might not sit well with her and her two baby girls. She knew Dickie well enough to know that lately he was more reserved than she had ever seen him. Dickie was usually playful and effusive in his day-to-day activities. Dickie had been away for a whole afternoon and was very secretive about where he was during his absence. Something was preying on his mind, and he seemed overly protective of the girl squirrels. One day after their afternoon romp, when Dickie and Tricksy usually napped, Dickie motioned to Tricksy, and they sat down together on a branch high above the Creek in order to be alone. Auntie Pouf was babysitting the girls until they returned home.

"Tricksy, I have watched the three punks eyeballing our girls and I don't like it."

"Well, Dickie, I don't like it either, but I don't think we can really do anything about it. The girls don't pay attention to those goons. Crow shags them off now and eventually, they will probably give up coming around and leave us all alone."

"No, Tricksy, I have a bad feeling in my stomach about those three. A gut feeling, you might say, like cramps before diarrhea."

"Oh, now, Dickie, let's not speak that harshly. After all, Crow was mixed up with them, and he straightened out. It's not uncommon behavior for boy squirrels of that age to misbehave. I remember when you were about his age and, by the way, I heard a thing or two about you as well."

"What? What are you saying, female tail mate?"

"You heard me. You were a bit of a mischievous rascal yourself."

"Well, that was a long time ago. But I have to tell you about the meeting I had earlier this week with another den of squirrels down around Southwicke Road."

"Yes."

"I met a squirrel named Digger who told me he lived in the 'Southwicke Prairie' Den. The chief of that den recently had a litter of babies, which include one girl squirrel and two boy squirrels. The girl, Sparkle, is quite intelligent and shows definite signs of becoming an alpha in her day. However, for our purposes, the most significant members of the litter were the two baby boy squirrels, named Spick and Span. Digger invited me to come to Southwicke Den and see Spick and Span for myself and talk to their parents, Bobo and Twinkle. I was very impressed. Spick and Span had excellent breeding and showed excellent bearing. Their heads and tails were carried high, and they were perky and playful. They had good formation and very strong hind quarters. I talked at length with their parents out of the hearing of the three youngsters, who, of course, were very curious about what was being said. At length we came upon an agreement that if you should come out and see them and feel the same as I do, we might arrange a betrothal to our baby girl squirrels, Comfy and Cozy, when the girls come of age."

Dickie then turned to Tricksy. Tricksy's eyes grew wide. Dickie became frightened over her appearance and scampered off to get water. He splashed cold water from an empty walnut shell on Tricksy. Tricksy sounded her objections loud and clear. "What have you done? What are you talking about? We have two babies, nothing more. Have you promised them out to spend their adult life with "people soap."?

"Don't be silly, Tricksy. I told you Spick and Span are the names of the two baby boy squirrels, not people soap. I don't think you need to act so hoity-toity about this. I want the best for them and I bet you'll change your mind when you see the two boys."

"Okay, Dickie, if you say so, I won't argue. I'm not trying to be stuck up. But if the girls fall for a squirrel of their choosing and don't want to live life with the "soap suds" kids, you've got to let them off the hook."

"I will, Tricksy, I will."

A couple of days later, it turned warm and sunny. After Tricksy groomed herself,licking her tail all the way to its tip, and licking her fist and running it across her face, and rubbing her fur until it glistened, she allowed Dickie to lead the way to the Southwicke Den. The couple was greeted by Digger who led them over to the hollow tree that housed Bobo and his mate Twinkle and their children, Sparkle, Spick and Span. The group sat down. Twinkle had saved good nut meats for the occasion and Digger and Bobo brought in an ample amount of water. The children had been extensively coached and groomed. They sat upright, somewhat rigidly, looking for approval. The children didn't know what the adults had in mind, but they were excited nonetheless. Company was out of the ordinary in squirrel life and they knew something big was going on.

Dickie and Tricksy presented their hosts with the food they had brought, as is only fit and proper in squirrel society. After the group had eaten and drank, and were comfortable, Twinkle turned to the three children and told them to go play because the adults wanted to talk. The children left the are, but Twinkle could see the head of the little girl squirrel Sparkle peeping around the corner. She excused herself and chased Sparkle away to play elsewhere out of hearing.

Tricksy had changed her mind about the betrothal since the two boy squirrels definitely were uncommonly handsome, playful and friendly with bright clear eyes, a sign of squirrel intelligence. Tricksy had relaxed after the meal and when Dickie and Bobo began discussing the mating of the children, she listened eagerly. Her eagerness turned to dismay within a very short time, however.

"What about the dowry," Bobo asked. "Dickie, what are you planning to bring into the union?"

Dickie's head shot back and then forward. He turned to Tricksy for help. He had only a smidgeon of knowledge as to the meaning of the word, "dowry," but believed it meant paying for the girls' marriage to the family of the boys.

Tricksy, now on high alert, became indignant immediately. "That's something that people do, not squirrels. Why our girl squirrels are the best on the southwest side, if not the entire county, and they don't need to be sold to the highest bidder. They speak for themselves."

Twinkle, then raised her voice. "Squirrels in the Southwicke area are a cut above other squirrels and we believe that a dowry is our right of privilege. Furthermore, there are other girl squirrels that we are considering. We have already seen a set of twins named 'Fine and Dandy' and tomorrow we will meet the parents of 'Bright and Shiny.' I've heard there are also newborns named 'Sugar and Spice' and'Near and Dear' which we would consider to be on 'stand-by' in case we do not complete the current arrangements now pending.

Dickie gently nudged Tricksy, whose eyes were glowing like red coals. "Nice to have met you all. Your children are indeed beautiful. Come on, Tricksy, we're going home."

When Tricksy saw her two beautiful little girl squirrels, she immediately ran over to them and embraced them. She could not conceal the tears in her eyes. Pouf saw the situation and stared at Tricksy. If the betrothal arrangement was not agreed by the parties, and since Tricksy was against it in the first place, what could have upset her so much now?

"Mommy, what's wrong. It is I, Comfy, and I love you."

"Mommy, what's wrong. It is I, Cozy, and I love you."

"Mommy loves you too, girls. Would you mind staying with Auntie Pouf for just a little while longer?"

Auntie Pouf led the children away to their play area, and as children do, they soon got interested in playing their favorite game, Mirror Image.

Late that evening after the girls were put to bed, Auntie Pouf wanted to hear the whole story. Obviously, she was horrified that the Southwicke squirrels had wanted a dowry on top of having the two most beautiful girl squirrels on the southwest side. She told her sister Tricksy to forget it and enjoy the babies while they were so young. The girls would find a couple of handsome boy squirrels in due time and maybe leave home.

Tricksy wrung her hands in anguish. "I don't know what will happen if they want to go away. I love them so dearly."

"Dear, you must be prepared to allow the girls to mate when of age, as our mothers allowed us. It breaks my heart that any squirrels should believe that you must pay for the little ones to do what is natural and intended. I know Dickie is upset too. He's out drinking Grampa Tommy's juniper berry homebrew. I hope he doesn't try showing off with any funcy jumping! Forget about the "soap suds" kids and let the girls find their own mates."

"I know you're right. Would you go get Dickie to come here. I'm worried about him, drinking that vile swill of Tommy's."

"Sure, you make us some elderberry tea and we can relax. The people across the fence got a plastma hdtv and we can see it from here. Their kid likes to watch the Animal Planet Channel. We get to entertain our brains, too."

"Pouf, dear, you always know how to comfort us and help us with our problems."

Pouf sadly lowered her head to one side and wondered why she couldn't come up with the answers to her own problems so easily.

* * * * *

Well, there is more to this story, but you'll have to wait until next month for the conclusion. You can leave a Comment here or on my e-mail address of Carriemaebr@aol.com.

I will be watching the Cubs in the World Series and you won't hear from me until the end of October, when you can read my special Halloween blog.

In the meantime, GO CUBS!

Crow, The Typical Teenager

2007-09-24T15:01:00.001-05:00

Things finally got back to normal after our "vacation." Dickie and Tricksy came around. Pouf came around and brought her son Crow.

You might be wondering how Crow got his name. He was first seen on the third floor balcony of the lady's apartment one Halloween. The lady had put up a scary raven bird and fastened it to the rail with plastic cables. The raven had realistic-looking black feathers and a yellow beakk

Since it was pretty scary, the lady watched for the reactions of her squirrels, anticipating fear. Most of the squirrels came, jumped on the rail, saw the raven and then started backing up, or they jumped down and ran back up to the roof. Then Dickie came. He looked at the raven and approached it and stood near it, neither afraid nor curious about it. It seems that Dickie knew exactly what it was: a decoration along with the rest of the stuff on the balcony. After that, he sometimes posed for photographs near the raven.

Then one Saturday afternoon, a group of squirrels came down from the roof. One of the squirrels was small, obviously young, probably what would be considered a teenager. The squirrel looked at the big bird but was not afraid. No, not afraid at all. Crow went up to the raven and started kissing it! It appeared he wanted to play with the bird. He kept biting and picking at the cables that held it securely to the balcony rail in order to free it so it could play with him. The lady named the newcomer Crow. Crow liked that name and took it for his own.

Crow was not a bad squirrel, not at all. Thanks to Pouf, his mother, he had good upbringing. He was just pesky. He still wanted to play like a child but sometimes he wanted to be treated like an adult. He became frustrated and upset when he was not getting attention by the older squirrels. Sometimes he wanted to play with the Comfy and Cozy, the baby girl squirrels in his den, but they were too fragile and delicate to wrestle with him and his mother Pouf always chased him away. However, he really fell in love with the babies, from the time little Cozy looked up and saw him and smiled at him, and then Comfy did the same. After that, he was smitten. Crow was just at that gawky age and until he passed it, he could be a piece of work.

Crow started hanging out with a few other teenagers that were not as well-meaning as him. They were equally frustrated and angry but they took up bad ways. His friends were called Dingbat; Bodda, Bodda, Bing; and Horseface. Of these three, Horseface was the meanest, raunchiest, and nastiest. He was ill-mannered and selfish. Bodda, Bodda, Bing's motto was "fight first, think later" and his favorite pastime was bullying any creatures younger and smaller. Dingbat was just plain stupid and lazy.

One day, Horseface decided that the gang needed more recognition. He decided they would hang out all day long at the local high school, for as many days as it took, until he understood the manner of dress of the young students. After a time, it appeared that most of them had baggy jeans, tee shirts and a cap worn backwards. Horseface asked Crow to find out what the squirrel known as Grampa Tommy would do if he wanted to get the same clothes in squirrel sizes. (Grampa Tommy was a notorious thief.)

Grampa Tommy told Crow that if he were to get these types of wearing appearel, he would do one of two things or maybe both. Tommy knew a store at the Mall that sold clothes in a very small size. (This was a toy store that sold dolls and doll clothes.)

First, he would get inside the Mall by scurrying through customers' legs. Then he would hide until the guard locked up for the night. He would select his items, try them on for size, take them before the store closed, and then wait near the entrace, until the Mall walkers started coming in. It could be tricky but he would exit when people left the Mall by again scurrying through their legs. He would be wearing his new clothes. He didn't believe Crow should try this as it was risky.

Another method took time and patience. He would find children playing with dolls and wait until they left the doll unattended and then steal the doll and the clothes. He told Crow that this was his preferred method, assuming the doll was wearing the type of clothes that were wanted, and he enjoyed seeing the children's surprise when their dolls were missing. Somethimes the children were scolded for hiding or losing their possessions. He said this method was often good for a second visit, since the parents often bought brand new dolls with brand new clothes to replace the missing items. Tommy was an accomplished thief.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Although Dickie told me how the boys got their clothes, I will not tell you readers. I believe in "See No Evil; Hear No Evil; and Speak No Evil.

After Horseface and the gange got the appropriate costumes they coveted, Horseface decided it was time to fulfill their ambitions. One of the things Horseface had been wanting to do since hanging around Crow's territory was to make a fool of the black cat that lives on the first floor of the Condominium. Crow and the others backed him up fully. They all hated the lady with the cat because she always chased them and shook a broom at them whenever they climbed the building near to her door. Plus, she expected her stupid cat to chase them as well. The squirrels believed all cats are stupid and so it would be simple to get the beast to follow the squirrels up a tree. All the squirrels laughed heartily at the simplicity of Horseface's plot and set out to the Condominium to wait until the owner of the cat let it out to run around for exercise and fresh air.

On the day that the lady let her cat loose, the squirrels were ready and as soon as the lady ducked inside the house for a moment, they jumped from the trees, encircled the cat and jumped up and down. Bodda, Bodda, Bing even jumped on the cat's back. The cat was furious. It hissed. It snarled. It spit. An instant later, it started chasing Dingbat Squirrel up a tree.

Dingbat was a good climber, so he was the primary bait for the cat. Dingbat climbed one tree and the other squirrels chose their tree and watched. Once the cat got to a high branch, Dingbat leapt to the tree next to it, turned around, and simply climbed straight down. A cat couldn't climb down a tree, and so it was left on that high branch, meowing piteously for its owner-mama to come get it.

When the lady saw her cat up in the tree and the squirrels nearby wearing their baggy jeans, tee shirts, caps with the brims over their eyes, all making "cheeing" noises, she knew what had happened and she was furious.

Suffice it to say because of this escapade, the Fire Department was dispatched to the site. The squirrels watched the whole thing from their lady's balcony on the third floor while they ate nus. Crow and his friends believed that they had scored "big."

When Crow came around a couple of days later to check on the cat in the window and make faces at it, there was a strange-looking addition next to that window. If curiousity kills cats, it doesn't do well for squirrels either. Curiosity may be the downfall of cats and squirrels. Crow started playing with the contraption in order to get inside it. Crow was resourceful and succeeded in getting it, but he soon found he was trapped and couldn't get out!

"Aargh, Aargh, Aargh," Crow lamented, hoping his friends would hear him. If they did, they made no attempt to help him.

Crow cried so loud that in a short time, the cat owner came out and stood outside the contraption and laughed. "ho. Ho. Ho. Hee. Haw." She kicked at the trap and took a stick and started hitting Crow. "Aargh, Aargh. Aargh," Crow cried out.

The newcomer to Stony Ridge Creek den, Pumpky (short for Pumpkinhead) and Grampa Tommy were eating at the lady balcony on the third floor, and upon hearing the commotion, went down and took a look.

"We've got to help him and get him free. Hurry," Pumpky cheed excitedly.

Tommy raced back to the den and prayed that Dickie was still there, making love to Tricksy or playing with his baby girl squirrels, Comfy and Cozy. Lucky for Crow, Dickie was at home at that time. Grampa Tommy quickly explained the situation to Dickie and the two squirrels raced back to Pumpky, who was giving Crow support.

Dickie was the only squirrel that could possibly free Crow. Dickie was able to figure out how to open screen doors, garbage cans, storage containers, and the like. Dickie was really the cleverist of all the squirrels and that is why he was voted in as the "alpha" male squirrel. Dickie was sure if he had enough time, he could free Crow.

It was down to the wire when Pumpky came back and reported seeing men in uniform talking to the cat owner at her front door. Pumpky overheard the words, "cage" and "squirrel" and he knew. The men went back into the truck, drove it to the parking lot in back, and were now putting gloves on. One of the men carried a stick with a noose at one end. The men were approaching the building rapidly.

"Look at those squirrels. What do they think they're doing?"

"Chee, Chee, Chee, Chee, Chee, Chee." Dickie gave hurried instructions to Tommy, Pumpky and Crow.

Tommy jumped on top of the cage as Dickie had told him to do. Dickie made one last maneuver around the lock on the door of the cage and it sprung open. Tommy grabbed the door in his mouth and jumping up, got it open, while Crow dashed out to freedom Dickied hopped back down and raced away. Tommy jumped down from the top of the trap and he too raced away along with Pumpky.

"Well, I'll be. Those other squirrels got him loose," one of the men gasped in amazement.

The cat owner who called them in threw up her hands in disgust. "You're letting them get away."

The men started running, chasing the squirrels. Dickie, Tommy and Pumpky raced to the nearest tree. Each of the squirrels bolted up a tree. Crow was already long gone. It was soon apparent to the men that they would never catch any squirrels that day.

"Doggone. What are we going to tell our boss? We can't say we saw a squirrel unlock the cage! Our boss would think we were nuts or we let the squirrel go!"

"We'll just say they should check the cage. It must be broke because the squirrel got out before we could reach it. All we know is that the squirrel got loose."

* * * * *

Later, Dickie was seen patiently sitting cracking some nuts (a job usually handled by his mate Tricksy) while waiting for Crow to return to the den. Eventually, Crow came home and upon seeing Dickie, Crow sheepishly put his head down and looked contrite.

"Well, young Tail, you are one lucky squirrel to have such loyal den mates. And where were your friends?"

"Yes, Tail Dickie, I owe my life to you."

Young Tail, you need to re-think yourself. You have a wonderful mother. Pouf loves you very much and went into shock upon hearing you were caught and caged and that she might lose you. You should go comfort her. Tricksy was nearly hysterical over her sister going into shock. She worked hard to revive Pouf. You know if a squirrel goes into shock, it almost always dies."

Crow started to cry, and Dickie went over to him and put his arm on the young squirrels's shoulder. "I think today, you grew up, but it was the hard way. Go in and see your mother now and made amends to her."

Crow turned toward the entrace to the den.

"By the way," Dickie called out, you're confined to quarters until further notice. And if I see you talking to Tommy in whispers like the other day, your time will be doubled."

Crow went inside the den.

Crikie, an alpha squirrel's work is never done. Now I gotta talk to Tommy and he's my dad. Don't you hate to do what you gotta do. Sometimes?

EDITOR'S NOTE: Please make a comment here or on my e-mail at Carriemaebr@aol.com.

It is my Lady's birthday and I want to take this opportunity to wish her a happy birthday. Perhaps you might want to do so too. Thank you.

DID YOU SAY A BAD AIR DAY, HOW ABOUT 9 WEEKS?

2007-09-20T11:09:00.000-05:00

As you know, I, Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit, the World's one and only blogging rabbit, was cheerfully looking forward to a month off as vacation during the hottest, most humid month of the year, August. Now it is time to go back to work.

On Saturday, July 28, 2007, I was being especially mischievous to my roomie/slave (r/s) and got under the bed. She tried to get me out with a device she calls the "boo boo," which I know is only a hand-held battery-operated car vac. Guess what, folks, the thing died; the battery needed recharging. I stayed under the bed and she could only gaze at my two pointy ears and yell at me to get out. I would run out and under a lounge chair and then run back under the bed. Then, the merciless woman got a big boo boo, a regular vacuum cleaner, and pushed it parallel to the floor under the bed as far as she could. She has bags from Ace Hardware with furnace filters in them under the bed on her side and vinyl under-the-bed storage boxes on the side where I was hiding. I finally ran out of the room, scared to death.

Apparently, a part of the big Ace Hardware plastic bag got caught in the vacum cleaner and it seemed like maybe she blew out the motor or the belt. Anyhow, she unplugged the vacuum and took it into the bathroom, turned it upside down and picked out some threads from around the roller. Then she took it back to the bedroom, plugged it in and started to vacuum the rug in the bedroom. The stink was abominable and spread from the bedroom, in the back of the house to the foyer where I was pooping on the newspapers (next to my poop pan). She was very surprised that the stink was that bad. She hurried to the bedroom, wound up the cord and put the vacuum in the bedroom closet, saying, "Well, its working, at least. Patty can fix it when she comes over if it needs a new belt." She looked in the hall closet and found a spray can of Ozium and sprayed it in the bedroom and closed the door. It seemed that the odor was diminished. It was later found that there was nothing wrong with the vacuum cleaner. There was only one thing wrong, she later discovered. When my r/s turned on the gas to heat up hot water, the gas seemed to smell very strongly and the odor continued in the room after she turned off the gas.

Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention. The neighbor, right below her was having work done on his floors and put up a couple of notes apologizing for any noise. What a nice man!

Next day, the odor was back and seemed worse. It was especially noticeable when my r/s turned on the gas on her range. She was beginning to become concerned about a gas leak in the apartment. Although at this point, she doubted it, she took apart the burners on the range top and inspected them for food stuffs that might be clogging the burners. Then she told me she would hold off until Patty, the cleaning lady, came on Tuesday, and ask Patty for her opinion and advice. But, by Monday morning, July 30th, the smell worsened and my r/s decided not to wait any longer but to call the gas company to inspect the range and gas units for leaks.

The gas company responded to her call within then minutes and Andy, the serviceman, tested the fittings and assured her there were no leaks from any of her gas appliances. He did tell her that he believed the smell was caused by some chemical used by one of the other unit owners. Andy said he smelled it as soon as he entered the building.

The smell continued into Tuesday. On Tuesday, July 31st, Patty came and cleaned the apartment, including the windows, floors, counters and vanities, the bath tub in the pink bathroom and the shower stall in r/s's cage/bedroom. Patty said she smelled the chemical in the hall and it smelled like lighter fluid. By now r/s believed it must be caused by the downstairs neighbor's construction work, some chemical used in the finishing. Patty said she'd really tell the guy off. Roomie/slave only said at that time that it was almost too late to do anything about it now. Oh, really? She found out soon that this was just the beginning. Because Patty had the windows open for washing and also used her own cleaning solution (consisting of part ammonia, part vinegar, water and maybe some dish soap), the rooms seemed to smell fresher and r/s thought maybe it wasn't going to be too bad. In the meantime, my r/s put me in the */@!&*# cage. I remained there until 11:00 a.m. on Tuesday, when Patty finished the cleaning and left.

Although r/s used the washer as early as Sunday to wash small throw rugs, they were not dried in the dryer to help preserve the rubber backing. After Patty left, r/s put in a load of some towels, underwear, etc., and only upon taking them out of the dryer, did she realize that they stunk from this chemical. She was furious. Roomie/slave went downstairs and put a note on the downstairs neighbor's door, asking what was used in his "new flooring project" that was causing the fumes in our apartment. His apartment had blue tape across the door. By late afternoon, r/s was dizzy and lightheaded from the fumes which now were much worse and she vowed, something would have to be done.

The downstairs neighbor called her late that afternoon and she described the situation to him. It was noted he and his woman roommate were not living in the apartment. The men who had done the work had shut the windows, the temperature outside was in the nineties, and no air conditioning was on in his apartment. Roomie/slave told him that besides the overhead fans in our apartment, she had three fans going and two air purifiers. He had the nerve to ask if they were used before or just bought. She never made any request for payment for anything to him. She told him that her gas from the range smelled and also the dryer smelled causing her clothes to smell like lighter fluid. When she mentioned that her underwear smelled from the chemical and she could not wear them, he told her curtly that "she could take her underwear "to the cleaners" and he'd pay for the cleaning. She was infuriated. What an ungentlemanly remark to make to a lady. How would the woman who lives with him feel about a remark like that if made to her? Ladies don't take their underwear to the cleaners. Many days later, he apologized for all the trouble he had caused her (and others too who lived in the building).

It was Wednesday when r/s found out that her next door neighbor, Mrs. Urszula (Ula), had called the gas company because of the bad smell of gas when cooking and in her dryer. She also experienced foul air in her apartment, although not as heavy as my poor r/s. At that point, my r/s decided to write to the Condo Board, believing this situation needed a complaint in writing and that a letter left in their door would be better than a phone call to the complaint number. A phone call would mean waiting for a call back and then trying to explain the circumstances to a body who would then relay the message to the others. She wrote her letter and received a call about 10:00 p.m., that night that there would be a Board Meeting at 7:00 p.m., tomorrow, and asking if she could attend.<>/P>

The Board meeting went ahead at 7:00 p.m., on Thursday, August 2, 2007, at my home with me and r/s in attendance. Three Board members came, including the President, Mr. Marvin, Mr. John (sitting in for his wife), and Ms. Karen. Of course, I presided as Chairman of the Board. My Marvin stuck his index finger up his nose and said he had a great "smell-ability" since he quit smoking. I sat on my chair as Chairman of the Board and listened carefully to the proceedings. I looked at each speaker and then the person addressed (usually r/s) who answered the question. Mr. Marvin was quite put out about the letter writing, instead of a phone call. I guess there is a rule about complaints in writing must be addressed by the Board and phone calls can be ignored! Perhaps that was why he didn't like letters. The Board members inspected the range and dryer. The air in the rooms and the gas in the range were just about normal. However, the dryer gave out the bad odor which Ms. Karen duly noted.

It was because Ms. Karen agreed the dryer smell was bad that a decision was made that a chimney sweep would be done as soon as practical and Mr. Marvin would visit the downstairs neighbor and see for himself exactly what he had done to cause the odor. Mr. Marvin believed it was caused by the use of oil-based varnishes and stains rather than water-based. Ms. Karen believed that some sort of memo was in order about the use of certain substances for renovation work to avoid the problem in the future, but no such memo was originated to date.

Roomie/slave said she would be able to help out the Board with some typing and showed them the computer. I was stopped from entering the computer room. As to my blogs, you know I must hear and agree to any writing under my signature. Roomie/salve reads it aloud to me and I listen intently while I sometimes groom. Then she asks for an okay from me and I nod. I cannot type with my tiny furry paws so my r/s must do it for me upon my approval.

The Board left. Roomie/slave had Triscuits and other snacks put out, including crab salad, macaroni salad and other crackers. All participants declined. I was glad that no one ate the Triscuits and I knew I would pig-out after they left.

There was to be more work done by the downstairs neighbor and my r/s believed she could not stand the odor again. She said we would leave on a "vacation." What vacation? In a cage in a hotel in Alsip, Illinois? Now I ask you, does that sound like a vacation? My r/s and her neighbor Ula even put a harness on me. Me! Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit in a harness and caged as well. How and why did this come about, you ask?

Let me tell you. The dummy downstairs was going to complete his renovation by doing the bedrooms this time. That is, he was laying down new unfinished hardwood for floors and then staining, varnishing and applying sealant. My r/s couldn't handle another "big stink" and this time below her sleeping area and decided to spend a few days at the Baymont Hotel in Alsip. This hotel pleased her by its outside appearance and from what she read about it on the internet. There were pictures of the rooms on the internet as well. She talked to them and they told her pets were allowed. In my case, I had to be kept in a cage. It came down to either being boarded up at the Animal Hospital for a modest sum or bringing me with her. She felt since I had to be in a cage in either place, that I would feel better with her. (She was right about that.) That being the case, she got the use of a refrigerator and a microwave from the hotel management and we got all our stuff and ourselves in "Harrison" Nissan, our faithful car and last member of our family of three and took off to the hotel. Of course, my r/s brought everything but the kitchen sink. She even made more trips home and to the store for "stuff" and for more greens for my salads.

My r/s liked the huge king size bed and the room in general. The people that worked there were very nice and friendly as well. One of the ladies at the Front Desk told her that she had a rabbit as a pet once. She told my r/s that she also had a dog and the rabbit used to chase the dog around. Smart rabbit. Her rabbit was never kept in a cage either.

I, however, was not a "happy camper." All in all, it wasn't too bad, once the maids/housekeepers shut off their monstrous Boo-Boos after they ran them across the floor next to my cage. I jumed from one end of the cage to the other, but I guess Boo-Boos can't break into rabbit cages. The ladies would then come and stick their fingers in the case and tickle my nose. Once word got around that Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit was in the hotel, quite a few people came to see what I looked like. I like and crave attention. However, I couldn't write any blogs because we couldn't bring our computer and my r/s was not in the mood for writing in long hand.

Meanwhile, Marvin, the President, told the neighbor he had to seal up all his vents, even by removing his dryer and sealing that opening, but, I understqand, the stink was still bad. Roomie/slave went back home a couple of times to check on the smell. The neighbor called her and advised her that the project would be finished on Sunday, but it would stink, so we extended our getaway and returned home on Tuesday.

Roomie/slave has been very busy catching up on mail, bills, etc. The Condo now hired a real estate management company, perhaps because r/s was talking "lawsuit." I guess getting away wasn't too bad anyhow, but I personally was very glad to get home. My r/s left the front door open as a treat for me and I ran around the hall between the four apartments. No one was home. My r/s was very careful to keep the fire doors closed. It was fun to run free and sniff at each door. You can tell a lot about the people living there from a good sniff.

I will return to regular blogs and try to catch up on what my squirrel friends have been doing. I expect to do a "special" for Halloween. Wish me luck, friends. Thank you. If you wish to make a comment, please do. I can also be reach on Carriemaebr@aol.com.

Carrie Mae Runs Away!

2007-08-26T14:30:00.000-05:00

From Carrie Mae:

"Hey, you bunny rabbit, use your poop pan," my roomie/slave commands. I pee near the poop pan, making sure she sees me. My roomie/slave is seething with anger. I run away and scatter poop around the floor as I run.

Oh, Jeez, can't you just behave. Use your poop pan. God, I'm tired of cleaning up after you, Carrie Mae. I need a vacation."

Roomie/slave bends over and folds up the newspaper into a bundle and steps on it. I watch her. I want her to hurry up already with the cleaning and make me a salad and give me some Triscuits for treats. I am being slowly starved to death. Since the time when my doctor said I needed to lose weight, my roomie/slave finally decided it was now or never. She keeps saying she wants me to live a long and healthy life. Her real reason is because she hates chasing me down to give me butt baths, which I, too, hate.

My roomie/slave pours herself a glass of her red water and turns on the television. Oh, no, I think she may have forgotten about my salad. I think her dinner is in the oven. I can smell it cooking, making me more hungry. I meander around to the couch and tickle her feet and ankles with my whiskers. She crosses that foot over the other to get away from me. I knock down her foot with my nose. I am very strong. I think it is going to be a long hungry night. A couple of nights ago, she forgot my evening salad and I couldn't sleep for being so hungry. It is terrible to be a tiny little innocent rabbit like me and have to beg like a dog for foot, or eat hay. I have hay coming out of my ears.

She gets up and goes into the kitchen, and returns with a plate of steaming food. She has a great big look of eager anticipation on her face. "Ahh," she says, "my favorite, chicken and rice casserole. Sure enough she has forgotten about me. I jump on top of the couch and approach her from that direction. "Oh, no," she says, "you can't have any of this. This is people food."

I am fed up with this intolerable treatment. I go over to the poop pan and pee on the bare floor. She'll be mad when she she sees it and has to clean it up.

I go to my rabbit hole and crawl in. The smell of her food waifs over to me even in my rabbit hole. What's a poor bunny rabbit to do? Starve to death? I'll try to get even with my doctor for insisting that my food be restricted. I'll bite him again. This is all his fault.

After much smacking and chewing, she is through. She takes the plate back to the kitchen and on the way back to the couch, sees the pee on the dining room floor.

"Carrie Mae," she shouts. "What did you do again? Shame on you. You're not a baby bunny. I'm sick of cleaning up messes that you make. Besides which I think you're trying hard to destroy my home. I'm going to sic the little girl next door on you when you're sleeping in your rabbit hole.

I crawl out of my rabbit hole, jump on my chair and sit and glare at her. I hate people.!

Besides starving, the stink in this apartment caused by the dummy downstairs and the noise from the roofers has made me mad. I look out the window and see the squirrels running around and playing. Roomie/slave always feeds them first and then me. In fairness she eats last usually. She must have forgotten my salad again. I am jealous of the squirrels. They play all day and there is nothing much here for me to do but sleep and eat. Whenever I have fun, such as the time when I bit the carpeting down to the padding I get hollered at. Another time when I had fun and was hungry, I found a piece of wallpaper sticking out at the seam and tore the wallpaper off the wall. I got chased. When I got my teeth into the wallboard near the air return, I really got chased that time and even put in my cage.

My roomie/slave has an instrument of torture that she uses too frequently on me. It is a Boo-Boo. Most people ask her what a Boo-Boo is and she always whispers to them. But It makes a horrible noise as it breathes and sucks air into its frame. From what little I could hear when this item of torture is discussed, it had sounded like "car vac."

One day she took the covers off the air return and there I saw this great looking hole in the wall that led inside the bowels of her apartment. I was watching from a distance with great excitement and when her back was turned, I quickly scrambled down the rabbit hole. Unfortunately, she turned in time to see my little cotton tail disappear down the hole. She called to me and there was that tone of fear in her voice that told me she was frantic. I had to explore this delicious new place for me to hide. It was calling to me to go deeper where I would be safe.

Then, of course, it was my turn to be frantic when I heard the Boo-Boo on the other side of the hole. I heard it bang on the middle right above my head. It was after me. I decided I better get out and run from cover.

I can't do nothing but I'm chased and scolded. I know what I'll do. I'll run away from home. I think it will be easy. I'll wait until roomie/slave opens the door, especially if the little girl next door and her mother are coming in. I'll run out between their legs and get to the hall. I know sometimes the hall fire doors are open and I'll get downstairs. Then while they're talking, if only someone comes in or out, I'm out!

And so it was. Oh, it was a great feeling and I know my roomie/slave will by hysterical when she misses me. Whenever I hid on her, she walks from room to room and checks each of my favorite spots: my rabbit hole, the air return in back of the couch, in back of my throne (chair), underneath the love seat, under the coffee table, and in the bathroom, where I chew on the old cheap towels she puts over the bathroom rugs to protect them from me. Then, she'll start all over again, getting more hysterical as she calls, "Carrie Mae, where are you? Show yourself!

Well, not this time. Gee, the air feels great. I'll just stay in the shade. It's too hot for me in the sun, what with my rabbit fur.

I run for the little park with cement benches in the landscaping and hop on one of them and wait.

And wait.

I doze off. All of a sudden I hear noise. There are strange people coming toward me. There are two men. I think one is glaring at me, or is he just squinting from the sun. I recognize the voice of the other as the custodian that used to live across the hall from roomie/slave. I hop off the bench and run for it. I hide in the bushes. The men are looking for me. What will they do to me if they find me?

I started to get nervous because I was thirsty. I need to get some water. It seems that they have lawn sprinklers out here, so why aren't they working? The sun is high in the sky. It must be about noon. Don't they care about the grass? Why hasn't my roomie/slave found me yet?

I'm getting awfully sleepy. I'm getting more and more thirsty. I'm hungry too. Even my hay would be welcome. Where's my roomie/slave? Why isn't she bringing my food and water dish? Oh, I remember now. I ran away from home. I'm getting nervous. I'm thinking maybe this wasn't such a great idea after all. A roomie/slave does come in handy--sometimes. I wish I could hear her complain about my pooping and peeing all over the place. Just let me go home, I'll be a better rabbit and use my poop pan, I promise.

Again, I snooze for a while. When I wake up, the sun is low in the sky. I am very thirsty now and hungry too. I can't help it. I begin to cry. Just then I hear a noise and through my tears, I see two baby bunnies in some bushes across from me. One of the bunnies is light gray and the other bunny is light brown. They are both skinny as broomsticks. They are staring at me. Then one of them hops over. "Hello. What warren do you belong to?"

I don't know what the rabbit is talking about. I answer, "I live with my roomie/slave." Then I quickly add, "I want water and something to eat."

The other baby says, "Don't cry. We'll help you."

The gray rabbit says, "My name is Jane and this is my brother Jake. What is your name?"

"Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit." My throat is so dry that my voice sounds raspy and is hard to understand between my sobs.

"Well, don't cry. Jake, go get mommy or daddy."

The other rabbit, Jake, hops away.

Within minutes, Jake returns with two large adult rabbits, a male and a female. Both are skinny. They stare at me in obvious disgust and dislike.

The male looks at me and says, "You can't come home with our babies. You're of a different breed. You're a house rabbit."

All my hopes are dashed. The male rabbit kicks at me. By now, I am desperate and before I realize what I'm doing, I kick back. The whole group of them surround me and the male says, "I'll handle this one. The big male comes by me to kick me again. I grab one of the babies and hold it in front of me, like I saw on television. "You got to help me. I don't want to be in your rabbit hole; I only want some help to get water and food. I ran away from home. You don't need to hate me."

* * * * *

From Roomie/Slave:

"Carrie Mae, where are you? Show yourself? I check all of the rooms over and over. I get down on my hands and knees with a flashlight and check under the couch and loveseat. I check each and every room. Finally, I begin to believe Carrie Mae is not in the house. I circle the entire apartment, running the Boo-Boo. She always runs away from the Boo-Boo. I think over the day and note that there is a chance she could have escaped when I talked with my neighbor. The fire doors are open so she could have gotten downstairs. I run downstairs, open each fire door and look up and down each small hall. There is no sign of Carrie Mae. I have my keys in my pocket and grab a bottle of water. Then I proceed to look up and down the halls again. Then I run outside. Its kind of hot out and she won't know how to get water. I start out on our side of the building, looking right and left and calling her name, "Carrie, Carrie Mae, Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit."

I keep walking around the buildings of the Condo and calling Carrie. After a while, I am stopped by the handiman, Don. "What are doing? Who are you calling? Who is Carrie Mae?"

"That's my bunny. I think she got out of the building and is somewhere around the grounds."

Don frowns angrily. "If people kept those fire doors shut, she wouldn't have escaped. Well, I know where there are a couple of rabbits. I've seen two babies. Follow me."

I know I am the one who opens the fire doors to get some cooler air in the halls. I'll never open those fire doors again.

Don leads me to a remote area of the Condo on my side of the building, to a ditch or gully that runs alongside of the fence separating the property line of the Condo from that of the mini-mall next door. We looked up and down but there was no sign of any rabbits.

"Carrie. Carrie Mae. Are you near here? Please come out if you can hear me." I push the bushes to one side. I return to the little park with the cement benches and there I see a little speck of brown. Upon inspection I see it is a little lock of her rabbit hair. She has been here, but where is she now? "Carrie, Carrie, show yourself and come home with me. I promise I'll never complain about your pooping and peeing all over the place again."

Oh, where can my Carrie be? My beautiful Carrie."

"I saw her and tried to catch her, but she ran away from me." I turn and see John, who recently moved but still cleans for the Condo.

"Where?"

"Right where you're standing."

"Oh, God, She is out here somewhere. She'll die if I don't find her and give her food and water."

"Good luck." Don pats me on the shoulder sympathetically. "Oh, she'll find her way back when it gets dark. We'll keep checking where I've seen the baby rabbits. I think there is a rabbit warren near by."

"Thank you," I manage to say. I sit down one one of the cement benches and swear I'll take better care of my precious Carrie and I won't even complaint when I clean up her poop and pee. Then I get a brilliant idea. I run into the house and grab the open box of Triscuits and three unopened boxes. I grab one of Carrie's water bowls and run back to where the baby rabbits were seen. I fill the bowl with water and start breaking the Triscuits in their grooves and leave a trail of "bread (Triscuit) crumbs" at the site and leading to the bench at the park and sit and wait and cry and pray.

I sat until twilight. People were coming home from work and looked at me. My boxes of Triscuits were next to me on the bench. I can't say I cared at all that they stared at me. I just want my Carrie Mae back.

* * * * *

From Carrie Mae:

The wild rabbits from the warren finally mustered up some water. It was warm and dirty and smelled bad, but I drank it anyway. Then I threw up. Oh, Great Rabbit in the sky, please send me my precious lady. I'll never even call her my roomie/slave any more.

The rabbits told me to eat the grass and I tried, but I wanted my hay or my salad. This grass was dirty and bugs were crawling around in it. I want my lady and my water bowl, and my hay and my salad . . . I may never even see another Triscuit again. I don't know how long I'll live. I feel very weak and tired and hot.

I crawl out to get a breath of fresher cooler evening air and then I see it. It is my water bowl. Then I see a familiar face. It is Dickie Squirrel. He comes and embraces me. He never said a word, only helped me to my water bowl. He only let me take a few sips, and then he and Auntie Pouf pulled my head out of the bowl. "Not too much at first. Your lady is still waiting for you. All you have to do is follow the Triscuits. We don't like them too much, but we know you do. Come on." So saying, Pouf got on my left side and Dickie on my right side and they led me down the trail. I stumbled a couple of times, but they helped me up. Then I saw one. A Triscuit! A marvelous Triscuit laying on the ground. I jumped on it. Then I started crawling along the ground, stopping at each Triscuit, until Dickie said, "That's enough. You'll be throwing up again. I saw you from up in the trees."

Anyhow, the squirrels collected some of the Triscuits by putting them in their cheeks. I ate some whenever Dickie allowed me to take one, and we slowly made our way back to the parkway with the little cement benches, and there was my lady, with her head down, obviously crying. Dickie jumped on the bench, and startled, she screamed. Then she looked down and saw me and screamed in joy, "Carrie, thank God." She scooped me up and carried me to the door of the Condominium. "Thank you, Dickie. Thank you, Pouf. Thank you. Thank you very much. Oh, Carrie, I just about gave up hope. You look terrible. You poor thing. I'm so glad you're home. Please don't leave again."

* * * * *

From Carrie Mae:

With that we were reunited. That happened a couple of days ago. And now, I hear her familiar call. "Carrie Mae, what is all this poop doing here. Damn it, I'm tired of cleaning up after you."

Yeah, she was right. After one day of using my poop pan, I decided it was too much trouble, and no fun for me to use the poop pan, so I poop and pee around it like before. And what use would a roomie/slave be, except to clean up after me, feed me and give me my water. One of these days, I'm going to run . . .

No. I'll never do that again. And that is the truth.

Comfy and Cozy and Cuddly

2007-07-19T14:50:00.001-05:00

One day Dickie stopped by and told me this tale of tails:

When the lady that fed the squirrels saw young Crow, she considered Crow to be a baby squirrel. Then, for the next two days whenever Dickie, Tricksy or Pouf came by, she called after them. "Hey, you squirrels, did anybody here have babies? If so, I want to see those babies.

After discussion between Dickie and Tricksy, it was decided that the two babies would be brought to the Condominium for the lady to look at. It was only a coincidence that on the day the squirrels chose to bring the babies, the lady was not feeling good, and mistakenly dumped a nearly empty bag of dog biscuits out on the balcony before realizing that the bag held mostly crumbs, and left them there promising herself to clean it up after she felt better. It turned out that the crumbs were ideal squirrel baby food.

When the squirrels arrived with the babies, they were delighted to see food small enough for the two babies. This was the babies' first trip to the Condominium and they were very young at that time, barely able to walk. Dickie and Tricksy left the babies there on the balcony, knowing they would be safe. The adults felt it was good training; they watched from a tree across the way and Crow was nearby to assist the babies as well.

When the lady opened her blinds and looked out, she almost missed the tiny baby. There is sat eating from a tiny mountain of crumbs next to it. The lady turned to the right and gasped, "Ohhh, my God, there's another one!" She named them instantly, Comfy and Cozy. When she next saw Dickie and Tricksy, she told them their babies were adorable and thanked them for bringing the babies.

As the babies grew older, sometimes Comfy slept with Auntie Pouf, and Cozy slept with her mommy and daddy. She was daddy's little girl and he often held her in his arms when they went to sleep. Lately, Cozy had been more interested in sleeping with Auntie Pouf than with her daddy. Something was wrong here. Then the girl squirrels did an about face and both were sleeping with mommy and daddy, and that didn't add up. When separated at bedtime, the girls started crying. Something was going on that was even more wrong.

The two baby girl squirrels wiggled and giggled and played with each other every night. Finally, the inevitable happened. Dickie complained to Tricksy about the babies wiggling and giggling and squirming. All that wiggling and giggling and squirming was keeping Dickie from getting a good night's sleep and he didn't like it one bit. He loved his baby girl squirrels but didn't like their activity at night. Dickie said he was waking tired and cranky and was afraid that if called upon for help by other squirrels in his capacity as alpha squirrel, he wouldn't be able to solve any problems that might arise.

The girls listened to their daddy one day who scolded them for keeping him up. Cozy spoke up and said that maybe the girls could sleep together with Auntie Pouf for awhile, until they got older and didn't want to play as much. Tricksy was wary of this solution but Dickie seemed to think it was okay so long as Pouf agreed. The babies knew they were in; Pouf would never turn them away. As expected, Pouf agreed. All she had was her teddy bear and she missed the little warm body of a live baby. The little ones would grow fast, she said, and soon would lose their childish ways.

So the babies slept with Auntie Pouf. Tricksy dearly missed each one. She only relented because the girls cried if separated and Dickie couldn't sleep with all the wiggling and giggling and squirming that the babies were doing. Funny, Tricksy thought, a baby always wiggled and squirmed a little bit, but never as much as recently. Of course, one was not the same as two. A baby never giggled alone, but they did entertain each other during the day. We'll see, Tricksy thought.

For a while, the girls behaved beautifully. Dutifully, they kissed their parents and then crept toward Auntie Pouf. They formed a circle and went to sleep quickly. Pouf felt that Dickie was imagining things, they caused no problem. A couple of nights later, Pouf and the babies surrounded each other and Pouf, extra tired, fell asleep rather quickly. The babies were waiting for this and then both grabbed the teddy bear. They rolled on the teddy; picked at the beads that were the teddy's eyes and nose; and finally, the girls started fighting over the teddy, each pulling one of the teddy's arms in an attempt to have total possession of the doll.

It was at that point that Auntie Pouf stirred and hearing and feeling the movement of the babies, she opened her eyes and saw them pulling at the teddy. "Stop!" she shouted. This chee awoke all the squirrels in the whole tree den. They believed that a squirrel-napping was again in progress. All of them scurried quickly to Auntie Pouf's sleep area, where they saw the babies, crying now, because neither of them had been able to take over the toy.

"Bad baby girl squirrels. Drop the teddy bear." Tricksy grabbed Comfy and Dickie grabbed Cozy. Auntie Pouf grabbed the teddy bear, as each child relinquished its hold on the doll. Auntie Pouf was crying softly to herself and started crooning to the teddy. It was a good thing that the doll was well constructed and that the girls had been caught before any real damage was done to the doll. Both parents hustled the children back to their sleeping area. Dickie said, "Okay, all you other squirrels, go back to sleep. Everything's under control. Sorry for the disturbance."

Dickie put his arm around each of the babies, both of whom were still crying loudly and wetly. Tricksy crept back to Auntie Pouf to apologize for the children's behavior and calm her sister down.

"They were torturing my teddy. Why were they doing that?"

Tricksy rubbed Pouf's forehead lightly. They're just babies. There, there, sister. We're all safe and sound now. Don't cry." After a bit, Pouf also stopped crying and fell asleep.

When Tricksy returned to her sleep area, Dickie was growling softly to the beleaguered babies who were only whimpering a little now.

"I knew you two were up to something. I'll attend to you two in the morning," Tricksy warned.

Next morning Tricksy and Dickie took the girls aside and talked to them about the relationship that Pouf had with her teddy bear. She had rescued it, cleaned it and it was like the baby she didn't have. Pouf loved the teddy bear and didn't want the girls to destroy it. Tricksy told them that the teddy bear has a spirit too and could feel the pain. The girls said that they wanted a teddy bear and that their grampa Tommy would be able to get them their own personal teddy. Dickie did not want to encourage Tommy, who would find a way to steal the toy for the girls and he didn't want to encourage the girls to look to Tommy for stolen merchandise. "You can be your own teddy bears to each other," Dickie told them.

The girls were very unhappy. They moped around the tree den for a couple of days and just when Dickie felt they were getting over it, something seemed to be wrong with Cozy. She was listless and wouldn't play with Comfy. She didn't eat and cried easily. Tricksy believed that Cozy was running a fever. That night, she began shaking with chills. She complained to Tricksy that "she didn't feel too good."

Tricksy was very concerned. Pouf was the squirrel that was known as a "healer." Pouf had left the den for a few days after she took her vows with Pumpkinhead. Pouf and Pumpkinhead were away on a honeymoon. Tricksy knew some of the medicines that Pouf gave for fevers and she knew the baby had to be kept warm. Unfortunately, the weather was in a cold snap. Dickie wrapped his tail around the sick baby. That seemed to cheer Cozy.

"Daddy, your tail is so silky. I'm not as cold now."

Tricksy gave the baby some medicinal herbs in water to drink, and told Cozy to drink a lot of water. The baby felt worse the next day and by evening, it as very alarming for the parents. Dickie told Cozy to hang in there. Tricksy sang lullabies and they hovered over Cozy. Comfy was not allowed to sleep next to Cozy at this time since Tricksy and Dickie feld that they did not want her catching Cozy's germs. Cozy said she wished she had a teddy bear to hug. She didn't like being alone. She had never been separated from her sister for so long. Dickie said he would get the babies a teddy as soon as he could.

Dickie had to leave the nest for a short time to look for food. He went to the lady's condominium to eat. Then, lo and behold, alongside the squirrel's dish, was a teddy bear, similar to Pouf's teddy, but different. This teddy was pick and white but was a baby teddy with a diaper. It was a gift from the lady for the baby girl squirrels. Dickie forgot about the nuts and hurried home with the new teddy bear for Cozy clutched in his mouth.

In the meantime, Pouf had returned. She looked at the sick little baby girl squirrel and gave her a double dose of the herbal remedy and now Dickie gave the teddy bear to his baby Cozy. Comfy was looking at it, but knew her sister needed it more than she did. That night, Dickie again wrapped Cozy in the warmth of his tail until she began to sweat. He knew that the fever had finally broken. Cozy felt much better in the morning. Pouf made sure she drank plenty of water and gave her a dose of medicine as well. Pouf said they needed to get some juice for the little one, because she had not eaten for a couple of days. Pouf said she would take care of it herself, and she did. She gave Cozy some cranberry juice.

The next day, Pouf felt that Cozy was much better and that there was no reason to keep Comfy away from her sister. Comfy was very glad that Cozy could play with her again. Comfy and Cozy were very glad to have a teddy bear of their own. They promised they wouldn't torture this little teddy. That was a wise decision on their part, based in part because sometimes it seemed like the little teddy fought back. It seemed that after the babies tickled their teddy, they thought that something was tickling them. If they tried to pick at the teddy's eyes or nose, it seemed that a little pink padded foot came up and kicked them in the face.

The babies considered themself princesses since their daddy was the alpha squirrel and the padded foot injured their dignity. This teddy bear seemed to handle her handlers very well. When the two "princesses" talked it over, they felt it was wise not to complain; mommy and daddy might take back their teddy bear.

After a few days, Pouf asked, "What will you girls name your teddy?"

Comfy replied, "We agreed to call her Cuddly. Now we will be Comfy and Cozy and Cuddly. We love Cuddly."

EDITOR'S NOTE: You can see what Cuddly looks like in the picture in the beginning of this blog. She is from left to right, the second teddy or if you look at the top row, she is the teddy on the left.

THE END.

Pumpkinhead: New Squirrel in the Tree

2007-07-07T12:10:00.000-05:00

EDITOR'S NOTE: I know how sad and forlorn Pumpkinhead must have felt with a number instead of a name. He was Number Eleven (11) in his den.

I, Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit, the World's only blogging rabbit, lived part of my life as No. 1139052 at the Shelter. They had taken away my name and given me a number.

* * * * *

Dickie felt a great loss after he took Arnie to live with the lady and the man. He knew that Arnie's diminutive size made him subject to ridicule as a runt by other squirrels, but only a few knew of Arnie's courage and determination. But Dickie knew! And loved his little half-brother! Dickie made plans to visit Arnie with the whole family in the near future. The baby girl squirrels were still small enough to be carried piggyback and little Cozy asked about Arnie almost every other day.

Dickie was also seriously worried. A few weeks after the attempted squirrel-napping of little Comfy, he thought he heard noises in the night in the brush outside the hollow tree that was home for the squirrels of Stony Ridge Creek Den. Dickie could not sleep soundly during the nights following and was ever alert for sounds of an intruder. He contemplated moving but a move is as serious for squirrels as for people. He knew that his father Tommy was dealing in real estate and could find a suitable dwelling for the family, but what of Tommy's hoards of walnuts and stashes of other amenities? Tommy had just about anything and everything to make living easy. He was the "Sears" of the Squirrel World. Dickie knew Tommy would not move and Dickie didn't want to break up the family, nor did he want to give up the amenities acquired by his father Tommy.

Dickie then remembered that Arnie had slept with Crow near the fire escape exit of the tree and that is how he came to be the first to attack the Renegade Red Squirrel and rescue little Comfy. Crow slept wherever he put his head down and sometimes spent the night out with friends. Crow could give his mother grey fur, except she was an Eastern Grey Squirrel and her fur was already grey. Dickie would have to set Crow straight very soon about returning home to the den every night. His absences worried his mother Pouf. Also, if Crow was out, the fire escape entrance, althouogh concelaed, was left unguarded at night.

All of a sudden, a light lit up in Dickie's ping pong ball-size head. He was known for his intelligence and quick action in solving problems. He bounded straightaway. He found the Area Squirrel Chee-Crier nibbling bugs off a tree further southwest of Dickie's home den. He talked at length with the Chee Squirrel about a message that he wanted to go out to all squirrels throughout the southwest creek area. A chee-crier squirrel in each acre would pass it on until all the squirrels in an eight-acre square around Dickie's den heard the message. In Dickie's one acre area, the chee-crier squirrel was named Loquacious. Loquacious lived up to his name and bent Dickie's ear for a solid hour of chatter. He was called Loco for short.

Although Loco taked too much to suit Dickie, he had a reputation for being one of the best chee-criers on the southwest side. He lived up to his reputation and began cheeing loudly as soon as he had composed his message. Dickie was nearly home and he could now hear Loco cheeing out the news that Dickie would commence interviewing squirrels in the area who were interested in relocating or moving up to better living quarters. Dickie wanted a new single male squirrel or two to live in his den to replace Arnie for the protection of his family.

Dickie had realized that although their den was noted to be large and the entire den territory took up a lot of space, there were very few squirrels living inside its boundary. Tommy's hoards and stashes took up most of the space surrounding the tree where the squirrels lived and slept. He felt additional squirrels were a must for protection and, he hoped, one would become a mate for Pouf, Tricksy's sister, who suffered greatly from loneliness and had only her teddy bear Susie Snort to sleep with. Squirrels mated during mating seasons only, but slept together for warmth and protection. Pouf had lost her two babies: one had fallen during a move and a dog attacked the other. It was the same dog that had bitten Pouf on the tail. That piece of tail hung at an angle to the rest of her tail and eventually had fallen off, but fur had grown from the tip, making it look like she had a ponytail. Hence, she acquirred the name Pouf.

By the time Dickie climbed into the main entrance of his tree, Tricksy greeted him with great admiration. What a wonderful idea! What a wonderful squirrel! Dickie would interview squirrels who needed to move to better quarters. He would begin taking applications tomorrow.

Dickie interviewed several squirrels the next day. Somewhat disappointed, he thanked them and told them he would consider their applications and Chee Loco would spread the word, or they could come back and check with Dickie if privacy was an issue. None really cared about privacy.

The applicants consisted of a young tail only a little older than Crow. This young tail didn't feel comfortable in his own skin yet. The young tail wanted to get away from his parents who were "holding him down." There was also a young buck eager to mate with a female squirrel. The females in this squirrel's den area had all been spoken for by older squirrels. The young buck brazenly showed Dickie his muscular arms and Dickie said, "Okay, I understand. Don't call us; we'll call you." Another older somewhat feeble squirrel had many battle scars and although polite, the old-timer left much to be desired. He had been kicked out of his home den and needed housing badly. Dickie didn't think his squirrel sister-in-law would be happy with this sad case. Dickie wished there was an old-squirrel-folks home and vowed he would put starting one on his "to do" list.

It had taken some time to talk to the applicants and Dickie was tired and depressed. He knew there would be more applicants tomorrow, but was generally disappointed with the quality so far. His tail was starting to drag when along came a squirrel in the prime of his life. This squirrel was not handsome like Dickie, but was average good looking. Dickie's curiosity was piqued since this squirrel was obviously not a loser nor was he just a young tail looking for a soft bed.

The squirrel approached and said, "Sir Tail, Dickie, I understand you are looking for a squirrel or two to fill openings in your den. I have heard cheeing to that effect and wish to talk to you about this. I can only tell you in the Town of Buckwheat, south of here, near Utica, my den name was Squirrel Number 2002-11 there. I lost my family and tree in a very strong wind that picked up the tree and threw it against a house and through a window. I was able to jump clear, but unable to save my family consisting of my mate and three youngsters. They were killed in this tornado that struck uexpectedly in the late afternoon. It was the same one that you might have heard about. It struck nearby Utica and Buckwheat on April 20, 2004.

"I had been living in a pile of wood and rubbish that once was a home, but I have reason to believe the owners will soon be clearing it away, so I started drifting and was not welcomed in any new dens. I was ready to give up, when I heard the chee-crier. I would like to have a safe home far away from the site of the tragedy that claimed my family." With that, the squirrel put his head down and cried out, "Aargh."

Dickie was overtaken by the magnitude of this squirrel's tragedy and extended his forearm to Number Eleven to sit down and rest. He cheed to Tricksy and she came running out. He told Tricksy to get some of Pouf's elderberry tea and serve the two of them some cake from Tommy's stores. The squirrel relaxed after eating and drinking. Dickie accepted Number Eleven into the den even though he had a "skimpy tail." Dickie told Number Eleven he'd be proud to have him live with the squirrels of Stony Ridge Creek Den.

In the next days that passed, Pouf and Number Eleven became great good friends. Number Eleven did not court Pouf, however, but Pouf provided solace to Number Eleven to help him forget his troubles. The baby girl squirrels came and played with Number Eleven as much as he'd let them and Dickie waited and watched. The babies called him "Leven" and bounced and hopped. Slowly, "Leven" lightened up and started enjoying himself again. He ran with Pouf often to forage for nuts at the lady's apartment at the nearby Condominium.

Finally, one day, clouds filled the sky. It became very dark. Rain poured down and although the temperature was warm enough, the squirrels were edgy and nervous. Dickie and Tricksy asked "Leven" if he'd like to accompany them to the lady's house and get some nuts. When the squirrels jumped to the roof, a big bolt of lightning crashed and poor "Leven" looked sick. Dickie held him by his forepaw and led him down the overhanging gable to the dry shelter of the lady's balcony. The balcony was decorated for Halloween and a terra cotta jack-o-lantern was placed on top of a little table on the balcony.

Several other squirrels from nearby dens were eating and chasing each other. The squirrels all began to grab nuts and jump to their favorite spots on the rail to eat. Still, the weather worsened and the sky darkened. Poor "Leven" was frightened and afraid. He lost his appetite. Afraid of the storm and afraid Dickie would throw him out of the den because of his cowardice, he saw the empty jack-o-lantern. He jumped in the empty fake pumpkin while the other squirrels jumped and chased each other for the food. Dickie and the other squirrels finally saw him when the lady owner of the Condominium clapped her hands and threw her head back and laughed uproariously. She had just sat down and started watching the squirrels from inside through the open balcony screen door when she saw Number Eleven's head and tail appear from the jack-o-lantern. She said, "Hey, look at that squirrel. Now he's smart. He found a place to stay dry and out of the wind. I'm naming him Pumpkinhead."

And to this day, that is what he is called. He now has a new home, a new identity with a new name and good squirrels for friends and companions. He also regained his self-confidence and came courting with a rose in his mouth for Pouf.

Pouf was elated, overjoyed. "Why, Pumpky. Is that rose for me?" They soon took vows.

Dickie and Tricksy think that Pouf now looks happier than ever they remember. She still sleeps with her teddy bear Snort, but now makes room for Pumpkinhead, her "Pumpky." When the mating season begins, no doubt Pouf will start a family of little ones of her own with her new mate Pumpkinhead or "Pumpky," as she affectionately calls him.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Indeed, she did. Pouf and Pumpky are proud parents of three little babies, named Rick and Rack and Button.

Also, Dickie had Loco call the old timer and invite him to live with the squirrels of Stony Ridge Cove Den. His invitation, of course, was accepted, and the new squirrel is now a member in good standing at Stony Ridge Creek Den. He goes by the nickname "Feisty." No wonder he had so many battle scars and had been kicked out of his home den! In the future, I will question Dickie about Feisty's behavior.

THE END.

A Midsummer's Eve Ghost Story

2007-06-06T14:47:00.000-05:00

Editor's Note: This is a departure from the usual children's fare found on my blog. Parents should use discretion and decide on the suitability for young and/or sensitive children. Please be aware that this is pure fiction that my roomie/slave insisted I publish on my blog for the pleasure of that "flat tire" Douglas. And so I begin:

Date: Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Ms. D's Story to her Counselor: "I love Carrie Mae. I really do. I just don't know what to do about her now. I told her the day that I took her home that I'd never take her back to the shelter. I'll keep that promise, but now it looks like I might just lose my sanity by keeping her.

"She started acting strangely in April and May and she still continues to act in a weird manner. It started with the construction noise caused by the next door neighbor. His wife and I are friends and she told me she was going to have her carpeting torn out and laminate flooring installed. Later she told me that she was taking her child and would be going to Poland for a two-month vacation. Her husband commenced working on the flooring while she was gone.

"Carrie became upset with the banging, hammering and noise that was going on next door. I believe our neighbor was using power equipment, probably to saw the flooring to size. When he was removing the tiles in the entraceway, the banging and hammering was so loud, it seemed like someone was trying to break into our home. He started the work on Easter Sunday night and it continued almost every night thereafter for the next several weeks. Carrie would sit upright. Her ears pointed high up with her eyes wide open. There was never any noise during the day because he continued working on his regular job, and did the construction project in the evenings.

"During this period of construction, I had a doctor's appointment and I needed to keep it because I developed a rash on my right foot, both my legs were swollen, especially the right leg, and I needed a refill for a prescription. The day before, the medical center had called to confirm my appointment and I answered that I would be there.

"Carrie Mae was so upset about me leaving her alone that she stood on her hind legs and hugged my leg with her forelegs as if to try to keep me with her. I swore it tore at my heart, and I apologized to her, but was firm that I must go and see the doctor, but would be back as soon as I could. I had to wait longer than usual to see the doctor. The doctor wrote a prescription for a salve for the roseacea on my face and another prescription for the rash on my foot. She told me that I had to make an appointment for an ultrasound test on my legs at the hospital as soon as possible.

"I took the two prescriptions for the skin problems to the pharmacy and knew it was best to wait for the prescriptions to be filled, so I could begin treatment with the medications as soon as possible. I shopped next door at the supermarket while the prescriptions were being filled. Consequently, it was a long time before I could return home. When I did, I called the hospital, and an appointment for the ultrasound was made for the next day.

"I dreaded the next day because I had to leave Carrie Mae again. I didn't realize the seriousness of the reason for the ultrasound and so I caught Carrie Mae and locked her in her cage with water and enough hay for a couple of hours, believing her cage could be calming to her and she might sleep while I was gone. Lucky for me, I had no blood clots, because the technician informed me that I would not have been allowed to leave and would have been admitted to the hospital until the clot was dissolved. Carrie Mae would be on her own, unless I could reach one of the two people who had keys to my apartment, and ask the person to bring her food and water. One of the people was the husband of my neighbor in Poland, and the other was my counsin, who travels a lot.

"About the time my neighbor was finished with remodeling his apartment and installing the flooring, and just before his wife and child returned from vacation, construction started on the roof of a building next door. The roof of this building was just below our balcony windows. The work was done during the day. I don't know what they were doing to this roof, because the trees mostly blocked the view, but from time to time last summer and in the middle of winter, I saw workmen up on the roof. I assumed it was leaking and needed repair or replacement. They too were using power equipment. There was banging and hammering constantly. They were Mexican workers and had a radio and were playing loud mariachi music. Carrie Mae was showing signs of resentment. She glared at me and refused to let me pet her. She refused even her beloved Triscuits. She didn't do much sleeping any more during the day, but she would lie down next to the window and look out. She wouldn't look at me, but would thump and run away when I got anywhere near her. When she did sleep, she stayed in her 'rabbit hole,' her play station, a square box with round holes in two sides, and if I came near her, she escaped through the opposite hole.

"Things definitely went downhill from then on. It seemed like she had more noise than she could take and so she became aggressive. She looked on the verge of biting me and sometimes if I put my hand inside her 'rabbit hole,' it looked like she was ready and willing to snap at me. She thumped occasionally.

"There were days she seemed like herself. She would jump up on the couch next to me and wanted to snuggle, but those times became few and far between.

"After hours of staring out the window at the squirrels and the Mexican laborers, she seemed to become hypnotized. Then, one day, when the squirrels came to eat, she pounced on the glass balcony doors so hard that I thought she might break the glass. She thumped periodically. Sometimes I saw her do strange things that made no sense. She would jump in the air and fall flat on her four legs. She seemed like a stranger to me and I wanted to scream at her to stop it. Finally, I did scream 'stop.' At once, she started thumping; then after at least fifteen minutes of nearly constant thumping, she seemed to wear herself out and then she settled down.

"Besides Carrie acting strangely, the squirrels behaved in a manner like I had never seen before. First of all, they were coming less often to eat. Perhaps they were feeding on the cicadas, but that wouldn't explain their strange behavior. Their visits became shorter and when a squirrel appeared, the little one would grab a piece of cookie and jump onto the roof gable and disappear within seconds. No squirrel perched on the rail and no squirrel stood on the storage bin; no squirrels chased each other. It seemed like they couldn't wait to get away and I had seen one or two jump down off the balcony to the ground, three floors below, in its haste to flee the premises.

"I thought I needed to spend more quality wake time with Carrie Mae. She might have been missing the activity and her friends at the shelter and I even considered taking her back, but I remembered my promise, and also I loved her too much. I was becoming more and more distressed and depressed. Even though I thought it would be great to be with her more, I had developed this habit (which my doctor said often happens to retirees) to go to sleep early in the evening and awake early in the morning. That being the case, I would often fall asleep on the couch when watching a TV show, or if there was no TV show of interest, simply turn off the TV and close my eyes. In minutes, I would fall asleep. When I woke up later, I would go on to bed. Sometimes I thought I saw a red light through the vertical blinds coming from outside the apartment. I was too half-asleep to investigate further.

"One day was especially disheartening to me. Carrie was more peculiar than ever. She stayed on the far side of the room near where her cage was, and would not eat until I took her food over to her. She thumped from time to time. I continued sitting on the right hand side of the couch nearest the window. She stayed as far away from me as she could. If I came near her, she thumped immediately and ran and hid. The squirrels were reacting in their pattern of flying down the gable, grabbing a piece of cookie, and literally flying back up the gable."

Ms. D's Counselor: "My dear, I know you have refused anti-depression drugs in the past but I still think it best for you to start a medication.

"No drugs."

"At least, take a vacation then. Get away from that house and take that animal back to the shelter or her vet's animal hospital."

"I'm not taking her back to the shelter. Maybe the animal hospital could put her up and maybe I might try to get away. Okay."

Date: Friday, June 1, 2007

Ms. D. to Carrie Mae: "I can't stand it much longer. It was as if I am poison to all you little creatures that once brought so much humor into my life. I screamed at Carrie Mae. 'What's going on here? What's wrong with all of you? Why are you afraid of me?'

"Then, I took my usual anti-anxiety pill, lay down in bed for awhile and then got up. Carrie was awake, and looked at me sorrowfully. I turned on the TV, and, miserable as I was, started crying, repeating to Carrie that I was sorry for screaming at her. Carrie just sat there. Once again, I lost control, and said, 'What's going on here?' I lay back down on the couch and, thankfully, I drifted off to sleep.

"That day, the dreams started.

"I dreamed of a beautiful day with the sun streaming down upon Carrie and me. The day was neither too hot nor too humid. It was warm with a mild breeze that made you believe you were on vacation and all was well. I had Carrie Mae outdoors and she ran along beside me (something that never happened in reality.) I was very happy. A squirrel jumped down from a tree and nearly flew to the edge of the property, turned and waited for us. It knew I brought goodies for it.

"Still dreaming, later we went inside and all of a sudden, the day changed. It drew dark and it was night. I looked out of the balcony windows and I could see a full moon through the trees. I saw a cloud pass over the moon. I saw a red glare. The whole picture presented in the dream was overlaid in red. Was this a fire? Then a boom of thunder was heard. Very loud and obviously nearby. It was followed by a flash of lightning that shocked me so much I screamed. The lightning seemed to hit the balcony.

"In my dream, Carrie Mae was crazy with fear. She jumped and ran and hid someplace. I called to her, then started looking for her. Talking all the time. Trying to sooth her. Telling her I was here and I'd protect her. Telling her to stay in the middle of the apartment away from the windows. The power went off just then and we were in the dark. I lit candles. I was normally uneasy during storms, aren't we all? But this one seemed different. I looked out of the window to see if the whole street was dark. Through the trees, I saw a cloud passing over the full moon. Carrie Mae finally came out of hiding and again, grabbed at my sock and hugged my leg. She was running from me to the door of the apartment. Back and forth. Endlessly. Thumping all the time. Through the blinds, I again saw a red light shining from somewhere outside.

"Next, my dream brought me back to the couch and lying down, I dreamed Carrie Mae was talking to me. Later, I tried to remember how I knew it was Carrie Mae. I tried to remember her voice. Her voice? What voice? She can't talk. Who did I hear? Whoever I heard was warning me of danger outside on the balcony and telling me to stay away from the windows and stop feeding the squirrels. The voice explained I was putting them in great danger by attracting them to the balcony with food. Then I woke up.

Date: Wednesday, June 20, 2007, Midsummer's Eve

"From then on until today, every time I slept at night or took a nap during the day, I had the same dream and saw the same red light. I heard the same warning, 'don't feed the squirrels!' Always I knew it was Carrie Mae. But how?

"I was frightened. I checked the moon charts that afternoon and learned that on Friday, the moon would be in the first quarter. I noticed then that the calender mentioned that June 21st was midsummer and I remembered that day meant something to pagan worshipers. However, this was June 20th. Did midsummer's eve denote something spiritual as well? I couldn't remember.

"Weather-wise, the day was beautiful. All sunshine and low humidity. Warm, in the eighties, with a mild breeze. It was like the day I had been dreaming about constantly. I decided to stay inside. Carrie Mae sat in her chair and stared at me. She did not look happy at all.

"As if on cue, the weather changed in the evening and thunder showers moved into the area. I looked out the window and through the trees waving madly in the wind, saw a cloud passing over the moon. I grabbed Carrie Mae's carry case and then grabbed her. She seemed glad to be put in the case and to be leaving the apartment, something in the past she always fought against desperately.

"I got out of the apartment, but not far enough away. There, on my balcony, a huge red light appeared. I stared at it from below. The landscape was lit up nearly to daylight by the red glow. I knew I should be running toward the garage and the car, but I was fascinated and horrified at the same time. The red light flashed up and down and around in a feverous motion, like the beam of a high powered floodlight. As I watched I became aware that the movement of the light was slowing down. It eventually melded itself into the form of a hugh squirrel, red, and glowing.

"Then I heard the loudest clap of thunder ever, so loud, my hearing went out temporarily. Then a bolt of lightning struck the balcony. The lightning struck the specter; it let out a scream that could be heard throughout the area. Then, the loathsome apparition disintegrated and disappeared.

Date: Thursday, June 21, 2007 (Midsummer Solstice)

"The next day all was back to normal. Carrie Mae went about her mischievous ways again, eating newspapers, trying to chew the tube over-wrap on the TV cable, hiding in various places (under the couch, under the love seat, and in front of the air return of the HVAC system). We had our treats together while we watched Martha on TV. The squirrels returned to the balcony. I put out some cookies for them and they chased each other.

"My neighbor, back from Poland, visited later in the afternoon and brought her child along to chase Carrie Mae. Guardedly, I questioned her about last night's storm and had she seen any weird lights or heard any weird noises or screams. She replied no, she had heard only the loud thunder followed closely by lightning and the 'big wind.'

"The only thing that reminded me of last night's havoc was the red fur I found in many places on my balcony floor, especially on the small rug in the center of the balcony, where it was hard stuck and even burned on.

"It occurred to me that all the squirrels I ever see here are grey. My curiosity was aroused and I got on the internet and searched it for information on squirrels. I found out that my squirrels are Eastern Greys, Scuirus Carolinensis, and are a playful, non-aggressive species. I found there are red squirrels, that are known to be aggressive. They are widely distributed across North America wherever conifers are common. I found an article on a website from Environment Canada*, which brought chills to my bones. It read:

". . .Young grey squirrels in the nest are vulnerable to raccoons, snakes, and red squirrels. Numerous myths suggest that the red and the grey squirrels are bitter enemies and that the red will castrate the grey at every opportunity. In reality the even-temperred grey squirrel usually gives way to the more aggressive red in a confrontation and a fight is avoided."

"I wondered about everything that had happened in the past months and pondered over it. What do you think?"

*CWS - Environment Canada by Authority of the Minister of the Environment. 1983, 1990, Heather Hamilton, D. Smith, Supply & Services, Canada. (ISBN 0660-1634.1, Catalog No. CW69-4/67-1990E.

EDITOR'S NOTE: See Blogs 3 and 4, "Dickie's Tale: A bad Nite for Sleeping," wherein a "Renegade Red" squirrel attempts to abduct one of his twin daughters, Comfy.

Thats's all folks. I hope you remember a well-fed squirrel is a friendly squirrel. Leave a Comment here or send an e-mail to Carriemaebr@aol.com. Thank you.

Pouf and Suzie Snort

2007-06-01T12:21:00.001-05:00

I was snoozing when I saw a welcome visitor to the balcony. It was Pouf (pictured here), a most im-portant member of the squirrel com-munity. She was reverred for her kindness to her sister, Tricksy, and also because she was the "healer," meaning she was the doctor who nursed the sick squirrels when necessary.

One day the baby girl squirrels asked Pouf to tell them how she came to have a teddy bear. Altough they knew the story, they never tired of hearing Pouf tell them one more time. This is her story, as told to the babies.

"Occasionally, I'd flick my tail. You know squirrels can keep the names that their parents give them at birth, or, when old enough to mate, can pick a name. The day will come when you too can choose what you want to be called. I got my name because I have extra fur forming a pony tail the end of my tail. And, I am called Auntie because I am your aunt, that is you two, little baby girl squirrels, Comfy and Cozy.

"Tommy and I were perched on a tree branch. We each had a walnut clenched in our teeth. This tree was on the other side of the fence from the condominium property and on the shore of the Stony Ridge Creek. We were on our way home to the Stony Ridge Creek den, walking on the chain link fence with our nuts 'to go' when the Condo custodian started chasing us, waving his arms at us and making a weird noise. Feeling threatened, we climbed up a tree in a hurry.

"At this time a young couple with a baby came down and stopped to talk to the custodian. They were standing on the blacktop near their car on the other side of the fence from where we were perched in the tree. The child was held in her daddy's arm. She had seen the chasing episode and watched us squirrels scurry up the tree. While her parents talked to the custodian, the child never took her eyes off us. Tommy watched the doll. Both of us watched the people and waited.

"It is a fact that Tommy is an accomplished thief and he was and still is ever vigilant to increase his stash and is notorious on all the southwest side for his hoard of stolen toys. Tommy considers everything in his cache to be 'recovered' and anything he spots that was found on balconies, or left in driveways, back yards or 'outdoors' was deemed people 'cast offs' and therefore 'recoverable' by 'a squirrel or squirrels unknown.' The only restraint on Tommy's avarice was the size of the recoverable item. This little doll was smaller than an adult squirrel and appeared light in weight. Ideal!

"The child's right arm was around her daddy's neck and she held the doll in her left arm. She stretched that arm out to us squirrels while she pointed her finger and made noises to her daddy (still engaged in conversation with the custodian). The doll simply floated to the blacktop. The couple then said their goodbyes to the custodian and mom unlocked and opened the car door while daddy leaned in and put the baby into the child seat. The baby babbled something, then started crying, but both parents were intent on reciting their plans about where to go first and the child was too young to talk.

"The people were now all inside the car, daddy started the motor, mom was digging in her baby bag and then the car backed up and turned, on its way out of the lot. The custodian disappeared up the walk and into one of the buildings. We waited no longer. Tommy fairly dove for the doll. At the same time, the car stopped, and dad jumped out to retrieve the doll, followed closely by mom. I saw the two people coming toward us. I picked up the doll in my mouth before Tommy could get it and ran toward the people to return the doll to the child. Just then I saw mom make a bad face and I heard her say something about "a filthy squirrel had the doll" and the man gave out a snort. I stopped; then backed away. The two people returned to the car and drove away. I was very hurt, but Tommy, of course, was jubilant.

"Back at home in our tree den, Tommy and I had an argument. Tommy wanted the doll for his stash but I insisted that I should have it, since I had been insulted by the people. Tommy gave in and let me have the doll. You might recognize it as one of the teddy bears designed and sold by the U.S. Post Office. It is the small pink and white teddy bear with a replica of the 34 cent love stamp appliqued on the right side of its chest and a big heart on the left side of its chest. 'I love you' is appliqued on the teddy's back and the 'o' in the word 'love' is a red rose with a stem. The stem forms the 'y' in 'you.' It also has a tiny red rose on its right foot and a little figure of a person in red on its left foot. The teddy has black beads for eyes, a black nose and a smiling mouth. I fell in love with the teddy even when I saw it in the child's hand. It had taken all of my motherly sympathy to try to return the teddy to the baby in spite of my own desire to own it, only to have to suffer the indignity of the people's insults. But that being the case, I found I loved the teddy even more.

"You two babies as well as the other squirrels watched as I finished eating my walnut, then filled the empty shell with water and and started washing my teddy. I didn't like the smell of talcum and I wanted the teddy to be clean as a whistle. The other squirrels started helping by bringing me extra water in nutshells. Eventually, I finished with her clean-up and I took her out in the sun to dry. At last, I held her in my arms and rocked her.

"Yes, I saw you two watching me and eyeing the doll with interest. Your interest surpassed even Tommy's need for possessions. Yes, Comfy and Cozy, you two little baby girl squirrels were entranced by the doll. It was a little bit bigger than your small size. I heard Cozy say, 'That won't present a problem.'

"I remember Comfy shaking her head in agreement and saying, 'And it will be nice to snuggle up to the doll when its cold outside.'

"At this point, I saw Cozy smile slyly, remembering how she said to Comfy, 'We could both start sleeping with Auntie Pouf, instead of just taking turns.'

"Then Comfy spoke up. 'But do you think mommy and daddy will let us?'

"And, Cozy, said, 'If we don't make any mention of the teddy bear, but just say we don't want to be separated any more, then I think they might buy it.'

"And Comfy said to Cozy, 'Come on Cozy, let's go see Grampa Tommy and see what he has to say about how Auntie Pouf got ahold of this teddy bear first.'

"And Cozy said, 'Wait, Comfy, I want to ask Auntie Pouf something first. She sees us watching her and eyeing the teddy. I'll try to put her mind at ease.'

"Yes, Cozy, you ran over to me then, and said, 'Say, Auntie Pouf, what are you going to name your teddy?'

"And I replied, 'Well, Cozy, I thought I'd name her a nice name like Susan, but she needs a surname also. I think I'll call her Susie Snort, after the noise that the man made when I tried to return it to the baby.'

"'Yeah, Auntie Pouf, both baby girl squirrels agreed, and repeated the name in unison. Susie Snort, it is.'

"Then, you gave each other a secret look and bounded away to find Grampa Tommy. I know you girls want her for your own, but Suzie Snort is my teddy and I intend to keep her.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Can you pick out Suzie Snort from the picture on top? She's the first on the left. Later, the girls get their own teddy and name her Cuddly, but that's another story. Keep checking this blog for more tales and don't forget to leave a Comment or send an e-mail to me at Carriemaebr@aol.com. Thank you.

Also, please note that I, Carrie Mae, Bunny Rabbit, the one and only blogging rabbit, intend to publish my ghost story on Thursday, June 20, 2007, Midsummer's Eve. Don't miss it.

My roomie/slave wanted me to comment to you about the proper reading of ghost stories. Although I have told you in advance that you will be reading a ghost story, the same general rule applies, you must accept and believe in the existence of the ghost in order to fully appreciate the story.

If you pick up a piece of reading material, the author should give a clue that this is a serious matter by setting the tone of the story early on. If it is a story about a ghost or haunting or something supernatural, at one point, you will be made aware of it. From then on, you must again forsake your personal feelings and believe that a supernatural presence does exist. When you are finished with the story, you can again deny the existence of the ghost, or, as my roomie/slave says, "I don't believe in ghosts but I hope I never see one."

Thank you.

Tricksy Loves Pumpkins - Part 2

2007-05-19T11:31:00.000-05:00

This is the second part of Tricksy's tale of coming of age. My roomie/slave had gone out and so I invited Dickie and Tricksy inside and listened once more to Tricksy explain how she and Dickie had become mates.

I hope you enjoy this story of the young lovers as much as I enjoyed it when I first heard it. Read and relax.

* * * * *

With the fall came the fall harvest of vegetables. The lady decorated her balcony with squash and pumpkins and other colorful Halloween decorations. The squirrels were all excited about this bounty of new food and declared it a "war site." They dive-bombed into the area with all the force of their hunger, eager to fatten up before the winter wind ripped the leaves off the trees and Mother Earth was hard bitten in frost.

Little Cupcake still hadn't chosen an adult name. She floundered and became upset when Pouf gently urged her to change her name soon and take a mate before winter set in for the sake of any new babies.

Cupcake never forgot her friendship with Dickie, but whenever she saw him he was surrounded by other female squirrels. These females were bigger and they were aggressive and no match for little Cupcake, who just hid behind that same storage bin and yearned for the attention that Dickie had once shown her. She was sure he had seen her hiding there and knew she was pining for him. But, he seemed to ignore her and went on with his business with the other female squirrels in his growing harem although Cupcake could not be sure he had chosen any female squirrel for his mate yet.

Tommy came by and started clawing and sinking his teeth into each of the two pumpkins left by the lady. He always assaulted the pumpkins on the outer-most side away from the windows, so the lady would not see him. Cupcake noticed the lady did not leave any Indian corn out there any more. Cupcake decided that Tommy and the other squirrels had eaten too much last year and the lady would not put any corn out.

Tommy had torn several holes in the pumpkins, both of which were at least twice as tall as he was. Cupcake was drawn to the scent of the pumpkins. Sweet with a hint of spice. She had always liked pumpkin. Pouf had started her on pumpkin seeds last fall. Now there were holes in these two big beasts that stood dauntingly in front of Cupcake, the air fragrant with their scent. And although this brought back a lot of melancholy memories to the young squirrel, nevertheless, she turned her head back and forth and finally crept to the scene of Tommy's devastation. If the lady caught her, would she punish her with a hole in her head, like her mother suffered? What if the pumpkin fought back? She crept to and fro, holding her hing legs glued to the ground and her tail upright. No sign of the lady, and the pumpkin stayed put.

Eventually, Cupcake reached the side of the pumpkin away from the windows and dug into one of the holes started by Tommy. No one bothered her; the pumpkin didn't complaint. Eventually, Cupcake was disturbed at her eating by someone at the window. The lady was there and she was coming out angry. Cupcake was next to the rails and descended quickly down to the balcony of the lower apartment. The lady was very angry. She groaned. "Oh, look at this mess. These damn squirrels. As good as I am to them. Oh, well, now they might as well enjoy this one. They ruined it and it will only rot." (EDITOR'S NOTE: The lady was my roomie/slave, if you hadn't guessed.) By now Cupcake had climbed back to the gable and on up to the roof, and jumped on a tree branch overreaching toward the balconies. She listened and watched perched high in the tree.

The lady picked up the remains of the desecrated pumpkin, washed the balcony where the remains had lain and put a plastic garbage bag under the disemboweled pumpkin. She turned the pumpkin on its side so that the hole was lower to the floor of the balcony. She put fresh water for the squirrels in the water dish and left some nuts in the basket. Then she walked back in the apartment and closed the screen door and the glass sliding door.

Cupcake was aware that from nowhere at least six squirrels now raced down the gable eager to get at the nuts. One of the squirrels was her friend Dickie. Cupcake noticed that although some of the squirrels approached the pumpkin, none really attacked it. Cupcake believed that only she and Tommy craved pumpkin. Tommy was nowhere to be seen. He had eaten his fill and left. After a short time, she decided it was safe. The lady had not returned to the balcony and the other squirrels including Dickie were perched on the rails or had taken their nuts up to the roof top and gutter to eat. She could wait no longer. Hunger and anticipation had taken their toll on our shy little Cupcake. She skirted the branch she was perched on, made the jump to the roof top, and turned her back on the other gluttonous squirrels eagerly chomping away at their nuts, and so darting away from these squirrels, she then cautiously climbed down the gable to the balcony. Brazenly, she trotted over to the pumpkin, head and tail held high, and then dived in.

First, she chewed around the mouth of the wounds inflicted by Tommy. She widened the wound considerably. In her gluttony, she was not aware that the other squirrels feasting on the nuts had stopped eating, had climbed down to the balcony, and were watching her. There was much more soft pumpkin flesh and seeds out of her reach inside the pumpkin. She could stand it no longer, she stuck her head in the pumpkin, then her left forepaw, then her right forepaw, and she was inside the pumpkin up to her chest. She ripped into the soft flesh with her strong teeth and yanked. Still holding on, she backed out of the pumpkin and let go. There was pumpkin on her head and chest. There was a pile of pumpkin flesh, pulp and seeds in front of her which she mangled and chewed. The other squirrels stood back, frightened and yet fascinated by the sight of this brave little squirrel. Soon, one (Dickie) decided to join her for dinner and the others followed. Soon the pumpkin pile was nearly depleted and there was pumpkin scattered all over the balcony. Cupcake was still not satiated. She climed into the pumpkin up to her chest once more but the flesh was out of her reach. Impusively, throwing caution to the winds, she lifted her right hing leg into the pumpkin, and followed with her left leg. She was inside the dark of the pumpkin. She opened her mouth and yanked. Another pile of flesh, pulp and seeds landed on her head. She shook herself and exited the pumpkin, butt first, dragging a new pile of pumpkin innards with her.

Dickie had been watching Cupcake enter the pumpkin with open admiration. What a brave little female and exceptionally pretty too! Cupcake turned and looked right at him. All of a sudden, Dickie was a smitten squirrel. She beckoned to him to come over and eat next to her. He did. Great pumpkin!

After they finished eating, they both rested and Dickie started licking and grooming Cupcake. Cupcake found this attention stirred her in ways she had never experienced before. Then Dickie crooned to her and bit her ear just a little bit. Cupcake had come of age that day. Later, Cupcake said she knew she should now mate and change her name. Both squirrels thought and Dickie suggested Tricksy because it was definitely a "tricky situation" climbing inside that pumpkin. She agreed on Tricksy and to this day she still loves all parts of pumpkin, her mate Dickie and her sister Pouf. In addition, she now has two baby girl squirrels, Comfy and Cozy, that she loves equally. The girls love to hear the story of her coming of age and both girl squirrels look forward to fall and tasting pumpkin for the first time alongside their mommy and daddy.

* * * * *

And that ends Tricksy's story. Let me know how you liked her story by leaving a Comment or sending me an e-mail at Carriemaebr@aol.com. Thank you.

Tricksy Loves Pumpkin - Part 1

2007-05-17T12:38:00.000-05:00

I was seated on my throne and my roomie/slave was out shopping again. Dickie brought his mate Tricksy with him on his next visit. Tricksy told her life story in segments so, I will edit her story and tell it to you in my own words. I think you will be as interested in her life as I was.

Tricksy loves three things more than any other squirrel alive. She loves her mate, Dickie, her sister Pouf and pumpkin. Most people might not understand Tricksy's overwhelming craving for pumpkin, but they are a part of her life. She relishes them: pumpkin flesh, pumpkin pulp (the membrane inside the pumpkin that holds the seeds) and pumpkin seeds. Every fall and especially around Halloween, Tricksy fattens up for the winter on pumpkin and pumpkin parts.

Tricksy had a personal tragedy when she was just a few weeks old. She was known as Cupcake then. When squirrels reach maturity and mating age, they can change their name. So Cupcake became Tricksy. At the time when a young squirrel will become almost independent of its mother. Mother Squirrel took Tricksy (Cupcake) and her two brothers Horse and Buggy and sister Pudding out to play and for training sessions. Mother taught them where to find food and what to avoid. Cupcake/Tricksy was born in a winter litter. When spring arrived, she was a very happy squirrel being out in the warm air with her family. She never forgot the new things she was seeing and how great a World it is.

Then tragedy struck. Something hit her mother in the forehead and left a hole. Red water started spurting out. Her mother climbed to the roof for the last time. Cupcake and the other little ones stood watching; they knew something was dreadfully wrong, but they didn't know what to do.

Their mother was unable to make it home with them. The little ones stood helplessly by while mother lay there, her lifeblood dripping out of her, in obvious pain. Eventually mother closed her eyes, crawled to the gutter and rolled herself off the roof in order to end it quickly. When morning light came, Cupcake found her mother stiff and cold in the landscaped garden of the Condominium building. Cupcake stayed near her mother, staring at the hole in her forehead. Her sister and brothers all eventually moved away, but still little Cupcake sat nearby, jumping in a bush if one of the people came around.

It was mid-morning when a lady came and gawked at the dead squirrel in front of one of the apartment buildings. She left and returned with a broom and dustpan and a bag. She scooped the dead squirrel up and into the bag and then walked slowly away. Cupcake watched in silent horror and then followed the lady to the edge of the property where the lady tossed her mother's body on the other side of the fence near the Creek. Cupcake realized that the lady was upset; she looked like she might cry. The lady crossed herself and then stood watch for a bit. Then she turned and left, her head down. When she was out of sight, Cupcake found a way to get to her mother. She climped up to the top of the fence and then down again and sat down next to her mother and began her vigil. Cupcake, who usually ate heartily, had not eaten for nearly a day, but she did not feel hungry.

At noon, Cupcake still sat at her vigil. Then all of a sudden a familiar voice called out. "Cupcake, what has happened? Is that our mother? You poor baby!" It was her older sister Pouf, that she barely knew. Pouf had come around once or twice and talked to her mother and looked at the new babies, but Cupcake was too young to play with her and so Pouf was almost a stranger to her. Cupcake started crying for the first time. "Aargh. Aargh. Aargh. Aargh. Aargh."

Then Pouf came and put her arms around Cupcake and led her away. Pouf was very sad, but did not cry. "You poor baby, you must be in shock over the death of our mother and it was caused by some person with a B-B gun that killed her for sport. You come with me now. Where are the others? Where are your brothers and sister?"

Cupcake still sobbing, shook her head. She didn't know. "They just left," she said, "but I stayed behind waiting for mother to get up." Sister Pouf gently led her away. Then, Pouf started to pick up speed and the little one was forced to forget her sorrow in order to keep up with Pouf. Eventually, Pouf helped her climb up a tree and there was Pouf's leaf nest in the crook of an old tree. It was warm and dry and just big enough for little Cupcake and Pouf. Pouf had some seeds and a few nuts and insisted the Cupcake eat. Cupcake found she was very hungry, now that she was in her kind sister's home. Cupcake was not afraid any more. She ate and then she found her eyes closing rapidly and she slept. Pouf left the nest just long enough to gather more nuts and seeds. Her sister was still asleep when she returned.

All through the spring and summer, Pouf looked after Cupcake. Pouf and Cupcake were unable to find her two orphaned brothers and sister. Pouf told Cupcake the story of how a dog bit her tail and killed one of her babies. The other baby took a fall and died. Pouf was very glad to take care of Cupcake and Cupcake was glad to have Pouf look after her.

Fall set in and the leaves all changed to bright gold, crimson and yellow. Pouf was of mating age. She had to leave the nest and warned Cupcake to be careful while she was gone. Besides looking for a mate, Pouf was hunting for a hollow tree for their winter home. Pouf wanted children of her own and she knew they needed more protected housing for the cold winter nights than a leaf nest could provide. Pouf found a small hollow in a tree nearby. It could shelter herself, her sister and tiny babies.

Pouf did mate that autumn, and one baby was born. She named him Skinny. The three squirrels were very happy together. Before giving birth, Pouf brought Cupcake to the balcony of an apartment nearby where there was Indian corn, pumpkins, squashes and walnuts. While Pouf was still recuperating after the birth of Skinny, Cupcake went out for food by herself and brought back nuts, seeds and corn for Pouf and Skinny. Her cheeks were stuffed full with the stash of food.

One day Cupcake was just about ready to shell a walnut. Shelling big nuts like walnuts was still too hard for her because her mouth and teeth were still too small. Cupcake was on the balcony when a rather large squirrel came by. Cupcake hid behind a storage bin. A smaller squirrel trailed along behind the older squirrel. He hid on the other side of the balcony behind another storage bin. Cupcake didn't think they knew that she was hiding nearby. Pouf was very partial to the corn, so when Cupcake returned she always had a mouthful of corn for Pouf. The older squirrel started eating the Indian corn immediately. He ate for quite a long time and then left silently by climbing the gable to the roof of the building and then jumping to a tree branch. Cupcake took the long route up because she was not good at jumping yet.

The younger squirrel stayed behind. He was a male and about Cupcake's age and size. Both had to go through winter and spring into fall before mating age. Cupcake peeked out and watched the other squirrel. Then he saw her. Cupcake froze in fear. But the younger squirrel only cheed softly and invited her to eat with him. Cupcake liked this squirrel. He was in good health and made her laugh. They ate together and made a date to see each other again on the balcony after the male squirrel's daddy left. He said his name was Clever and his daddy's name was Tommy (pictured at top right).

Pouf, Skinny and Cupcake were very happy that winter and spring. Cupcake looked after the baby Skinny when Pouf went hunting and gathering. She came back with plenty of corn and nuts to feed Skinny and Cupcake. The winter was mild and the three were snug enough in the hollow tree trunk. Then spring blossomed into summer and Cupcake came of age. Cupcake saw her friend Clever often. He told her he had taken the name Dickie and was ready to mate. She knew she had come of age and wondered what name she should take. She liked Cupcake, but realized it was a baby's name.

Dickie and her remained good friends uptil Cupcake saw a line of female squirrels following her friend Dickie up the wall of the Condo. She stared at the procession in horror. She was overcome by sadness and was sure she had been betrayed by her friend Dickie. She had taken the situation for granted that he would become her mate when they were both of age. Cupcake didn't know what to do. While Cupcake pondered over this situation, the short northern summer turned to fall and the leaves changed from the dark green of late summer into the brilliance of fall. The dark green of the evergreen trees lent depth to the gold and red and yellow leaves on the other trees as well as an air of mystery.

COME BACK in a couple of weeks and find out how Cupcake (Tricksy) and Dickie came to realize their attraction for each other and mate.

Please let me hear from you by leaving a Comment or sending an e-mail to me at Carriemaebr@aol.com. Thank you.

Cont'd Dickie's Tale - Part 2

2007-05-06T15:57:00.000-05:00

It was a few days later before I was able to catch up with Dickie (pictured here). Trouble was my roomie slave was usually in the front room watching television or doing some of her newspaper cutting (used to line my poop pan). Then one day she decided to do some shopping, and as soon as she closed the front door and I saw that the coast was clear, I asked Dickie to continue his story on a Bad Night for Sleeping.

Dickie spoke slowly and reluctantly. "It was my decision," he said, "that Arnie must be taken to the lady Chris and the man Jim who regularly fed us squirrels. This was the same apartment you now live in. The couple moved out and your lady moved in.

"I belived that the lady Chris would recognize Arnie and that she would care for him. We squirrels would wait and see if Arnie was taken in for rehabilitation by the people. I believed it was Arnie's only chance. Arnie was in terrible pain and could not survive without the care that only people could give him. I believed that both people were kind to animals and cared about the squirrels and treated us with respect. I only hoped that I myself had not made the people mad at us by jumping on their screen door and making holes in it and sometimes trying to open the screen door. I succeeded in getting inside the apartment twice and then got panicky and Chris had to let me out. I got as far as the love seat over there once."

I, Carrie Mae, Bunny Rabbit, was shocked that Dickie had been inside and near the loveseat, a place, where even I was not allowed to jump to or walk on.

"With first light, we male squirrels set off. We took turns carrying Arnie on our backs. Arnie cried most of the time, but especially, if we hit a bump. Crow acted as look-out and led the way. Arnie was scared to death. He didn't know where we were taking him, and he was very afraid, and yet in too much pain to resist.

"We finally reached the balcony of the people. Arnie was screaming and had limped off and hidden behind a large storage box on the balcony. I went up to the balcony door, saw lights on inside the apartment and jumped on the screen door to attract attention.

"The lady Chris appeared and then the man Jim. Chris opened the glass balcony door, then started to open the screen door. Hastily, I jumped down. Tommy and Crow stood nearby. All of us squirrels jumped to the rail. Tommy jumped down again and I did the same. Arnie was crying pitifully. 'Aargh. Aargh. Aargh.' Tommy and I knew Arnie was pleading with us, begging us not to leave him here. Arnie was in mortal squirrel terror.

"'Dickie, Tommy, why are you so aggitated. What's wrong.'

"The man Jim came up to the door. He started yelling. 'What in the World is going on out here?'

"Crow had already climbed the roof gable over the entrance to the Tudor-style building and on up to the gutter. Tommy and I quickly jumped to the roof gable and started climbing. Tommy returned and hung upside down. I wondered why Tommy was provoking this confrontation with the man. Tommy's little mouth moved, voicing silent curses, and his stare at the man was decidedly black and threatening. I believed Tommy was just mad at the World at this moment because poor Arnie's fate hung in the balance and he did not believe the man would help Arnie. I think Tommy blamed himself because Arnie was a runt.

"'Shut up, you dumb squirrel, and get out of here, I say. I'll give you mouthing off at me.'

"I climbed down the balcony and jumped on the rail. All of us squirrels twitched our tails vigorously.

"'Aargh. Aargh. Aargh.' Arnie was crying louder than ever.

"'What's that noice?', the man asked.

"'Oh, it's Arnie, I'm sure.' the lady answered. 'I recognize his cry.' It was the lady Chris who first saw Arnie when he was a baby following all of us older squirrels as we hunted for food. 'Arnie never seemed to get his turn to eat before the others left the balcony in a group. He would cry 'aargh,' 'aargh,' in the most heart-rending tones. 'I felt he would never grow up without food, but he seemed unable to stand his ground and eat what was left over, but kept following the older, bigger squirrels when they departed,' the lady explained.

"'So, you're on a first name basis with all the neighborhood squirrels?'

"The lady Christ ignored Jim and continued. 'He's the little crybaby squirrel. The other squirrels pick on him and won't let him eat. I thought if I named him Arnie (after Arnold . . .), then he would grow up big and strong like . . . .'

" . . . 'Yeah, we know who.'

"The man moved the storage case and they both saw Arnie, not even as big as the lady's fist. Arnie certainly looked forlorn. His broken leg was bloody. He was scrawny and his sparse fur was wet and hung in clumps on his back. Arnie's skin could be seen here and there. Actually, all of the squirrels were shedding their winter fur, but the people didn't know that.

"'I don't know if that squirrel will make it to adulthood. He's the runt of the litter and must be the whipping boy,' the man said.

"Arnie tried to jump, but only moved a short distance and fell down, crying piteously. 'Aargh. Aargh. Aargh.'

"'Poor thing, he's in too much pain even to twitch his tail.' The lady looked very sad.

"The man looked at the lady and then at Arnie. He picked up Arnie and was remarkable gentle. 'It looks like he's hurt his hind leg. No wonder he can't move and he's in such pain. Hey, little fella!'

"The man carried Arnie inside. The lady followed and closed the doors to the balcony. I went up to the glass window on the right side of the balcony and tried to see inside, but both of the people and Arnie had moved out of sight. Tommy and Crow perched on the rail for a long time. I stood looking in the window. Later, we saw the man sitting at the dining room table drinking out of a cup.

"Reluctantly, we moved on. Going home.

"Later, we were a quiet sad bunch. Crow stayed out of sight for the rest of the day and didn't even come out to eat. Tommy was unusually quiet. He busied himself counting nuts, but never spoke a word. The female squirrels were hushed and still. By silent agreement, we squirrels had decided to never mention Arnie again.

"I remember I too was not hungry. I remember being weary and stretching out. I put my head between my front paws and closed my eyes tight. Still I felt something wet trickling down my cheeks. Then I felt another squirrel brush against me and slowly I opened my eyes slightly, just enough to see. It was my baby daughter Cozy.

"'Hi, daddy. It is I, Cozy. I love you, daddy. Mommy sent me here. She's busy caring for Comfy and Auntie Pouf. She thought you might need a little company.'

"I sniffled. I touched Cozy. She was bending over me, kissing me on the face. 'Sorry, daddy, but you know how I love salt. I think when I grow up, I'm going to visit Arnie and see how he's doing. I think you and all of us should visit Arnie and let him know how much we love him and miss him. Don't worry, daddy, I just know he'll be okay. I love you, daddy. We all love you, daddy. And, daddy, you did the right thing.'

* * * * *

Dickie seemed subdued and overcome with emotion. He bowed his little head and told me he was going home now. He never mentioned exactly where his home was or where the couple, Chris and Jim, were living now. I wanted to ask him, but he seemed reluctant to say more. I wanted to call after him, but I heard the door opening and knew my roomie/slave had returned. I sat upright and acted frightened and upset for her benefit because she had left me alone.

I'll try to find out more about Arnie at another time when Dickie is his usual happy and brazen self.

RETURN TO THIS WEBLOG IN APPROXIMATELY TWO OR THREE WEEKS FOR ANOTHER EPISODE. Write Comments or send an e-mail to me with your thoughts to Carriemaebr@aol.com. Thank you.

Dickie's Tale: A Bad Nite for Sleeping - Part 1

2007-05-06T15:49:00.000-05:00

My roomie/slave (now referred to as r/s) went shopping and I snoozed on my throne (pictured above). I was in that delicious state of drowsiness, when I saw Dickie Squirrel come up to the window and look in on me. Dickie is unmistakeable. No other squirrel that comes to share my r/s's generosity has a tail so magnificent. Dickie's tail is twice his size in length and easily three times as wide in girth. After I told him that my r/s was out, he started telling me about the worst night in his life.

He called his story "A Bad Night for Sleeping."

"It began one night when the full moon was cloaked by clouds. And that's a bad omen," Dickie averred. "The moon shed just enough light to outline the bank of Stony Creek and to produce a long shadow that slithered toward a hollow tree.

"Earlier that night, inside the hollow tree, my two little baby girl squirrels were sleepy. Their baby beady eyes were closing. My two babies, Comfy and Cozy, are twins. They are identical twins; they eat at exactly the same time; they sleep at exactly the same time, they wake up at exactly the same time. Mommy Tricksy and I loved them dearly.

"Comfy said to her Mommy Tricksy, 'Mommy, it is I, Comfy. I love you mommy. I am very tired and want to go to sleep now.'

"Tricksy said, 'Oh, okay, Comfy, sweetie, I love you too. Of course you can go to sleep now.'

"Cozy said to her Mommy Tricksy, 'Mommy, it is I, Cozy. I love you mommy. I am very tired and want to go to sleep now.'

"Tricksy said, 'Oh, okay, Cozy, sweetie, I love you too. Of course you can go to sleep now.'

Dickie grinned. "They recited this litany every night."

"Tricksy has a sister named Pouf who helps out caring for the twins. Pouf lost her last two babies. One had fallen during a move and the other was attacked by a dog. The same dog bit Pouf on the tail. Her tail grew a flounce at the end like a child's ponytail, and that is how she got her name.

"Tricksy holds her babies in her arms while they fall asleep and sometimes Pouf holds one of the babies in her arms. Squirrels only mate in season, but we sleep together always and holding the babies is for the promotion of family values and for the protection of the babies. It is the best way for the family to stay warm during cold nights. Tricksy felt that Pouf needed to hold a baby to offset the loss of her own babies. Pouf also sleeps with her teddy bear, Susie Snort.

"Pouf has a teenage son, called Crow, from an earlier mating. Crow thinks the sun revolves around Comfy and Cozy and the girl squirrels adore him too.

"'Mommy, Comfy said, 'I want to sleep with Auntie Pouf. Is that okay?'

"'Yes, Comfy, sweetie, of course, you can sleep with Auntie Pouf. If that's okay with her.'

"When Auntie Pouf nodded agreement, Comfy slid over to Auntie Pouf's side, snuggled up, and put her arms around Auntie Pouf. She closed her sleepy little baby beady eyes and nodded off almost at once. Cozy put her arms around her mommy, snuggled up, and closed her sleepy little baby beady eyes. She was asleep almost immediately.

"Both Mommy Tricksy and Auntie Pouf were very tired and both hugged the baby girl squirrels and went to sleep. Tricksy dreamed of me, I know, and wondered where I was. A few minutes went by and then I slid down next to Tricksy and my baby girl squirrel Cozy and went to sleep.

"Auntie Pouf was so sound asleep that when she rolled over, she didn't notice that her arm dropped from around Comfy's little body and curled around her teddy bear, Susie Snort. Poor Pouf. She would never forgive herself.

"The other members of the family slept in various places. Let me tell you about them."

Dickie said, "I mostly slept with Tricksy and the girl squirrels, but on occasion, I moved up to Tommy's post or sometimes I slept at the fork near Arnie and Crow. I slept in different places because I wanted to be sure that the others in the den were in their proper positions for guarding the den. Tommy stays up toward the top of the hollow tree trunk to guard against danger to the family and theft to his stash of treasures and his cache of nuts. Tommy is a large squirrel and he's my father and the girl squirrels' grandfather. Tommy was the alpha squirrel of the entire Stony Creek, but he ceded the post to me. Tommy knew he was not well liked by the other squirrels of Stony Ridge Creek, but I seem to be well liked and Tommy wanted to keep title in the family. Tommy, however, is my general counsel and advisor. (Tommy is an accomplished thief as well and that comes in handy to acquire creature comforts for our den that are not enjoyed by other squirrels.

"Arnie is a yound squirrel who is unusually small, and doesn't show signs of growing any more. He's the 'runt of the litter.' No one knows Arnie's ancestry, but we all believe he is an offspring of Tommy and that makes him my half brother.

"After the sounds of the creek and the highway diminished, a pin might have been heard if it had dropped and if anyone was awake to hear it. All of us squirrels were sound asleep, dreaming of walnuts and Brazil nuts, pecans and peanuts.

"A lone figure crept into the tree. He was the long shadow that slithered toward the hollow tree that was home for the Stony Ridge Creek den squirrels. The shadow belonged to a marauding, kidnaping, large Renegade Red Fox squirrel. All of us Stony Ridge Creek squirrels are Eastern Grey squirrels. We are non-aggressive, gentle squirrels that never bite even each other. We are very playful, and even if a controversy arises, we flick our tails up and down or in a circle to show agitation and click our teeth and chase each other, but only bite another squirrel by accident or during courtship. We never bite people. We run away when a conflict arises. Red Fox squirrels are an aggressive bunch that could and did bite, especially if they met a gray squirrel.

"When the Renegade Red squirrel found Comfy, now strethched out next to her Auntie Pouf, with no guarding arms around her, he nudged and squirmed around and beneath her, until Comfy found herself rising up on the Red's back. Of course, Comfy was not sure what was happening and at first believed it must be her mommy that was set to carrying her. She automatically locked her little legs and her tail around the big squirrel's head so she woudn't fall off. Then she smelled the Red squirrel and screamed.

"The silence of the night was broken by sounds of a crying and screaming baby girl squirrel. 'Aargh. Aargh. Aargh.' Then again, even lounder and more lamented. 'Aargh. Aargh. Aargh.' Mommy Tricksy and I shot bolt upright and looked around. Again, we heard the scream of our baby girl squirrel. 'Aargh. Aargh. Aargh.' I ran jumping in the direction of the sound. I feared I might be too late.

"In the meantime, Tommy had heard the cry of little Comfy and jumped and ran in the direction of the sound. It was coming from outside the tree now. The Renegade Red squirrel had taken off through the fire escape exit instead of the front exit diligently guarded by Tommy. It was a case of squirrel-napping!

"The fire exit was guarded over on the inside by Uncle Arnie, the runt of the litter, and the teenager Crow, Auntie Pouf's son. On the outside was the bramble path with many sticks and twigs piled up to conceal the fire escape entrance to the tree home. Arnie was awakened by Comfy's cries and sped off after the Renegage Red. Arnie was closely followed by Tommy and I was catching up. A sleepy Crow was following. Arnie jumped ahead of the Renegade Red and succeeded in stopping him. The big Red Fox Squirrel smashed Arnie to the ground. Poor little Arnie rolled over and over and came to rest in a ditch barely missing falling into the Creek.

"By now, Tommy was ready and he slammed into the Renegade Red just like a rocket. Tommy, propelled by anger, knocked the Renegade Red off his feet. I slid up alongside in time to catch Comfy, my little baby girl squirrel, as she was catapulted into the air by the force of Tommy's assault. Comfy landed in my open arms and I then hustled her onto my back and raced back to the front door of the tree home. The Red was stunned and dizzy and Tommy and Crow helped get Arnie on his feet, and, moving quickly, followed Comfy and me to safety.

"'Aargh. Aargh. Aargh.' Comfy ws still crying and now it seemed as if her cries were even louder and echoed throughout the tree and the forest surrounding the Creek. Things only seemed to settle down after Tricksy ran over and took her baby in her arms. Pouf was crying pitifully and wringing her arms and pulling her fur. She blamed herself for the attempted kidnaping of little Comfy. Cozy was close behind, confused and scared. Comfy quieted down.

"However, the sounds of a crying squirrel resounded throughout the Creek and the forest. It was then noted that poor Arnie had been badly injured during his attack on the Renegade Red.

"The rest of the family was accounted for. Tommy and I suffered only minor cuts and scrapes from the twigs and brambles. Crow was basically uninjured as was little Comfy. Comfy was badly shaken up. Cozy was confused and upset. Both of the baby girl squirrels were crying. Pouf was very upset, crying and continually wringing her hands and tearing at her fur. Tricksy was upset but busied herself tending to both baby girl squirrels. It was little Arnie, the runt of the litter, the hero of the night, that was badly injured with a broken and useless leg. A powwow then took place between all of us male squirrels as to how to help Arnie."

* * * * * *

At that point in his narrative, Dickie saw Crow and his cronies, Dingbat, Bodda, Bodda, Bing and Horseface in a tree near the balcony and heard them giggling. Dickie knew the teenagers were up to some mischief and so, excusing himself, he said he'd be back at a later date and finish his story, but he had to go now, before the teenagers caused trouble for the Condominium people.

COME BACK TO THIS SITE SOON FOR THE CONCLUSION OF DICKIE'S STORY CALLED "A Bad Night for Sleeping." Again, let me know your comments either at the end of this blog or by e-mail at Carriemaebr@aol.com. Thank you.

My Lifestyle

2007-04-27T12:47:00.000-05:00

I quickly progressed from the "quiet, shy, scared" rabbit of the past into the lovable rascal I am now. You know, of course, I was always considered to be a rascal. At night I doze on my throne (that's me in the picture), and waited for my roomie/slave to get up. When she gets up, we officially begin our day. It is 4:40 a.m., and very dark in the house and in the hall. She keeps both her door and the door to the room with the computer closed on me. If she is sleeping in and I get too impatient, I go over to the bedroom and start scratching at the door and biting the woodwork around the door. Then she hollers out, "Okay, stop it. I'm getting up."

Soon, I see a bit of light at the bottom of the door and after a little while, the door opens. I try to rush in, but she closes the door. I scratch some more. She opens the door again. My nose is in! Sometimes, she holds out her purse, but I am quick and when the purse swings toward her, I run inside. With a mighty thump of triumph, I run under her bed and now she has to chase me from under the bed and out of her bedroom (before I need to poop or pee). For all you uninitiated in rabbit lore, we rabbits make a thump, a noise, by lifting our hind legs and hitting the ground hard when we come down. It is really quite impressive.

This morning, she didn't see me run in. so she left the room and closed the door to the bedroom behind her. She didn't see me and obviously believed I went back to the front room. (She's kind of blind without her glasses and woozy when she first gets up.) She went out to the front room to say good morning to me and then she called: "Carrie Mae, where are you?"

In her bedroom, I stop and stand at attention. By now, I am under the bed. There is silence and I imagine her looking all over for me. I can hear her talking to herself, saying "Where is she?" Finally, I hear a note of hysteria in her voice, as she screams, "Carrie Mae, show yourself." I listen in pleasure. Since she sounds like she might cry, I crawl out from underneath the bed and stand next to it, waiting for her to come get me. Sure enough, the door opens, and I see relief written all over her face, her shoulders relax and she says, "Carrie, sweetheart, come on. Come on out, please." I like to be begged.

That day, I made life a nightmare for my roomie/slave. Now that isn't because I hate her in any way. No, sir, I was just being mischievous, and this was her punishment for going out and leaving me alone the day before. I did not use my poop pan, but peed and pooped around it, sometimes looking right at her. She stood and pointed at the poop pan, yelling, "Using your poop pan!" Once or twice I hopped in it when she was standing over me, but then I'd sneak back and leave something for her to clean up. She has a hugh black trash bag that is heavy gage plastic used by contractors that she spread out. The white poop pan is on top of it. Underneath she has an old brown towel and under that, a rug. When I'm really going strong, I can make it through to the rug. That day, I did. She had to wash the towel and the rug and she put a clean, new black bag on top.

And so it went all day. I wore her out. Then the worse happened. I must have pooped in my play station and peed a little too when I was taking my afternoon nap. The stuff stuck to my rabbit hair and boy, did it stink. She never lets me get away without getting a butt bath. She had to catch me first. I led her on a merry chase. Behind the couch, under the dining room chairs, back to behind the couch and around to my play station. She moved the couch so she could get in back of it and possibly reach me. The house was in turmoil; the couch was moved and was neck and neck touching the coffee table. The rug between was thrown in a pile. The dining room chairs were pulled out. She turned on all the lights in the room in order to improve her vision. She had a gate in her hand. She moved a box to block my escape path and held the gate on the other side to pin me in.

Finally, I was back in my play station next to the balcony doors, and she reached in and grabbed my leg. She wouldn't let go. Then she pulled me up and had me pinned to her chest with both hands. One hand was under my forelegs and the other hand was holding my butt. I was facing the same direction she was headed and that was to the bathroom. She ran the water and I started whimpering piteously but to no avail. My butt was dunked into the water. She still held me with her right hand under my forelegs and used her left hand to pick off the poop. I whimpered. After hours of this torture, she said, "There now, that only took a minute or two, and I know I didn't hurt you. Stop your whimpering." She wrapped me up like a burrito inside a towel and I started kicking and squirming. Finally, she put me down on the floor and I ran off to sit on one of the throw rugs. I saw my roomie/slave push the couch back, push the coffee table into position, smooth down the throw rug in between, put the dining room chairs back in place, put the gate away, get me fresh water and hay and finally clean up the bathroom sink. She used that awful smelling stuff in the sink to sanitize it too.

Then she poured some red water in a glass and sat down, apparently exhaused. She slumped down on the couch, arms spread and resting on the arms of the couch. Her legs were spread and her eyes were not focused but looked blinding into space. I almost felt sorry for her, but the chase was her fault and she "had it comin'!" She looked pretty disheveled; her hair was stuck out in every direction and all over her face, and a bunch of hair stood straight up on top of her head. Her shirt was wet where I had splashed her by kicking while in the water. Her rolled up sleeves were wet and one was above her elbow while the other was down around her hand. One shoe was off and her slacks had slipped down on her hips, and these pants were not meant to be that stylish. I went over to the poop pan and pooped nearby on the black trash bag. I heard her say, "Oh, no. Not again."

After that she made me a salad and I started pooping again. You see, now, why its in her best interest not to leave me alone and go grocery shopping. She tries to convince me that my salad greens don't grow in her refrigerator, but that's her problem, not mine.

While my roomie/slave drinks her red water and relaxes, I jump on the couch and onto her lap. She feeds me by hand a delicacy she calls Triscuits. I'll never forget the first time I had a Triscuit in my new home. My roomie/slave was watching a program on television, called "Threshold." She was deeply engrossed in this program. It was a series about aliens from another planet invading our Earth and taking over the minds and bodies of the victims they encountered. This caused the poor people to act in very strange ways and sometimes die. Unfortunately for my roomie/slave, this series did not make it and was discontinued. However, on that night, my roomie/slave sat on the edge of the couch watching it. She had decided to have a light snack for dinner only. She was eating Triscuits spread with Philadelphia cream cheese. She had the food on a tray on the coffee table in front of her and would bend over and glance down only long enought to aim her knife into the cream cheese and stick her hand into the box of Triscuits. She was not paying attention to me. I had been camped on the rug to the right of her when all of a sudden, I saw the Triscuit in her left hand and in one smooth, deft movement, I pounced. I grabbed the Triscuit in my mouth and my jump carried me over her knees to the floor to the left of her. My roomie/slave screamed. I hastily crunched the Triscuit while my roomie/slave recovered. Later, I know she relayed this story to her friend Douglas (my tormentor), who roared with laughter. He said to her, "What did you think? One of those aliens had taken control of the critter?" You see, my roomie/slave talks to herself and to me constantly. That's how I know both sides of her telephone conversations and her thoughts and feelings.

The next day I was relaxing on my throne (pictured above) and the squirrel critter and his mate came looking for food. I soon came to know this animal was not an enemy. His name was Dickie Squirrel and he came often, usually accompanied by his mate Tricksy. He came to know I was not an enemy and he would still be fed normally. As a matter of fact, I can tell you, I began to look out for him and his mate and if my roomie/slave had not yet put food out for the squirrels, I would bite her socks and cock my head in the direction of the balcony. She always got the message and would hurry and get some food for the little critters.

When the sliding glass door was open, I could converse with Dickie and Tricksy when my roomie/slave wasn't in the room. Dickie had a lot of experiences in his young life. I came to understand that he was the leader of the Stony Ridge Creek Den Squirrels and he and his father, Tommy, as well as others, had been coming to the apartments here for a couple of years. Some of the owners of the Condominium fed the squirrels regularly. He introduced me to Tommy, his father, Cookie (Tommy's mate); Auntie Pouf (Tricksy's sister) and Pumpky (Pumpkinhead, Pouf's mate). I met Comfy and Cozy, Dickie and Tricksy's twin baby girl squirrels and they are adorable.

Dickie began telling me stories of his life in the trees. I'll be back with another post in approximately two weeks, so come back and I'll share a story that Dickie told to me about his family and his experiences.

LEAVE A COMMENT ON THIS WEBLOG OR SEND ME AN E-MAIL to Carriemaebr@aol.com. LET ME KNOW YOUR FEELINGS.

The day my life changed

2007-04-17T12:29:00.000-05:00

The day, May 25, 2005, started off ordinarily enough. The overhead lights were on for a long time, and finally, my favorite keeper came by and took me and my baby out of our cage and cleaned it. After the cleaning we were free to eat our hay and pellets and drink our fresh water. I want you to know I am not a people, I am a bunny rabbit, Permanent No. 11139052. Other rabbits called me Brownie. My baby and I were living at the Shelter in a room called the store. All we could see were shelves from floor to ceiling, loaded with boxes. When the boxes were open, we saw cans. There were also huge sacks piled up wherever they could be fit in. The Shelter itself was always noisy, dogs barking, people talking and children screaming and running in and out of the store. We lived at the Shelter for a long time, I think. At least it was a long time in bunny time.

Then, on that day, May 25, 2005, my whole life changed.

A lady came by and saw me first. I was alert and awake. She stuck her thumb between the rungs of my cage and I liked her so much, I kissed her finger. She walked away across the room and stuck her thumb in a cage and Ralph Rabbit tried to eat her nail. Then my keeper came and took her away to see the other rabbits. I knew there was a large room where many, many rabbits were kept. I was afraid I'd never see the lady again. I knew some of those rabbits were cute, white with black patches, black with white patches, baby rabbits, older rabbits, all white rabbits, all black rabbits. I am multi-colored, brown and black and tan, with a white belly. I heard some people say that they thought I must be a wild rabbit. I am described by the Shelter as 'Breed: Lop. English/Unknown' and my age at adoption in May, 2005 is stated as "1 year. 1 month.

After a time, the lady came back and she went right to me and again stuck her thumb in my cage. I kissed it. She smiled delightedly and said to my keeper, 'I want this rabbit.' Ha! Ha! You betcha I knew a good mark when I saw it. But you can never be sure. I thought my heart would beat out of my chest with sheer joy. My baby was not happy at all with this turn of events, and was frowning, her brows knit in worry. Everyone, people and animals, seemed surprised that the lady wanted me. The employee at the desk questioned my keeper who told her that my lady had a lot of material on rabbits that she showed him including most commonly used names for rabbit pets. Guess, what? "Bugs Bunny" led the list. Phooey, I knew my lady had a better name than that for me.

She had to pay some money for something to be done to me. That procedure would be done tomorrow, Thursday, May 26, 2005, and she could pick me up and take me with her to my new home on Friday. She said she'd use Thursday to buy all the supplies and food she needed for me. My heart was beating wildly with pleasure. Thursday was not a good day for me. They hurt me. I heard the people doing it say they were fixing me so I couldn't have any children

Come Friday, May 27, 2005, my lady appeared and I was weighed and put in a box by one of the Shelter's Clinic assistants. When I struggled, she said, "take it easy, little one, you'll be out of here in no time." The assistant looked at me and then at my lady. My lady was looking at me like I was a piece of birthday cake. The assistant made an observation, "Oh, I know who's going to be in charge here! But, this rabbit needs some fattening up though!"

I liked the sound of that last remark--It meant plenty of good food for me to eat.

I went home and to my horror, was put in another cage. However, the door to the cage was left open and I was allowed to sleep. That's all I wanted to do. My lady fussed over me; she was distressed that I was not eating or even drinking water and splashed some water on my face to get me to at least drink water.

I remember the next day, Saturday, very well. I was fine again. I guess it was early morning and the lady appeared and started making her coffee when I stepped out of my cage. My lady applauded and yelled hurrah. I started checking out my new surroundings by circling around the room, leaving escape clues. I did this by rubbing my cheeks against the wall and furniture as I circled the room. Shortly after, I started pooping. I pooped and pooped and pooped.

I ate and drank water and then went and took a nap for awhile. My lady was overjoyed. She called my new godmother, Mrs. Z., and told her of my progress. Mrs. Z. explained all the steps I had taken for my security.

So began my new life with my roomie/slave. I have a lot of fun with my roomie/slave and met other rabbits through her. These rabbits are named Buddy (BudBud), Rocky, Marty and Vito, and belong to Mrs. Z., my godmother. She gave my roomie/slave a lot of advice and help in the beginning. Please note the easy transition from "my lady" to "my roomie/slave." Yes, the change was easy--like summer to fall.

My roomie/slave told Mrs. Z. that although she had considered a lot of names for me, including "Nitro," and "Darby," but because I was a female and so beautiful, that she felt she needed to give me a sweet sounding name. Mrs. Z. said, "Be careful, you just might have yourself a 'Nitro.'" She named me Carrie Mae, so my initials would be the same as hers, "C" and "M." She told Mrs. Z. that I was a beautiful rabbit, with long black eyelashes. She said she was glad I had been able to have a baby before that opportunity was taken away from me forever. My roomie/slave told me that I now had a name, and so I also now had an identity. I was Carrie Mae Bunny Rabbit.

My roomie/slave found out that the Clinic at the Shelter would not see sick rabbits. She called the local animal hospitals and veterinarians and asked, "Do you do rabbits?" She found an animal hospital, only five minutes away that just started rabbits. My doctor started working there now and he had a rabbit of his own too. My roomie/slave was very happy. An appointment was made so he could check me out. My roomie/slave had to bring in all my adoption papers from the Shelter and he made a copy for his records. She was impressed with my doctor and felt he was very nice and cute too. Okay with me until he piped up, "Which one of you in the pet?" During my examination, I was weighed; my doctor poked around my eyes, my mouth, and private parts. When he brought me back to my roomie/slave, he told her I was overweight and questioned her on what she was feeding me. I got even with him for this disgraceful conduct toward me and the promise he elicited from my roomie/slave to hold back on high calorie food and my treat (details in my next blog). I bit him. My roomie/slave put her hand to her mouth and her face fell. She was no doubt embarrassed. As for me, as the song says, "he had it coming'!" Recently, he said that I am too smart for my own good. I think we rabbits need to be smart because after all we are small little helpless creatures.

Back to the present, I am now running the household. You will note my picture taken at Halloween, 2006, in the beginning of this story. I am pictured with a jack-o-lantern named Douglas, after my tormentor. I will discuss him at length in the future.

But I am getting ahead of myself. Going back to May, 2005, when I first began life with my roomie/slave, after a couple of weeks, I was in a cozy spot behind a living room chair, when a strange animal began looking in the window. I thought the Shelter had every animal imaginable but this one was totally new to me. It was shielding its eyes from the sun with its front paws. It used its paws like people use their arms and hands. It was small, gray and had a bushy tail larger than the animal itself. It scared me and I thumped for help. My roomie/slave came into the room, but because the vertical wall-size blinds were positioned in such a manner, she could not see out and did not see this strange little beast who seemed quite malevolent toward me. She called my godmother, Mrs. Z., for advice. After the call, my roomie/slave came back and stood next to me and then she saw the little beast looking in the window. She laughed and said, "Oh, that's just Dickie Squirrel."

COME BACK TO THIS SITE SOON AND LEARN MORE ABOUT MY EXPERIENCES WITH THIS LITTLE BEAST CALLED A SQUIRREL.